the boyfriend says he understands the situation and that I was weak. But that he can't trust me not to get in that situation again. And that I always do things without thinking.
Fair? Unfair?
2007-06-01 04:58:00 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I know I've got problems. Trying to work through it. In a foreign country away from my family. You don't like my questions, don't ******* answer them.
2007-06-01 05:08:48 · update #1
it amazes me that people know exactly how rape victims have to cope with rape.
Because every woman is the same right?
You want the details, you got it. Look for it.
2007-06-01 05:25:49 · update #2
I actually have a very close guy friend that I told this to. He said that it's not my fault, go to the doctor, and report my neighbor.
His reassurance is pulling me through.
Maybe somewhere down the road. . .
We've been friends for 8 years.
Anyway, if nothing else it's nice to have him around to support me.
2007-06-01 05:40:52 · update #3
i feel for you.. your boyfriend should help you and be by your side to get you through this.. instead he have spoken such things... doesnt it hurts ?
currently you need someone there for you... and whose there is the one that really cares.. if you boyfriend is not.. then you gotta let him go.. cause he is not the one for you.. you are the one that can truely feel that...
few thing to ask.. you got drunk ? how ? wheres your friends ? why is your boyfriend not with you ?
take other good advice... get the person who rape you to jail.. this kinda bast*rds needs to be punish.. so there will not be more cases..
if you really love your guy and u know how much he loves u.. den try not to get drunk again ya ?
i mean in order to have trust for one another.. we also must be others in mind too... esp close ones..
may you get through this.. hugss...
2007-06-01 07:40:01 · answer #1 · answered by Daydream 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
(Boggle!)
Am I missing some backstory here? You got raped, and this person is telling you you were 'weak' and he can't trust you anymore??
Does this guy owe you a large amount of money, or vice versa? Is there some non-obvious reason why this dreadful idiot is not rolling on the ground clutching his nuts and moaning?
Apologies for the blast of questions, but something is clearly wrong with reality and justice in that area. See - what's SUPPOSED to happen is that boyfriend gets extremely cross, gives you some reassurances before going off and turning the rapist into a gooey mess. Then he comes back and comforts you in every conceivable way until you feel better. Then you live happily ever after etc.
There's obviously some sort of data corruption problem going on, and I advise you to reboot your life. Dump the Brainless Wonder, and go and find the human equivalent of a Great Dane - big, strong, kind and gentle. Tell him to a) stomp rapist, and b) stomp boyfriend. Then set about reducing rapist's reputation to shreds. You'll find things look much brighter.
CD
2007-06-01 05:37:40 · answer #2 · answered by Super Atheist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well based on what you said a CCTV would not have helped anyway since he had a mask on. But, you should know the best thing to do would be to go immediately to a hospital so they can collect DNA, which would be much better then a CCTV camera. Then they could put that in a database, or even check that database and see if the person is already on record. But, if you already showered and you waited, the longer you wait the more you let that guy get away with it. I hope it is not too late, but if you really want to take back your power… report it!
2016-04-01 09:24:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't care what situation you where in or if you were thinking or not. Nobody deserves to get raped. In no way shape or form was it your fault. I am so sorry girl! How selfish and inconsiderate for your boyfriend to say these words to you. If it were me I would move on and find someone else out there that can be more compassionate. You are better than that to take his crap.
2007-06-01 05:04:04 · answer #4 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's totally unfair. I understand his concern for you and not to want you to get hurt again. I think you should talk to him an assure him it was not something you consented to and not a situation you are looking for again. Talk to him about this becuz just like you have feelings of helplessness so does he for not protecting you. It's a total a guy thing.
If he is not open to talking to you about this than let him go, becuz he should be willing to hear your pain and be a friend (if anything he should be your friend at this time).
Good Luck.
2007-06-01 05:04:05 · answer #5 · answered by ☆ Heavenly ☆ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a party freak, not to sound mean but you obviously like to drink and can't control and hold your liquor. You need to straighten out you priorities and fix them ASAP. You have already lost your trust with your boyfriend. You need to contact the police to the person who has raped you. It is nice that your bf has stayed by your side to comfort and be there emotionally for you. Good luck with this.
2007-06-01 05:10:32 · answer #6 · answered by Jamezy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is blaming this on you.... then you should drop him like a bad habit... No person ( not just girls ) deserves to be over powered and raped whether they are drunk or sober.... Now is the time he should be here for you!!!!! Maybe next time be a little more cautious of how much you drink and who your with, but Tell your boyfriend that if he cant be here for you then you will find someone who is!!! :o) Good luck sweetie and Im sorry it happened to you!! God Bless.... E-mail me if you wanna chat!!
2007-06-01 05:03:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault for what happened to you. And I don't think it was very smart of you to get yourself in that situation where you can get drunk and things like that can happen. But you know I'm sure he's just trying to protect you from getting in the same situation again.
2007-06-01 05:03:41 · answer #8 · answered by Molly G 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
1. If you were raped, press charges. Contact the police and your local rape crisis counseling center.
2. Since you know that you will not be in control when you drink, do the smart thing and don't drink in public anymore.
3. If you were raped and don't wish to be raped again... drop the @sshole.
2007-06-01 05:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by scruffycat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
all very conditional. there aren't enough facts to say he was fair or unfair.
who were you drinking with? why did you get drunk --- if you didn't know the people you were drinking with well... or if you knew that your drinking buddy had feelings for you? and where was the bf during this time?
hopefully he truly was understanding and i too would question your choices and how you could put yourself in this situation.
more importantly you should check your health and file a report.
2007-06-01 05:03:55 · answer #10 · answered by tejanomoreno 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋