What would you do?

Question

I have a wife who has been ignoring me when I needed a sholder, she spends all her time talking to her new online friends. Each day when I am really upset I try to get a hug, or some other form of affection from her when she's online. when I do she gets angry and tells me "to stop bugging her". At night when I try to cuddle with her she just pushes me away. I've been upset to the point of before I used to sleep 'oh natural' (not trying to be a perv here.... this is an actual request for help)
now I sleep almost fully clothed because I hate my body. When she needs help or a sholder to cry on I am there for her, but I hate doing it when I get sh*t in return. Am I wrong for feeling that way? What should I do?

Recently we both have been forced apart for Legal reasons. I have spoke to her about how I feel, but she says she'll change. But then she doesn't, it goes back to the same old thing. Her ignoring me, not listening to me (she yells at me for saying that, but what would you call it if your spous made a promise to you, just to get you to shut up about it?) I'm worried that when this seperation is over nothing will change, and I'll have to start bottling up my saddness all over again.

to avoid people asking me about what our sex life is like.... (honestly) I've been horny to the point where I could probubly kill her with sex. Our sex life has been for the last 6 months D.O.A. with a DNR thanks to her.

sorry about that, ment to say "on the days when I am upset" I have been pretty upset lately on a regular basis, but it was only on really really sh*ty days where I tried to get comfort but got letteraly blown off.

tammynsteve89 hope your husband knows how lucky he is...

Answer 1

Tell her what you've just told us!

Answer 2

Sounds almost like shes addicted to the computer! It's horrible that she is doing this to you. The only thing that I could think to do is talk to her. I know that you probably already have, but maybe you should go at it in a different way. Maybe try taking her out to dinner (make it a more private place though) or even make a picnic or something so that you two can have a one on one (this romantic gesture may also bring the romance back--you could even start by talking about how much fun you had in the past and then lead into what is happening now). Be sympathetic when you tell her how you feel; some people take things very defensivly and may feel as if they are being attacked and that is why they don't want to talk and get angry. Just sit down with her and tell her how she is making you feel. If she still doesn't seem to repond well, then calmly ask her to put herself in your shoes and try to see how you may feel. If that still does not work, then unfortunatly you may need to re-evaluate your relationship. Nobody wants to feel that way and I'm sure you don't want to go on feeling that way. When your in a relationship, you need that affection; if your not getting it, it just might not work! Good luck though!

Answer 3

You have needs and you need to express to her that she is spending a lot of time online with people she doesn't know and not enough time with you. The Internet can be very addicting and I'm not sure what she is doing online or who she is talking to and why. Your situation is a tough one and hard to answer because I don't know every aspect to your situation, but I can tell that you are feeling lonely but don't start to hate yourself. Let her know that what she is doing, is ruining your marriage and offer to take her to marriage counciling if she won't sacrifice the Internet to save your marriage. A marriage should be 50/50.

Answer 4

In your description of the problem your experiencing, you write,"each day when I'm really upset", are you upset every day? It may be more than she can tolerate. Someone that is really needy can be a huge turn off even if your married. Is this an ongoing problem with you being upset every day? If so, it would be a good idea to do a self evaluation on why your upset every day.

Answer 5

You have to talk to her away from the house. Go out for lunch or dinner then take a walk and be open to her. If that doesn't work wait a couple of weeks and then remove something from the computer and see if her reaction denotes an Internet addiction or she spends more time with you.

Answer 6

Read what you've written to her. You're not wrong for feeling that way. In fact, your wife is wrong for treating you that way.

Talk to her about it, and if she reacts in a bad way, or just doesn't care, suggest marriage counseling. She sounds like an Internet addict in the making if she's shunning you and ditching real life and her husband for online friends.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are just taking it man! Get some balls and don't allow her to treat you like this, do what you please and give her some room to see what she is missing, seek out someone else to talk to and stop sounding so pathetic! It sounds like she has had enough of you and you keep forcing the issue. Sorry if this sounds mean but just based on what I have read it sounds as if you need to get a backbone. Anyone who would let their wife treat them like that on a daily basis, in my opinion is asking for it. Cut it out and tell her to F off!

Answer 8

Well, turn off the electricity to the house until you too resolve your problem. The internet is very addictive. When one doesn't have anyone else to socialize with during their day than it can be a comfort to be online. She may just be lonely herself but mislead on where to find attention

Answer 9

Try sitting beside her when she is talking to her friends online and see how she responds. Explain to her that you have your needs too. Take it slowly and don't upset her, try writing a little note to her. That works for me and my husband. He is all about his texting and im, it drives me crazy. I never get a chance to actually communicate w/him unless I email him. So I write a letter and that normally works for a few weeks and then he is back at it. Give it a whirl and see what happens. Good luck.

Answer 10

Im dont think Im the best one to answer because I to stay online a lot.Im a SAHM and most of my friends are online.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut...My husband isnt lacking in the sex department.He pretty much gets it when he wants it. Might not get the laundry done oneday but he aint lacking for sex....

Answer 11

Anon, I think you may need to talk to your wife about your needs (and possibly suggest counseling). In addition, you may want to be leery about her internet use. I would not be surprised if she is caught up in an online affair with one of her internet friends, and therefore she is getting her emotional (and physical) needs met elsewhere.