would you rather be UNDERSTOOD or MISUNDERSTOOD?

Question

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-quJsI1o0da0TSYFAnyCDAKNt

Answer 1

Understanding is such a gray area. Only you can truly understand yourself, and to do that, you must be perfect. It can't be done. There are so many underlying meanings and concepts tied to every thought, every feeling, every opinion, that one would go crazy trying to find and understanf them all.

To be understood is to be known, vulnerable, revealed. That notion makes me uncomfortable. I want to be vaguely understood, I want the basic idea of my thoughts to come across clearly and the rest left to the imagination.

To be understood is to be ultimately simple. This, I shall never want. Of course, there are so many different definitions of understanding and I refer to several in what I said above.

Good question, best wishes.

Answer 2

Both understood and misunderstood are stated in the
past tense, so I will assume that the present is the
future relative to that past.

I would rather be understood to disagree than to be
misunderstood to agree.
Because the understood disagreement must leave
the unresolved issue open and the misunderstood
agreement must leave the unresolved issue closed.

I would prefer false misunderstanding rather than
true misunderstanding.
Because the false misunderstanding has potential
to be proven true and understandable and the true
misunderstanding has arrived at a conclusively
definitive misunderstanding.

I would prefer true understanding rather than
false understanding.
Because true understanding has the potential to
be understood and false understanding becomes
the negative articles of the other considerations.

Answer 3

I used to care about this a lot more than I do now. After 55 years, I've gotten to the point where I believe I will be misunderstood most of the time. Probably it's OK, because it's better to be unappreciated and invalidated when you are misunderstood, than when you are understood, and someone is just being nasty. It's better for you and better for the other person involved.

Answer 4

This is a really interesting question because it really makes me think about my life. In my life, there were mixed messages always around me until I got married. When I was a younger teenager, I always took so much pride in being misunderstood because I never wanted to let people know the true me. I was always afraid people would judge me or give me disturbing looks about what I did which is why I wouldn't let anyone get to know me. Anyway, I was always trying to find love even when I was younger but if I prided myself on being misunderstood, I would never be able to find the love I was always misunderstood & didn't let anyone in. Understanding is not total OVERstanding. When a person understands you, there is room for error in what you're saying, how people look at you, and perceive you, in general. I mean, I've learned when someone says I understand, it's like a brush-off to get you to leave them alone. That is why my husband heard this word and uses it all the time, I OVERSTAND. I learned that from my young actions, that a person's first impression is their last and how the world views you is a contribution to yourself. It was so true that I had an epiphany moment. Because I was judged constantly, I hated socializing and withdrew myself but when I found out how to get rid of that thinking everything was a complete turn around. So, I want to be OVERSTOOD where there is absolutely no room for error, people look at me correctly, and I receive a positive contribution! All I want to do now is be a positive example for all humankind.

Answer 5

You make a really good point, understanding in itself isnt enough, its what you choose to do with your understanding that counts, thats what actually would make a difference. So to be understood and used for it, in my opinion is far worse than even being used when you´re not understood, because the hurt goes straight to your heart. And i know that no one understands me, and i´ve always wished that at least one person would, but after reading your blog i realized that even understanding isnt enough, it has to be a mixture of caring and kindness as well.....so since i dont think im ever gonna find that, i would prefer to be misunderstood, at least it hurts a lot less that way.

Thank you for opening my eyes to seeing this idea in a whole new way, and for your interesting question. :)

Answer 6

Hmm, this is an interesting question. I honestly think that I would rather be more misunderstood than understood. If everyone understood and was understanding that would make life pretty boring. Being understood is nice but it does not cause waves, if someone wants to make a mark for themselves, it works much better if they are misunderstood. In my opinion anyway. :)

Answer 7

Wow, where do I start. . . .
Well, I'm a gemini and whether you believe how the stars were aligned when you were born actually affects your personality or not, I find it to be a beginner's step in understanding individuality and personality.
As a gemini, the NEED to COMMUNICATE and BE UNDERSTOOD is at the root of this sun sign.
And then on top of that, I'm a middle child, which means that I have spent a good majority of my life being ignored, patronized and forgotten. I was too young to play with the older kids and too old to play with the younger ones, so I was left out of things or merely forgotten and then on top of that expected to be understanding and act older than my age (a flaw I still have, sometimes I feel like I'm 200 years old rather than 26). So I had to fight to get heard, to get recognized and to be understood.
I think your on to something though, aslong as you understand yourself, does anyone else need to understand you??? I believe on some level, they do. At least enough to accept you for you, because if you allow people to misunderstand you for too long you run the risk of them jumping to conclusions about who you are and what you are and then you are left completely baffled by these assumption and wondering if anyone completely understands and knows you at all. Do you have any true friends? Or am truly alone in this world?
If you fool people long enough, you start to fool yourself and no longer do you understand who you are, but you become the role or 'mask' that you have let the world mistake you for.
So I would like to be understood, but most importantly ACCEPTED, because it doesn't really matter with people understand my believes or my personality or my actions as long as they are able to accept these as facets of what makes me a whole person.

Answer 8

I would prefer to be understood, but if you misunderstand and share it with me, that can be even more fun. I am more than a little dysfunctional and have had several personal epiphanies simply based on the fact that I misunderstood something. Sometimes misunderstanding leads to a peripheral understanding that can be even more valuable in the long run. In the short run however, it certainly saves time when I am understood.

Answer 9

To be understood is a pleasant concept, or ideal. PERHAPS. For example, for your position on an issue in conversation, is understood, it's really to "agree." In that case, I'd rather be "misunderstood" so we could explore our differences & we both might gain insights. To be totally understood, as my absolute ME? That would be impossible.To be consistently misunderstood, no thank you. Depends???

Answer 10

Misunderstood. I am by nature a guarded person. The idea of really being understood is actually quite frightening to me.