My husband beat me on wensday just because I gave his couzin (female) and brother a ride to some place and i didn't ask for his permision. He went out and got drunk. He came home very angry first he choked me and i pushed him back. Then he punched me several times in me face and stomach. He threatened to kill me and my family. The next day (yesterday) I talked to him. I want to separated and he don't want to his all being nice to me but I no longer want to be with him. Its not the first time he hits me but he had never choked or punch me before. I told him its always the same thing, today I'm thinking of telling him to leave. We have 3 kids 6,4,2. I don't want my daughters to watch all this. I know my life is in danger thats why I want out from this marrage.
2007-06-01 06:57:36 · 34 answers · asked by lupe s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get out now. He's done it before and he will do it again. Are you going to wait until the day he does something so bad you can't turn back? When people are angry they don't realize their own strength. And if he is drunk he definitely is not in a good frame of mind. I completely understand, you have kids, you will always wish for things to get better. Chances are that they will not. Sure, things will be good here and there, but when he hits you again you will he hurt more, physically and emotionally. It will scar you inside more than outside. The best thing you can do is make a safe place for your kids and yourself. What will happen if one day he tries to beat you and hurts one of the kids instead? Or if the kids see him hit you. Don't show them that this is ok. Don't ruin their future relationships. Don't tell him you are leaving. That is just putting yourself in danger. He will either try to tell you what you want to hear to make you stay or he will hit you out of anger. Get your things when he is not there and leave. Get a restraining order. Telling you to do this is easy. You actually doing it will be hard. Think about your kids.
2007-06-01 07:14:10 · answer #1 · answered by tauremini_80 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for deciding to get out.
First of all, you should NOT tell him to leave. More than likely he will not want to hear it and you will have big problems as soon as you say it.
You need a pre-plan. Call a domestic violence hotline and ask for assistance.There are state departments as well as a national hotline(1-800-799-SAFE). They will tell you all the steps to take to get out safely including protection orders and help with the kids schools(if they are in school)
File a police report if possible. If he is arrested, it can give you the extra time you need to make a clean escape.
You can visit the website http://www.ndvh.org/
(if it is safe to do so, keep in mind, it is not possible to competely clear a computer, so if he may find out, go to a library or somewhere else, than you can get to without suspicion)
Good Luck!
2007-06-01 07:07:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you leave -- Do you have a plan to get out? Do you have a safe place to go? Get your bags packed with legal documents, your kids' birth certificates, and the clothes and items you need to leave. If he hits you again, don't hesitate, dial 911 for police help.
Asking him to leave is not effective because
1) he knows where you are -- can come back to hurt you (a restraining order is just a piece of paper)
2) you will feel like a prisoner in your own home
You can survive this but have a plan to leave and never come back...
2007-06-01 08:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by idahdespida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet would be to contact a localwomans help group to help get you out of the mess. Then file for a protective restraining order against him for you and the kids protection why filing for divorce. The order will help tremendously if the police are called. There is no reason for you to have to put up with his crapso time has come to fight back andmove on for you and the kids safety as he will only get worse. Good luck
2007-06-01 07:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get some money together and some things for your children and call the police and tell them when he will be at home, so they can arrest him. If your children saw any of this happen it is considered cruelty to children. You need to be prepared so that you are not there when they come for him incase he gets angry again. You and your children do not deserve any of this.
It will be hard, but it will be better than being in fear and living with pain and regret. Even if you don't do this for yourself, do it for your children. They deserve to be in a safe home, if he hits you, he could hurt your children. He needs some serious help and you need safety for your family.
2007-06-01 07:05:40 · answer #5 · answered by Kay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Telling him to leave may be a dangerous mistake. A male who is aggressive will not easily stand down. Safer to find a place you can go where he can't find you: a motel, shelter, friend's house or family. Do not agree to meet him alone after you contact him, and do not contact him until you've spoken to an attorney and filed a report about his behavior. You need to get something on record for the safety of you and your children.
2007-06-01 07:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU SHOULD CALL THE POLICE ON YOUR HUSBAND. Do it NOW while the bruises are still visible. That way, you have proof that he hit you. Then file for restraining order against him, go to court, get legal custody of your kids, change your name & move far, far away! No husband should be beating his wife. It's not healthy for you or the kids. Don't think about him anymore, think about yourself & your kids. Even though it's happened once, I'm very sure it will happen again. Don't let it get to that point.
2007-06-01 07:14:15 · answer #7 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get off the computer RIGHT NOW and CALL THE POLICE! Tell them everything you posted here. Take your children and go to the hospital. Have them photograph and document your injuries, and have them call the police NOW.
You say it's not the first time he's hit you, but is the first he choked and punched you. He is escalating in violence, and you should take his threat to kill you very seriously.
Are you still reading this?? CALL THE POLICE RIGHT NOW!
2007-06-01 07:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
LISTEN TO ME ... I DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO READ YOUR WHOLE STORIE all I read was that your husband beat you....Leave him now and throw him in jail he is just going to keep doing it ,,, I was beat alot when I was young and I whish I would have know about domestic vilolence shelters because I would have left...... I am now older.... and and happy ...... if you dont leave now then you might not have a mother for your children later who will take care of them better than you........ you can do it trust me please.... take it from someone who knows.....do you want your son/sons growing up thinking that it is okay to abuse women? and then your daughter/daughters will think that is how a man is suppose to treat a woman,,,if you dont want to leave get a restraining order and call the police right now......
2007-06-01 10:44:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if I would ask him to leave. I would call a domestic violence hot-line instead so they could help me work out a plan to get away from him. If he reacted that badly to you taking his cousin home without permission, I would hate to see how he reacts to you telling him to leave. He may very well kill you. Or look up women's shelters in your area and go there. You could also have him arrested for domestic violence. You could then get a restraining order to keep him away from the house.
I will pray for you............
2007-06-01 07:12:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋