Is'nt hard to forgive when someone does something so unbelievably awful? How did you do it?
2007-06-01 07:55:15 · 20 answers · asked by hollygolightly 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
forgiving can be more for you to move on sometimes instead of about how you feel about the person or actions performed...
Being mad and having anger doesn't do anything for you but cause anxiety and stress.. IF you forgive them for what they did you can let them know it was wrong and I hope you learned from it but I'm done with you and I'm moving on with my life...
what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger... Just remember everything happens for a reason (good or bad) and sometimes it take years to figure out why...
2007-06-01 08:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by Heather 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first step in forgiveness is realizing that it is done for yourself, NOT for the benefit of the person who wronged you. When you DON'T forgive you waste a huge amount of energy and your own personhood holding on to the "wrong." This doesn't hurt the OTHER person, it hurts YOU. Also, forgiveness does NOT mean that now "all is right between you and the other person" or that you are now "friends." You can decide you never want to see or interact with that person again and still forgive. It is the letting go of the anger, hurt, etc that constitutes the forgiveness. It is the moving on from the wrong. It has nothing whatsoever to do with what reaction, if any, the wrongdoer gives you. AS a matter of fact, s/he doesn't even ever have to know you have forgiven her/him for YOU to reap the rewards of forgiveness.
2007-06-01 08:01:00 · answer #2 · answered by jurydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being human, it's sometimes easy to forgive (or say you forgive them) but forgetting is another thing entirely. If it's something awful, chances are the anger and hurt will always be there whenever you look at that person. In time feelings fade and most times you can be civil with the person.
2007-06-01 08:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by Liviyaya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgiveness has a purpose, like everything else misunderstood can drive you nuts...
the first rule of forgiveness is stop doing it... if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend who beats you.. and they don't stop stop forgiving them, stop giving them chances... it's a reminder that being around that kind of person is not healthy for you...
being angry and unforgiving helps us demand that we be treated better. Or gives us the right sense of justice, by walking away from the person who is offensive...
the Karma sense... sometimes the person is out of our lives and we call it forgiveness to let it go... well we could just let it go once the threat has left us... let's say in the case of a murder.... Once the person is in prison and all has been done to produce justice... or if there is no answer or verifiable justice available... we have to chose to let it go and hope some sort of justice along the way catches up with them not knowing what that might be... We do this to keep ourselves sane so we can get on with our lives...
forgiveness like with children, so my son took my cigarettes... and occationally a few bucks along the way... we forgive to allow them to learn and start again... today my son is a very responsible adult today.. letting go of mistakes made in the growing pain years... that is when we reserve forgiveness... but don't forget we always offer the correction along the way when dealing with familly and children...
2007-06-01 08:08:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I'm not one to hold grudges only because it'll eat me alive so to speak. However, when someone does tend to burn my bridge I let them know exactly how they have made me feel and I eventually forgive them. In forgiving them I let them know that what they did will take a long time to get back to where we were or that theres no way of having back what was there. Also, when I let them know what they did still isn't okay and I'm still not happy about the issue, but to get the anger and grief off of me in order to start anew I forgive. There's just some issues that can never be resolved, but you can forgive.
2007-06-01 08:04:45 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it really depends on what was done. If the person did something in their power and knowingly did something wrong, but later regretted it. Yeah, they have a long road to earn forgiveness, if ever at all. If something was done that they didn't intend and felt remorse, I'd thinks that's easier.
But in the end, no amount of others telling you how they forgive will help. Until you are ready to forgive, that's when you should.
2007-06-01 08:02:47 · answer #6 · answered by Mr0Whatever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend is crazy about forgiveness, he doesn't forgive anyone ever. Me on the another hand, holding a grudge takes too much energy for me. But just because I forgive someone doesn't mean I want anything to do with them. I can still forgive them and be aware that a relationship is unhealthy.
2007-06-01 08:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by Vanessa B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have heard that the definition of forgiveness is: Realizing that the past cannot be any different that it was. In that sense I can forgive, but that does not mean that I forget the pain that I have been dealt. I try not to hold on to things that bother me too much, I really don't have time in my life to devote to holding onto that pain, and it takes away my energy from being a good mother and wife, and that is not fair to my family.
2007-06-01 09:00:11 · answer #8 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is not a one-time act. At Matthew 18:21, 22, Jesus said you must forgive up to 77 times. Meaning when you forgive someone you have to continue forgiving. We're imperfect and it would be difficult just to forgive and forget.
2007-06-01 08:01:34 · answer #9 · answered by damesha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am unsure if you are religious, religion can help you with forgiveness, it is however not necessary. Forgiveness can't be toughed, instruct or forced. It comes from your heart. I will suggest this; No matter what the other person(s) has done or not done, you will not live happy until you face your attacker, search for ways to forgive him/her. Forgiveness can be a beautiful thing, but it is NOT for everybody.
2007-06-01 08:01:18 · answer #10 · answered by zermenoj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋