she practically lives in squallor.She has had bouts of deprssion.Could this still be a sign of depression.She sleeps all day;doesn't bathe regulary.I tell her she could face getting kicked out;if the owner ever saw the place.I talking total pigs sty.Advice.
2007-06-01 04:45:12 · 8 answers · asked by birdwings_65 2 in Home & Garden ➔ Cleaning & Laundry
Very big sign of depression. Try helping clean up a little bit since sometimes that can feed the depression. Try to get her to do something that makes her happy without spending too much money
2007-06-01 04:53:45 · answer #1 · answered by buttrfly52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a sign of depression. Don't ridicule her. Support her, let her talk it out. Help her to straighten things up, sometimes a mess can get so out of control that you don't know where to start, and a days' job can barely leave a dent. You are left feeling like "Why bother?" or "I can't keep up" or "It is not in me", a lot of negativity envelopes you. Plan an 'operation clean sweep', get family/friends to help set things straight again. You may get some resistance, so assure her that her belongings would not be thrown out without permission. Have a little party to celebrate a new beginning. Build her up. Be positive when speaking with her. Misery likes company, but that kind of company will only make things worse.
Get her out of the house more. Get her into the habit of going for a walk a couple times a week with you. Sunlight is one of the best ways to fight depression. A regular outing, something expected, can give her something to look forward to again. Help her to work on her health.
If she has suffered with depression for a long time, or she doesn't seem to improve, suggest she talk to her doctor or a counsellor for help.
2007-06-01 05:13:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely a sign of depression. You should encourage your friend to seek help. I typically am not a fan of psychiatry / psychology (Ibelieve the power is within us all to cure ourselves, we just have to want to do it), but it sounds as if your friends issues are affecting her physical wellbeing (bacteria and germs from filth, etc.).
I have seen extreme slobbiness, but when you threw in sleeping all day and such I think it goes beyond just being lazy.
After reviewing the other answers, I would NOT recommend helping her clean yourself, not until she asks you. This will be a sign that she recognizes the problem and wants to take steps to correct it. If you just go in and clean, the problem is deterred, not solved.
2007-06-01 05:01:04 · answer #3 · answered by catsovermen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely say that this is some form of depression. I would urge her to seek help from her regular physician, a referred counselor or support group. I myself suffer from depression and medication can be experimented with until something is found that helps. There is help! Depression is a debilitating disease and should not be treated lightly.
Please note that this does also affect the children ie. not enough attention; possibly even neglect; and they blame themselves for making Mommy unhappy.
Be as supportive as you can with this friend/person and do not give up!
Anna
2007-06-01 05:01:55 · answer #4 · answered by annabanana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I´ll speak from personal experience.
I know this situation because I go through the same thing myself.
It is embarassing for me, and I HATE it, but that is the way it is. I also go through depressive times, and sometimes I don´t realise I am in a "down" again until I look around me and realise that although I´ve been noticing the mess and planning to deal with it, it hasn´t gotten anywhere for days, or weeks. This is also the case at the moment. I really, really hate it, and then I start hating myself for not being able to just DO anything. But when it has gotten this far, I am completely unable to deal with it. It is completely overwhelming. Now I´m back on my way "up" again, thank goodness. My husband finds this very very frustrating, but also has given up on nagging etc. because it just doesn´t help. For a whole week, I think even 2, he came home late but still cleaned up the kitchen for me at almost midnight, while I lied in bed exhausted, sometimes crying. Really, having him just help that bit was great because I knew he was supporting me without making me feel bad about it. I needed that.
Now I´m dong better again, back to laundry, cooking, the kitchen is better, but it is not at all perfect. I take medication to help (herbal, but strong). This is necessary to get me back to the state where I can ACT.
It took me a long time to figure out that this was depression, not just being lazy, as people kept saying. I think that there is also an element of ADS mixed in, which seems to pop up more just at these times. If I could change the situation, I would, but it is impossible. Now I try my best to accept it, remind myself that I´m actually doing an OK job considering the circumstances, and just get on with my life.
I´ve told you all this to give you an insight on how this person might be thinking. You haven´t mentioned your relationship to her, but if it is possible, get help for her. If she has taken medication in the past, get her back on it. At the moment she probably won´t be able to deal with all of it, so if you want to help her, you could make a cleaning plan with her, and then help her get through it. I mean minimal, but regular.
Another option would be to encourage her ( or take her out) to do excersice outside every day - this helps depression even more than meds, but she won´t be able get out by herself. This really does help, if you could get her out every (or almost) day for 2 or 3 weeks, it could help turn her around.
The most frustrating thing about all this is that improvement is always so slow - much slower than one has patience for, even the "patient" herself. Getting her into a self-help group would also be great - she needs support.
I´m not trying to say that you have to take over everything for her and organise her life, etc. But if you could help her in even one of these ways to get her back "up" she will probably be very thankful. Even just accompanying her on the first trip to the doctor´s would be a help. Encourage her and let her know that you don´t think she´s BAD - help her still see the good sides of herself and to concentrate on those.
You are always welcome to email me if you want. You could also let her email me too. I know what she is going through, and I know that it DOES get better again. Give her hope.
Thanks for caring about her enough to ask for advice!
All the best. :-)
2007-06-01 07:47:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, especially the portion where she sleeps all day. That is a very typical sign of depression (sleeping too much).
2007-06-01 04:49:31 · answer #6 · answered by devilishblueyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know that you can do anything. it's kind of up to the individual to recognize the problem. if you start helping clean up and all that, well you get into that "enabler" area...poor girl. that's sad.
2007-06-01 04:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wondered why my friends call me that! Is that an insult?
2007-06-01 06:34:31 · answer #8 · answered by Kri55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋