After two years of being together,he explains it's not as when we first met. everytime i try to initiate sexual intercourse he claims to be tired or not in the mood. He also says, he's getting old. When i ask if there's someone else, he reasures me that's not the case and that he's just tired or he has moods. it makes me feel that he's borde of me in a sexual way or perhaps he is seeing someone on the side. but i am not sure, cos it's possible that i am parronoid too, as i am also a sensitive person. Otherwise, he's 38 and i am 31, we just got married and the love is definitely still there between us, so any advice from you lovely people out there?
2007-06-01 04:16:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have read that this sort of slow down in a man's drive may be a sign of a hormone problem or some other physical problem. For another possibility, I know that many women seem to reduce their desire after marriage. Maybe some men do too. Of course, your third option of infidelity may be true, but I hope not.
2007-06-01 04:22:05 · answer #1 · answered by aerman01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he seem to you like a cheating person? If you really have doubts I'm not sure your in a perfect relationship with him. He may say he has moods but don't we all?
Ask yourself: is sex so important to you? Is it to him? Is your relationship going ok apart from that problem? It might just be a faze he's going through...
Don't accuse him of having an affair unless you have proof, or that could be the end of a very short marriage - over a misunderstanding.
Maybe he's realised what big responsibilities you have when you get married. Perhaps he's still ajusting to this new way of life.
Good luck!!
2007-06-01 11:28:26 · answer #2 · answered by sugar and spice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After being married for over 19 years, I can tell you from personal experience that your sex life, like all the rest of your life, has it's ups and downs. There will be times when you can't get enough, and then there will be times that you just can't deal with it, because there's just too much going on. Maybe the next time you want to initiate something, rather than thinking sex, think intimacy. I think as we've been in relationships longer, we start to think that every touch means "lets go to bed," and that's not necessarily the case. Maybe offer to give him a backrub--with no strings attached, and see what happens.
P.S. Remind him that 38 is no where near old....
2007-06-01 11:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I am in exactly the same boat, my partner is 43 and i am 34 he says he is tired and the fact that he is over weight doesnt help him, however if i offered him a ******** every day he would jump at it. I dont know if your other half is cheating just as i dont know if my other half is cheating. Luckily for you you know the love is still there, for me my other half just complains about me constantly about the way i look about the way i am.
I wish i could give you an answer but i know there isnt one it drives me crazy every time he rejects me i am beginning to feel so horrible about myself.
So Sorry i was supposed to be giving advice instead of ranting on about m problem, just wanted you toknow its probably more common than you think but it hurts
2007-06-04 17:13:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of couples go through dry spells. Sometimes the sex is frequent, while other times it lags. The key is to keep tings fresh. Try different times of the day, different positions, adult toys (not every time, but occasionally), be passionate, just take each other. If there is variety things can spice up. Guys also sometimes need time to "recharge". It can be difficult to send out the same frequency the more activity there is. My wife tells me I have one of the highest sex drives she has ever seen, but there are times I know she wants to that i would just rather sleep. So it is likely that he is tired. Just continue to be there for him, talk to him and ask if there si anything you can do.
2007-06-01 12:04:05 · answer #5 · answered by sportsfanstl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would check his meter! He may be tired..but you just got married and you are 7 years younger...it was good when you were dating and now it is tiresome since you got married.....I guess he is saying been there done that. May be needs a back rub,use some scented oils and warm bath or shower,some wine maybe,a good dinner something he likes.Can you cook,ask him to tell you what is really wrong....do not urgue. What do you wear to bed? Do you look the same,you know what ever it took to get him ,will take that much and more to keep him interested...
2007-06-01 11:34:33 · answer #6 · answered by God is love. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it's easy to worry, but if you feel confident that the love is still there then I would just give it time. I love my husband more than anything, but I lost my sex drive for a year after we had our little girl. Hormones, I guess. Also, stress from a job or fatigue can really slow down a sex drive. My husband accused me of cheating or not loving him anymore constantly, which just made me feel worse. Try to be understanding, but don't jump to conclusions. Good luck!
2007-06-01 11:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by flowerbug26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is not cheating hunny, at the beginning of a new relationship there is always a honeymoon period and yes us women would like it to go on forever but unfortunately it doesn't. 2 to 3 times a month is normal but then what is, some couples might be at it everyday whereas some couples might only make love 2 - 3 times a year. my husband and i may only make love maybe once a month or everyother month it doesn't mean he is bored of me or that he is cheating, it's just that one of us is too tired. we still love each other to bits. on a serious note though if you are unhappy about it try and talk to him about it but in a not to direct way as some men can feel quite intimated or embarressed about it, otherthan that...it might be something you are going to have to get used to but don't for one minute start to analyse your marriage...you know he loves you, you're just not honeymooning anymore.
2007-06-01 11:28:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop forcing him or making him feel pressurised......as that will turn him off straight away from your advances...
It sounds to me like there is more to the story than he is currently letting you on....which whilst upsetting for you, given you are married and in love with him....must be a big deal to him not to tell you.....so give him time, be supportive, and hopefully nature will take its course in the right way for you....
Be careful.....implying a lack of sexual get up and go to you means he has something on the side is not very trusting and has probably upset him a great deal.....if you are right, then fair play to you, but if it is just a probing accusation then I think you are better keeping your thoughts to yourself!
Good luck.....
2007-06-01 11:22:10 · answer #9 · answered by Robbo31 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could be attaching too much importance to the sexual aspects of the relationship. What else is going as a very positive plus in the relationship?
Believe him, until you have adequate proof to think other-wise.
2007-06-02 01:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by skeetejacquelinelightersnumber7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋