I asked the question on how to help my brother whose wife is a crap starter to the point he'll probably end up in jail.Most responses I got were to mind my own business and I would probably end up the bad guy. Why are people so afraid to become involved when the situation is hurting someone they love? I already know its a possibility I could come out the loser but I don't care. I love my brother and I'm tired of this ungrateful witch jerking him around.
2007-06-01 07:50:11 · 21 answers · asked by darowdomo 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best way to help your brother would first of all be to pray for both of them , and be there for your brother if he wants to talk. I dont consider it butting in , I feel it is just showing concern for the people you love , but sometimes as i have learned from experience they have to just learn on their own, and you just be there when it all comes down if it does. and some people feel afraid to get involved for fear of one or the other parties getting angry with them , but at times some input from someone on the outside looking in can help. good luck with your situation , and remember when your truly trying to help it is not butting in.
2007-06-01 08:10:22 · answer #1 · answered by lilsis 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His wife is a crap starter? What the heck is a crap starter??
I wouldn't butt into a family member's marriage UNLESS they were being abused and were in real, physical danger. Other than that, it's not your business. Your brother is a big boy and needs to make his own decisions.
Crap starter???
2007-06-01 15:06:34 · answer #2 · answered by greeneyes_bjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think people are afraid that you will hurt the one you love, although they would be hurt.
Most often it is the person doing the telling that ends up getting hurt. I believe people are just advising you that it is easier to keep quiet and let the ones we love find out, rather then risk the loss of those we love. Most times they end up believing their spouses over us, even though in the back of there minds they know the truth.
Loneliness and loss is harder to handle then truth.
2007-06-01 15:01:15 · answer #3 · answered by stormey_84074 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's such a ***** then you'll have to let him find that out on his own and make his own decisions.
You dont' live under their roof, you dont' know what's in your brother's mind or heart about her.
Just be there for him if things turn sour. IF she's a true ***** and causes the marriage to fail, then it's her fault.. but if you're involved in ANY way then you may end up with all the blame and a brother who wants nothing to do with you anymore.
Ask yourself, "is it worth it???"
2007-06-01 19:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother is an adult, eventually he find out the truth about his wife. In the mean time I know you love him, but, back off. Trust me you will be the bad guy if you butt in. Show your brother support and love and wait on her to fall on her own sword. Butting in to his marriage may cause an adverse reaction, like he may really want to preserve his marriage just to prove you wrong. Go to your brother and say, "Look, Your my brother want you want is what I want. Your happiness is my only concern, I will be your brother regardless!" Or say it however you guys talk to each other..lol.
2007-06-01 15:07:52 · answer #5 · answered by kim s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let your brother know that you have an issue and that you are looking to get it resolved.
Tell him you would like to get more into the details of your issue only when he has a moment to discuss it with you.
God luck, it will work out after he listens to your conserns and what you have to say.
Remember that you would not even bother if you did not want the best for your brother.
2007-06-01 14:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is absolutely the only time to butt in. You let the abused person (or people in the case of children) know that you are safe place for them to go. And if you witness the abuse you call the police. Other than that, nothing that happens in their marriage is your business.
2007-06-01 15:18:52 · answer #7 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only be there for him but it isn't your business whether you like or agree with what is going on in their marriage. If you love your brother and it's obvious you have tried to step into his situation, you will let him know you are there if he needs you.....otherwise, back off.
2007-06-01 14:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't want to see your brother hurt.
The thing is, there's nothing you can do about it.
Anything you try to do will be counter-productive.
All you can do is hope for the best, and be there for him if he ever wakes up.
(I didn't see your other question, so have no idea what it is you did, but, in general, you can't change or control what other people do.)
2007-06-01 20:39:39 · answer #9 · answered by tehabwa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say to butt in, but I would definately advise you to tell your brother what you see happening and what you fear will be the result. After, offer him your unconditional support and let him decide what to do with his life.
2007-06-01 15:06:54 · answer #10 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋