My husband is constantly checking the computer and my myspace and going to every one I knows pages to see what I leave them for a comment.... and just in general whose page I look at.... I do have a lot of guy friends but I have never cheated and never considered cheating and never will cheat on him... I really do love him with all my heart and I wouldn't want to do anything to compromise our relationship.... but all my life I have had more guy friends than girl friends... I have even remained friends with a couple of my ex boyfriends... I see how the ex boyfriends could be a problem... because I realize that I wouldn't want him talkin to his ex... so I have slowly cut that out....He also checks my phone bill to see any numbers he doesn't know and where I made calls from... like what city and so forth... I'm talking to my friends and yea some of them happen to be guys... BUT everyone knows I'm HAPPILY married... is he trying to control me??? Or just start trouble??
2007-06-01 03:48:21 · 26 answers · asked by luvsick143 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The whole reason I have myspace is to kinda check up on old friend... and just see how they are... and where they are in life... have they got married... had any kids... ect. there is a couple people I know that have moved to different states and I would like to talk to them with out the long distance charge on my phone... which again he looks at... and on a few occasions if he sees a number he doesn't know he calls them and tells them to never talk to me again... I don't like hangin out with girls I think they are fake... I have been like this since the day we met... so nothing is new.... I don't have anything to hide... it just drives me nuts cause he is always askin me... or tellin me oh... you called so and so from this city and i'm like whats the problem??? He also constantly counts how many times I talk to my mom compared to how many times I talk to him...
2007-06-01 03:57:52 · update #1
We don't have ANY couple friends because he finds something about everybody that he doesn't like.... I have found 1 of ALL my friends that he hasn't found anything bad to say about... and she happens to live 3 hours away... wat good that is... I can't even hang out with her... we can't make couple friends because we have a 2 year old... and 2 year olds will be 2 year olds and be bad sometimes... so he hates goin places because our son might scream.... or be bad... plus we are a young couple and have a kid i'm 21 hes 24 and we have a 2 year old... how are we sposed to find couples that are "cool enough" for him with a kid... and he will not put the kid in daycare because every daycare will beat him when he crys... (I'm a stay at home mom)
2007-06-01 04:14:29 · update #2
He can only be said to be "controlling" you if he attempts to control you, to change what you are doing in some way. What he's doing sounds more like "spying" on you. My wife used to spy on me all the time, but I didn't care because I didn't have anything to hide, and I still don't. I don't see why it matters to you in the least, because it's him, not you, who is wasting time. Think of it as his hobby, lol. Help him out instead of fighting him. When you post something, tell him. When you get home, toss him your cell, smile, and say, "I made a bunch of calls today, so you better get started checking them out."
2007-06-01 03:59:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion he just seems like he has a very low self esteem and is unsure about his self and the relationship right now. You can't get him to stop checking up on your myspace page and if you ask him to it will probably make him more suspicious and angry. I think if he keeps checking it and seeing that you aren't doing anything wrong that it will slowly show him that you are in the relationship for the long run. Maybe he's been burned by a cheating girl before and he's just waiting for it to happen again. Re-assure, re-assure, re-assure, if this he is the one you want to be with. Are pictures of the two of you on your page?? that would help I would think. As far as making 'couple' friends, that's not always an option. Maybe you could have your girlfriends come over for a girls night out at your house just to show him that your intentions are nothing but honest and that you just need some girl time. Tell him honestly how you feel, that you love him and the baby but that you miss your 'girl' time. If talking to guys makes him really irate, maybe you could lay off doing that for a while, they are just friends after all and sometimes not worth the trouble you get for keeping them. I hope this all made sense. I think it all boils down to his self esteem issues and hopefully with time he will see you as the faithful sweet loving woman that you are!
2016-04-01 09:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its so much about Controlling or Stalking, but its more about Trust and his male Insecurity. He does not trust you because he is insecure and you would know why or what makes him feel so insecure. Trust between couples is very important in a marriage. Ask your husband why he feels so insecure about your relationship that makes him distrust you. Tell him his behavior is only driving you away from him then close to him. Tell him you are truly committed and want to make things work, but you also need some of your own space and he is suffocating you. Tell him if this continues you don't see a happy future together with him. When you talk to him don't sound like you are blaming him. Be calm and speak in a soft but firm voice, don't scream or be loud. And during your conversation assure him that you love him. Suggest marriage counseling to him. He may decline it, but tell him you want this relationship to function and he needs to make an effort too. To show you really want this relationship to work, cancel your myspace account and just use regular email account to email friends and family. Myspace has a bad reputation to begin with, so why make life more difficult for yourself by having an account on there, think about it.
2007-06-01 04:17:25 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hard to say, what was his past like? His families past? Relationships? Whether his behavior is right or wrong, its more of a curiosity of why he's doing it.
Could be lack of security as well.
Could be just the fact that he is your husband and other guys should be far from your mind, so why are their other guys always around?
You may not like this part but if your husband is someone that you actually care about, take a break from all the guys huh? Sounds like he isn't hanging with all his ex girlfriends... Did that strike a chord? One you may not want to admit? Then drop the guys. You are keeping your field open and making excuses. But, that's my opinion. I can see one, two MAYBE but a myspace full of guys? Ex boyfriends? Nah, you still playing and your husband has had it. If you still want him, then drop the male meat market, else do him a favor and divorce him so he can recover. Let me guess, you are 20-23?
If older, better think about it. Its too immature.
If one, maybe two guys that he felt comfortable with and then was like this, ya, obsessive and controlling but most guys would feel invaded with what you describe.
2007-06-01 04:06:58 · answer #4 · answered by avengress 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is insecure, but, with you still having "guy" friends after getting married, i can understand it. When you get married, you need to focus on your husband, not guy friends. NO ONE is secure with that. How would you like it if he had as many girl friends that HE talked to? As for Ex's, well, unless you have kids with them, ex's are history. You BOTH need to sit down and discus what makes you feel this way. If you/him truly loved the other, you would not put friends of the opposite sex over your marriage happiness. Find Couple friends, that is what most normal married people do. And, from a guys point of view, It does not matter if you are happily married, to them, if your still talking to them, they have a chance to get into your pants.
2007-06-01 03:55:13 · answer #5 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are giving him reason to do these things and can't even see it you are ready to blame him for things you have pushed him to do! You are making him feel insecure and you are being unreasonally ignorant! You could really make things worse the longer you keep this up... boy friends / girl friends is a big difference to most people! My husband and I do not use my space and never will it's basically kids stuff.... Furthermore we have have an agreement - I don't e-mail men and he doesn't e-mail women. The on line groups I belong to are women's only groups and I don't need or care about friends male or females (although I have a them) b/c I have him... Friends are the last thing on my mind! Maybe you have too much time on your hands - take up a hobby and or do more things that are productive...
2007-06-01 04:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There's a reason for everything. We haven't heard his side of the story but I'm sure you're giving him a reason to be insecure. Why are you on Myspace anyway? You're just looking for approval from the people here at yahoo answers. YOU ARE WRONG. And Christine on top of me, you sound more like a freak. I hope no one marrys you.
2007-06-01 04:02:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This all revolves around trust. Either he has a trust issue with women because of past relationships or there might have been a situation that has damaged his trust for you. If you really love him, and plan on spending the rest of you life with him then completely stop talking to your ex's. Those people will be in and out of your life. your husband will always be there! think about it.
2007-06-01 03:55:14 · answer #8 · answered by andrew_danforth 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is just worried that you may cheat. He may have experienced something like that before in the pasta nd it is hard to get pass that even though you dont plan on doing such things.
I would suggest letting him in on your myspace and you should surf the internet together so he will slowly realise that you are true to him. My husband had that same problem becasue his ex cheated on him but that changed.
2007-06-01 03:55:26 · answer #9 · answered by SG GAL 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be an insecure person. Yes, sounds controlling to me. I would hate to be in your position where my guy would be checking everything I do and reading everything others write me. Have you given much thought about what could be making him so insecure? Perhaps it's just in his nature, but having many male friends' attention, I can see how it could bother him, still, what he does is not right. He should just talk to you about it, and let you know how he feels about it and perhaps that way you both can come to an understanding of what could make yours a better relationship without him having to sneak up behind you to see what you've been up to.
2007-06-01 03:59:17 · answer #10 · answered by Faith . 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋