I have been married for 20 years to a wonderful woman. Last year I started a business had partnership problems which is leading to the disolution of the business. The financial burdan has been overwhelming we lost over 80k that we owe to the government and cant use bankrupcy to resolve because of equity in home.
On top of that we are both having our midlife change she is 42 going on 60 and I am 44 going on 30. She hates sex and I want it 24/7. I am Pagan, well more correctly Hindu, she is convinced I am burning in hell for that.
I am happy with my life, she is not and spends half the time depressed. The fighting has gotton unreal, She believes I had affair which never happened and I even proved that to her, so we changed the fight to solid money, but in her mind it is still question of my fidelity.
I woke up one day and relized how different we are, and yet I still love her with all my heart, but I feel like we both need to have a redo.
2007-06-01 06:14:11 · 11 answers · asked by Patrick S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You answered it yourself: you need to have a 'redo', that's it. If and how you work or should work on that, you will have to figure out; however, if your marriage were over (I was married for 19 years), you would not care less what would happen to it. I remember not caring about anything anymore. Until I got the strength to care about myself again and end the misery.
So, good luck to you!
2007-06-01 06:26:19 · answer #1 · answered by avechm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 years is a very long time, Have you tried counseling. Both in the midlife huh, that's gotta suck..In your shoes I would try some counseling and if that doesn't help well there are many couples that made it that long then woke up and said hey this isn't working..Be sure to really put alot of thought into your choice. Remembering that both are in the midlife crisis and that doesn't last forever. Maybe even come up with a mutual understanding. To agree to disagree. A long time to just flush away, just be very sure.. Prayers are with you, and I hope it works out for you both...
~Angel~
2007-06-01 13:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by ~Angel~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that, but when communication is out and the bickering starts and no resolution and when your at your peak and she's not,maybe you should try a trial separation. Have you even tried to start from the beginning, when you both were dating? Maybe even try counseling? Both of you need to get to know each other over again. You both got lost some where in your busy life style. Bring back what the both of you like so much. What brought you two together? Think about it.
2007-06-01 13:38:51 · answer #3 · answered by older but young at heart 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very true marriage is over when you give up i did in my marriage i got tired of the no communication and bein last on my husbands list women do need attention just like men i supported my husband in everything he was in debt also but i wasnt i didnt marry him cause of that i married him becuase i loved him so i threw in the towel and started seeking attention else where but i did not sexually cheat on my husband and the fights got bad so if you really want this marriage to work you both need to sit down talk like adults if you can we couldnt always led into a huge fight and start worken on the things that can make your marriage better best of luck to ya jewels
2007-06-01 13:35:55 · answer #4 · answered by jewels 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up to easily.
Women like to be romanced, have intimacy and feel loved... that gets them in the mood for sex. I'm hoping you know this. So maybe you just need to do a little more to get what you want. What's the big woof?
I think it can work out.
2007-06-01 13:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by tejanomoreno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want out, but you don't want to feel guilty about it. Money issues cause a lot of tension in a marriage. You might want to take it slow and see if you can put humpty dumpty back together again.
2007-06-01 13:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is so adamant about you having an affair..On the girls side.. if a man says you are cheating and accuse you of being unfaithfully.. It was actually them that did it and are the ones being unfaithful..talk to her..make it more romantic..show you are still connected with her..
2007-06-01 13:23:39 · answer #7 · answered by fantasy_dreamsoflove 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not separate for awhile. That should convince you both what you really want..........or dont want.
Another thought is to visit a singles site online. That may change your mind altogether.
2007-06-01 13:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is over when you give up. So long as you try and handle what you can and are willing to share your happiness its not over.
2007-06-01 13:47:31 · answer #9 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey i know . Why don't you guys have a redo
2007-06-01 13:23:53 · answer #10 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋