My husband is constantly checking the computer and my myspace and going to every one I knows pages to see what I leave them for a comment.... and just in general whose page I look at.... I do have a lot of guy friends but I have never cheated and never considered cheating and never will cheat on him... I really do love him with all my heart and I wouldn't want to do anything to compromise our relationship.... but all my life I have had more guy friends than girl friends... I have even remained friends with a couple of my ex boyfriends... I see how the ex boyfriends could be a problem... because I realize that I wouldn't want him talkin to his ex... so I have slowly cut that out....He also checks my phone bill to see any numbers he doesn't know and where I made calls from... like what city and so forth... I'm talking to my friends and yea some of them happen to be guys... BUT everyone knows I'm HAPPILY married... is he trying to control me??? Or just start trouble??
2007-06-01 04:16:46 · 16 answers · asked by luvsick143 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The whole reason I have myspace is to kinda check up on old friend... and just see how they are... and where they are in life... have they got married... had any kids... ect. there is a couple people I know that have moved to different states and I would like to talk to them with out the long distance charge on my phone... which again he looks at... and on a few occasions if he sees a number he doesn't know he calls them and tells them to never talk to me again... I don't like hangin out with girls I think they are fake... I have been like this since the day we met... so nothing is new.... I don't have anything to hide... it just drives me nuts cause he is always askin me... or tellin me oh... you called so and so from this city and i'm like whats the problem??? He also constantly counts how many times I talk to my mom compared to how many times I talk to him...
2007-06-01 04:17:05 · update #1
We don't have ANY couple friends because he finds something about everybody that he doesn't like.... I have found 1 of ALL my friends that he hasn't found anything bad to say about... and she happens to live 3 hours away... wat good that is... I can't even hang out with her... we can't make couple friends because we have a 2 year old... and 2 year olds will be 2 year olds and be bad sometimes... so he hates goin places because our son might scream.... or be bad... plus we are a young couple and have a kid i'm 21 hes 24 and we have a 2 year old... how are we sposed to find couples that are "cool enough" for him with a kid... and he will not put the kid in daycare because every daycare will beat him when he crys... (I'm a stay at home mom
2007-06-01 04:17:26 · update #2
neither, he doesn't trust you
get rid of the exs and just talk to friends
if you have nothing to hide don't worry
but you are giving him reason to be worried
2007-06-01 04:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by ann s 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion he just seems like he has a very low self esteem and is unsure about his self and the relationship right now. You can't get him to stop checking up on your myspace page and if you ask him to it will probably make him more suspicious and angry. I think if he keeps checking it and seeing that you aren't doing anything wrong that it will slowly show him that you are in the relationship for the long run. Maybe he's been burned by a cheating girl before and he's just waiting for it to happen again. Re-assure, re-assure, re-assure, if this he is the one you want to be with. Are pictures of the two of you on your page?? that would help I would think. As far as making 'couple' friends, that's not always an option. Maybe you could have your girlfriends come over for a girls night out at your house just to show him that your intentions are nothing but honest and that you just need some girl time. Tell him honestly how you feel, that you love him and the baby but that you miss your 'girl' time. If talking to guys makes him really irate, maybe you could lay off doing that for a while, they are just friends after all and sometimes not worth the trouble you get for keeping them. I hope this all made sense. I think it all boils down to his self esteem issues and hopefully with time he will see you as the faithful sweet loving woman that you are!
2007-06-01 04:25:49 · answer #2 · answered by laceylovespink 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your husband's behavior is very controlling and not healthy for either one of you. It's actually a form of emotional abuse. You both need to go to a counselor together and figure out why he's so insecure and how you can help him feel less so without him policing your life. He needs to feel loved and cared for, but that doesn't mean it's right to act as he's doing.
It's natural for you to want to have friendships with other people. I even understand the friends tending to be men. I'm the same way. Most women don't connect on the same level that men do. That doesn't mean you want anything more than friendship, you just relate better.
Please seek counseling for both of you now. If you don't it's most likely that the controlling behavior and jealousy will only get worse over time.
2007-06-01 04:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by AngelBleu 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You missed the point, you have eachother now if you need more then this then you both are headed for trouble. It is time to grow up! Friends are something you worry about having when you're in high school... Get a job even if it's part time you will meet people and possibly new friends... You would have less choas on your mind as well... He sees something you don't and the both of you have a long way to go and now is the time to work these things out before it's too late... If he is controlling you'll know it and you won't have to ask....
2007-06-01 04:33:59 · answer #4 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You both sound very immature. You are too young to be a stay at home mom. Not every daycare beats the kid. Something tells me he told you that so you would stay home. Put the kid in Daycare and get a job or go to school. You have too much time on your hands.
2007-06-01 04:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok ok, so you didnt like my previous answer. The answers really arent going to be much different from the last post to this one.
There's no need for you to be talking to ex-boyfriends PERIOD!!!!!!!! I do not blame your husband for checking your myspace comments, or phone records. on Myspace, its not all public view, so he isnt really getting all your messages, since you can just delete anything in an inbox............... I really wouldnt trust you either, unless you ditched myspace, then I'd be able to trust the fact that you arent going behind his back with other guys.
Its iffy. He could be trying to control you, but you're also doing things that just arent suitable for marriage, such as using the internet to chat with old b/f's. Thats just not what marriage is about.
I think he doesnt trust you, and you're going to have to earn that Trust back, and if he's still controlling you, then why are you married to him?
2007-06-01 04:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by mannasox 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's checking out who you are talking to because your behavior leads him to believe you are cheating on him. I am not saying he is justified, but he's the man you chose to marry, so you have to deal with that. I expect that if you continue to screw around with MySpace and talk with ex-boyfriends on the phone or in person, your marriage is going to collapse, and you will both be to blame.
You got married pretty young. I think it is time to grow up and live for your family, not your high school days.
2007-06-01 06:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not sound like stalking.
My husband and I look at one anothers accounts and live our life like open books.
I do not talk to ex's out of respect for my hubby and he does the same for me. The friends of the opposite sex email both of us and we have joint friends.
How do you expect your hubby to feel? I would feel uneasy. How would you feel if he was talking to ex girlfriends and other woman.
I to had a lot of guy friends. They told me when I married they would contact both of us out of respect for my hubby. They told me [I had about 5 male friends at the time] that they would not like their wives/girlfriends [most were single at the time] talking to other men so we would cut a lot of contact. That is from mens point of views there. A lot of them told me that my marriage is more important, nothing should jepordize it.
You are married, put your husbands feeling 1st. Tell your husband that you want friends, that you will would appreciate making some friends that are couple but he has to not pick them apart etc.
You can work this out but if you keep doing what you are doing I bet there will be trouble. What is more important here? Your decision.
2007-06-01 05:04:51 · answer #8 · answered by Ann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, omg, please, this is a very serious situation your in, He is being very controlling, that is not how a marriage works!!! It's great that your a stay at home Mom, wonderful, but you also need time for you too, or your going to be burned out. Your husband, in plain terms is a possesive person, trust is a huge issue to him obviously, he needs some counselling to help him over this issue. You need to get out too, to recharge your batteries, meet new people etc... And No, Daycares cannot do this, beating of children, OMG, Please even a part time job will help you meet other people, have some down time away from the little one. I wish you all the best
2007-06-01 04:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by Cindybear 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
People generally judge others by their own morals and principles. Have you checked his phone bill, work schedule, mileage on his car, etc.? That would probably be a wise thing for you to do. This happened to me in my last marriage and it turned out that he had had several affairs during our marriage. I even took a polygraph test to prove to him how loyal I was to him and that I'd never run around on him, and he still kept accusing and or suspecting me of things I wasn't doing. Check it out. If you don't know how, go to the internet and look it up.
2007-06-01 04:29:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is deeply insecure and seems to be trying to isolate you from the people you care about. My suggestion is that the two of you see a marriage counselor together ASAP. Insecurities and controlling behavior can lead to other more dangerous obsessions, and with a child present in the relationship, you don't want to risk this getting any worse.
2007-06-01 04:26:36 · answer #11 · answered by Rachel-Pit Police-DSMG 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋