my mother in law has sworn to make my life a living hell.......just because of her only son is this normal?

Question

my partner and i live together , he is the only son and lives with his mother as well who is a widow.
since i came into that house ,she never handled me well like a "human being " which she even told me straight on my face.

My partner has a history of psychological problems and he has been adviced many times to leave that house and go far away from her but for the love of his mother he never did that.

every relationship he has ever had, she made sure that it could not last.

sometime she even insults my partner in my presence and says to him to most unspeakable things a mother could say to her child.

she said to me that her greatest wish is that her son stays single with no family and children for the rest of his life just like he made her stay single when her husband died.
for the sake of my partner i say nothing to her even as he watches her insult me .

Is this really normal? am i too quiet ?
someone help me please

Answer 1

Your partners mother seems extremely over protective ... but i mean EXTREMELY over protective. She wants to know her only loved one, her son, is safe.

As is clear you love your partner and do not give up on him just because of his mother. Albeit what she is doing is very unfair on you and her son, you need to understand that he is all she has left in her life.

You are certainly not too quiet, it would be very hard for anybody to make a conversation with such a woman as described, but i believe the only way to sort this is to make her like you. Whatever you do do not get into an argument. Even if at times it means you apologising for nothing you're gonna have to do it. Try and impress her by showing what a good person you are. Once she sees that the person that wants her son to move away will take good care of him, although not happy, she will realise that he is safe and will enjoy his life.

I really hope that all of this sorts itself out for you and wish you the best of luck!

Answer 2

Oh man.. when the moment I said I do it was as if the devil handed my mother in law a golden pitchfork to zap me in the ars..If he has a history of psychological problems.. you know were the root is from.. odiously she has them too.. If you jump in will make it worse.. maybe he will flip if you snap at HIS mom..Don't be so sure that if you speak up that you can change a thing..may make it worse.. I would leave the situation sweet.. trying to love someone and really loving them are two diffent things..This is not normal. some people are just mean and hurtful say the most unspeakable things.. if you were to marry this guy.. histroy repeats its self.. how does he treat his mom because in the long run that is how he will treat you... It may hurt to leave but in the long run you will be so much better off.. Please get out of this now..everyone needs someone to love them..but do your self the favor and try not to prove the mother wrong..I am going to love him no matter what you do... ext...please look closer at this situation then you are.. GET OUT of it.. do not give in.. find someone els.. egads..

Answer 3

hang on in there, my mother in law wasnt as bad as that but i feel that she resented me for years because she thought that i had taken her only son away from her. she once phoned me at work and told me that the worst thing he had ever done was to marry me. she would tell me what he had bought me for birthdays and christmas before i had even received the present. just to prove some point. yet to outsiders she would say how wonderful i was. we stayed together as a couple for 22 years and over the years she got better, because i was a devoted wife. now we have no problem with each other even though i am not with her baby boy any more. good luck

Answer 4

Absolutely. :) Jenna Jameson did an interview during her special on E! a few years back where she talked about living her every day life. It's a normal life for them once they get out of work. :) It may be a little more difficult for some of them to have relationships and whatnot, but most pornstars are living very happy lives with families.

Answer 5

As I can see the one with psychological issues is the crazy mother. She doesn't love her son, she just want to make his life impossible because she didn't have the life she wanted and now she wants her son to be the same.

I know that he loves his mother but as I can see she doesn't care enough about his happiness and he has to grow up and take his own way and live his own life.
Do not put him against his mother, just tell him how you feel about it and it would be good if the crazy mom gets some counceling. And don't forget to respect the crazy mom because she is HIS mother and he loves her anyways.

Answer 6

This is sad, but with a simple solution.
He was BORN into this problem, but so are a lot of children born into dysfunctional families. Learning to balance your parents and your independent life with a spouse is something a well balanced person would have learned to do by now.
In other words, he is not growing a backbone about it.
But you on the other hand, have a spine. Use it to stand up and LEAVE. This is not your problem to fix, simply because you cant make him. If he does not do it, consider yourselves stuck till she passes away. Now HE'S her son, so he's really stuck. But why are you still hanging around?

Answer 7

This is not a normal situation and this mother and son really need some help. You are being too quiet. You and your partner need to have a serious talk and you need to be clear to him about how you feel. It is not okay for the abuse his mother is giving you or him. If he is unwilling to listen or be supportive to you, you might need to decide is this is the life you want to have. It might be time to move on. You deserve better. Don't settle for less.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, you are dealing with a woman who has totally and completely dominated and controlled her son from birth.
That the fact that she can ridicule in him public and he takes it; shows that he has not learned how to stand up to her. His mental problems compound the problem, because he probably has very low self-esteem and feels his mother is right when she says nasty things about him.

The thought of any woman loving and caring for her son drives her to continue to mentally abuse her son. You have a battle on your hands and it's a battle you may never win. I know you love him, but you have to think about yourself and your own sanity.

If you continue to stay there, you will eventully speak your mind about the situation and that may back fire on you. He could go to her side and be angry at you for speaking your mind. HIS MOTHER'S CONTROL IS VEY POWERFUL!! and you can't save him. He has to save himself.

Move out of the house and find some piece of mind.

Good Luck

Answer 9

It doesn't matter if it's normal or you are too quite, it only matter if this is right for you. Believe me, it's not right. You need to leave this situation and get the drama out of your life. He is with his mother, doesn't want to leave or would have by now. This will never get better only worse, she hates you and will always hate you no matter what you say. No one needs this in their life, why in the world are you putting up with it?

You seem to have some type of self esteem issues or you would never have move in to begin with. There are plenty of good guys out there looking for a great woman like you. Go get one of them and your life will be so much better.

Answer 10

wow that's bad. You should talk to your partner but the only one he can leave is if he wants to leave. there must be something more since he is willing to put up with everything and not do anything about it. I would talk to him, explain how much you love him and don't want to see if hurt. ask him if he thinks that a Small break would work. maybe a vacation just you and him would allow him to see things don't have to be as bad and would open up the possibility to moving out.