And finding out information that is detrimental to our marriage?
He left his account on and i had suspected he was corresponding with someone as she texts his phone all the time with silly questions like why aren't you calling me and other things a jealous girlfriend would say. I looked in his sent messages and found emails to a woman.
Heres what i found out.
*he left her to marry me
*during our recent separation she was a supportive "girlfriend" online and he visited her. (this part doesn't bother me because we were separated)
*he is continuing to tell her that we are separated and that he visits us on weekends (us is me and the 3 kids) in reality we have been back together and living together since February 2007. the emails are from this last week so these are not emails from before we got back together.
*he is trying to get sent to the east coast on temporary assignments so he can visit her
* she admits that she is in love with him but she has a boyfriend ALSO!
2007-06-01 08:59:48 · 63 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
* they have had this online "relationship" since we have been married which is almost 4 years now.
How do i apologize to him about invading his privacy and also confront him about their "thing" without making him think that my offense cancels out his offense?
Any ideas?
2007-06-01 09:03:07 · update #1
I can't just leave, we have 3 kids. Let me tell you if we didn't i would leave without even saying a word as to why.
2007-06-01 09:18:26 · update #2
Email is how I found out my ex- husband was cheating... well and other things like pictures sent to me from his "friends"
we were married 4 years- too (including the divorce process)
I moved on- found a wonderful Man and finally happy.
Good luck with that one.
2007-06-01 09:20:58 · answer #1 · answered by sm_ie2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd just say when he left the computer on the other day he forgot to log out and that when you went to log him out you saw emails from that woman and you were curious. Tell him you are sorry for reading his email but that he has bigger things to worry about like explaining why he is planning to carry on an affair that has been going on throughout your marriage and deciding if he wants to continue the marriage OR the affair. And make sure you let him know that he can't have both.
You deserve a faithful, loving husband that you can trust and I'm sorry to say that he doesn't sound like any of those things. Has he ever been completely faithful to you? Does he really love you like he should? Is he (as he is now) the type of husband you want? You can't change someone unless they want to change themselves.
Good Luck
2007-06-01 09:18:32 · answer #2 · answered by C T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see where you're coming from. I wouldn't confront anymore as it's going to make you look 'jealous' I would try and just focus more on yourself. He's allowed to talk to women and if he cheats which is your biggest fear, he will there's nothing you can do and it will be his loss, I'm sure he won't but you need to stop with the checking emails and being so insecure. Love and marriage is a risk. Get made up and have some nights focusing on yourself with your friends and have fun. Just feel good if you're having a tough time feeling beautiful, change something get a nice hair cut or buy something sexy, life shouldn't be spend in fear or worry, have fun relax.
2016-05-18 22:13:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apologize? What the hell are you smoking?! Fact is this man you call your husband is having an emotional affair. He is lying to you and this other woman and is no offense a D-O-G! Confront him tell him to stop all contact or better yet get her email address and email her yourself and set the record straight. once you do that she will either email him back or cut all ties to him. If she emails him back and says you emailed her simply tell him "I suspected you were cheating on me now I know" honey you have to be a strong woman for yourself and your children and move on in life. The longer you stay the more angry you will become and you will trust less and less and there is NO marriage or relationship that can last without trust.
2007-06-01 09:08:14 · answer #4 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He must still have feelings for her! If he loved you the way he should he would not be talking to her at all! Tell him you know what is going on. YOU CAN make it on you on. I did with 3 kids. It was hard some times, but I had my self respect. Let him know you will not put up with this. I can't tell you divorce him, but I would. How can you trust him now? Live is no fun always worrying about a cheating husband. You don't need to apologize HE does.
2007-06-01 10:06:00 · answer #5 · answered by jas30705 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW. I think someone else needs to be doing the apologizing here. You had reason to be suspicious and frankly, you do not owe him an apology. My husband and i are very open with email accounts and text messages because we had issues with that when we were just dating. Now, he is free to check my email and text messages as often as he wants and I am free to do the same...as we both have nothing to hide. You seem very laid back about this and i commend your bravery.
He should not have married you if he still had feelings for another woman. This "other woman" of his sounds like garbage too. I say you file for divorce and ask for an apology from him because you cannot have a marriage when one person is thinking about an old lover. Period.
Best of luck to you and i hope everything works out for you.
2007-06-01 09:06:26 · answer #6 · answered by maybe 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is a good thing that you read that email. Because you should know the truth. Especially, if he wants to cheat on you.
In a conversation, you can tell him the truth. You found the emails on the computer and discovered the truth. You should not have to apologize because you have done nothing wrong. He is the one cheating on you not vice versa.
So you need to think about your family and your children. What is the best thing? If you are afraid of Divorce. Don't worry. Divorce is very common, especially if you are married to the wrong person.
2007-06-01 09:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by Kevin Dellinger 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children are never an excuse to keep a relationship alive.
Both of you'll must be responsible in bringing up the children, if you are married or seperated.
A Man can only have a single love at any one time , the rest are affairs or somethimg else.
Where you belong now.
So best to get a professional help, counseling.
Try to solve problems and get back or in your case the best recommendation is to seperate.
2007-06-01 10:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by Doublediamond 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its really sad to hear about dis.I dont understand for what hv u done 2 apologize.Pls dont do tat.Now u cannot move out wid ur 3 kids as well(its a big responsibility).Look.He used nd threw u(sorry 4 being rude).Now u do d same to him.I mean wotevr b d issue your marriage iz still legal.So he iz still responsible for the kids.Tell him or if u can try to take d print out nd tell him tat u r aware abt wotevr iz happening.He may then try to apologise.Tell him the old stuff...tell him tat u want him to change atleast for his children.He will definetely say OK gimme a chance.Tell him clearly then that u dont want him to move to east coast.u wud prefer 2 stay where u r currntly residin.insist on dis....Now dis can b d only way out coz u also hv to think abt ur kids.I hope evrything wud b fine soon.
2007-06-02 02:53:31 · answer #9 · answered by Fiona 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
apologize? this guy is cheating on u well if not, and u've found evidence which is solid and u want to apologize before confronting him? what kind of a person are u?, well u must take it cool, go to him and tell him straight in the eye that he left his account on and u read his emails so what has he got to say? as simple as that, he might get nasty but also get nasty. let him know that u are not someone to joke with.
2007-06-02 00:01:10 · answer #10 · answered by asuoonline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋