"i made a mistake, im sorry..i wasnt thinking when i did it..please forgive me, i love you..i cant live without you, i wont allow our marraige to end"
are those really valied reasons not to leave a cheating husband?
2007-06-01 02:24:11 · 45 answers · asked by saparapah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just about everyone deserves a second chance. If they do it again or did it again, then it's not a reason to stay. Good luck, Sweetie!
2007-06-01 06:14:25 · answer #1 · answered by Mabel 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You have a lot of great answers to your question.
Forgiveness comes from the heart, making it very difficult when our thoughts get in the way.
Sometimes our hearts will guide us to the love we had with our husband and want all that back again so we will be willing to forgive the betrayals, then our heads kick in gear and remind us about the things that happened, the hurt and pain we have experienced, the lack of trust, this is when the forgiveness becomes extremely difficult because it has begun a battle within yourself.
I don't have an answer for your decision; I do know it is a tough one. Probably the toughest you will come across in your married life. And the decision is yours alone... which makes it scary. Your life depends on your decision.
We will never know what our spouses are doing 100% of the day and there are always ways to hide the inappropriate activities. How do we deal with that? We need to have trust.
Trusting our spouses is mandatory in a good marriage.. so that would be another big obstacle to overcome. How to regain the trust? Everyone has a different way of getting that trust back, so again it is a personal decision. The internet makes things easier than ever. Do you want to know what he is doing every minute of the day, will you be able to let go of not knowing if he is still communicating with the other women, will you be able to be secure in the relationship without trust?
I don't have any answers for you.. but I understand your situation... all too well.
Hugs and warm wishes to you,
I hope you are able to find happiness again..
2007-06-04 09:39:09 · answer #2 · answered by D V 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No those aren't valid reason not to leave a cheating husband.... what is valid is what you really feel.
Can/Will you ever forgive him, have you forgiven him... Someone it doesn't matter what led to the cheat or all that mumbo jumbo... I meant it is obvious that there was something either wrong with your marriage, or him... and that is what needs work. Are you willing to work on the marriage with him to find out what lead to the cheat? Do you want to take that emotional roller coaster ride? I think leaving is the easy way out. Bottom line he cheated, okay so now do you love your husband enough to forgive, and allow him to spend the rest of his/your lives making it up to you? Or is he really not worth the headache. Obviously, you want to forgive him and work on it, or you wouldn't be asking this question. So I say, forgive him, and go to counseling, to better your marriage. People do make mistakes, and if this is the first huge mistake he has ever made, then he deserves a 2nd chance. If the shoe was on the other foot, what would he do,.....ask him that!
2007-06-01 02:31:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, well i know just what you mean i am in the same situation at the moment my husband had an affair that lasted for 5 months. i found out nearly 6 months ago and am still hearing how sorry he is and that he loves me, the thing that is hard to believe is if they loved you then why do it in the first place? I really think that my husband is trying his hardest to make things right again but i am so hurt and feel so betrayed by what he has done to me. We have decided to go to a marriage councillor and i think that if that isn't any help to us we will probably separate but at least i will feel that i gave it a chance. When the time is right you will know what you want but if you think he is truly sorry and is making an effort to prove that to you maybe together you could try and save your marriage. There is no other feeling of pain that compares to how you feel right now believe me i know. Don't rush into any hasty decision that you might regret later, give it time then you will know that you gave it 100% even if things don't workout. I wish you all the best in the choice you make.
2007-06-01 03:53:11 · answer #4 · answered by Joeds 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really just sounds like a bunch of crap to me but I don't personally know your husband. I don't think those are reasons not to leave him. You have every right to if you want to. What a creep. Some mistake!! All of what you are saying he said sounds like stuff a man who would definitely cheat again would say. Like text book stuff. Sorry if that hurts you I am sure what he did hurt you like hell. You are better than that.
Of course it is what you heart tells you to do what you should do. Can you live with him forever without thinking of him with that other woman or if he is having another mistake? I know we say for better or worse but that is the worse I would never put up with. There are so many fish in the sea right? I mean he went fishing while even being married, the big JERK!!
Good Luck to you in whatever you decide that is so tough!
2007-06-01 02:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so....how long have you been married? Who did he cheat on you with? Does he see this woman on a daily basis (such as at work, next door neighbor?) I just feel as though once a cheater always a cheater. He made a vow in front of god and family and he broke that vow. What would he do if you cheated on him? Would he be that forgiving? I think that you deserve better but maybe if it was a one time deal, and he will never see the woman again, then maybe you guys could go to couples counseling. Good luck
2007-06-01 02:30:15 · answer #6 · answered by Heeheheehee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one that can make that decision. We all can give opinions. You will agree with some and not agree with others. I'm sure this is further complicating things. You have to go with your intuition. Do you think he will cheat again. A lot of people say, once a cheater, always a cheater. We'll, I'm going against that.
However, you better keep down to the root cause of why he strayed and fix it, or else, it will happen again (guaranteed). Its usually lack of intimacy/sex (sorry to say). Or, he's bored with it and wanted variety. Its human. This is what happens.
Good luck to ya. If you want to chat some more, I'll be glad to talk with you.
Take care,
--Jay
2007-06-01 02:37:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that a couple should be for each other only..If you are meant for each other and there is true love between the both of you then cheating would never happen..You would not have to go to someone else for sex..He done it once you better count on him to do it again..He only learned how he got caught the first time and he will cover up better next time..You are a better person than that..Find someone who who be true to you and not use the lame excuses..I was not thinking and I can't live without you..If it hurt you then do what is best for you and do not let it happen again..
2007-06-01 02:35:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Emotional is as bad as physical and lets face it if she had not been in another country it would have been physical. I did take back a man who had an emotional affair with another woman and know it would have been physical had I not found out. He acts like it is all in the past and forgotten but it will never be totally forgotten. We talk more now, we listen to each other more now but I am still at times contemptuous of his dalliance in as much as he lied.....I had the fact he lied. It is going ok so far but I am guarded. I know I was not blameless in the whole thing but he lied.......and its the lies I find more destructive than the friendship. Why did I take him back. I am not totally convinced I have embraced him fully yet. I might. I am talking at an emotional level. We pop along day to day perfectly amiably. I have no idea what ideal is anymore and maybe we settle for second best sometimes. What ever you decide I wish you well.
2016-05-18 04:38:02 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A wife will or won't forgive her cheating husband not just because of what he said, but also because of what she can live with in herself.
Many spouses have been able to forgive and go on to have stronger marriages. But this entailed forgiveness, re-commitment to the marriage vows, sincere remorse, marital counseling, etc.
If however you sense that he's only playing you and he feels bad because he got caught and will still continue cheating after you forgive him, then no, don't forgive him.
2007-06-01 02:32:30 · answer #10 · answered by Tweety 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a previous cheater and the daughter of a previous cheater... yes. forgive him if he is geniune in his apology. it can "just happen" and if you work through it, then your marriage will be so much better than before. You will be able to communicate on a new level and have a much stronger love- knowing it overcame something that normally ends relationships. However you have to forgive and forget.
But that is only if he is true. if not, then its not worth it- walk away and dont be used. But try first.
2007-06-01 02:34:33 · answer #11 · answered by artist9120 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋