I was snooping through my wife's PC and found some archives messages of her having sexual chats with a guy in another part of the country. The majority of these chats happened before we started dating, but I did find one that happened AFTER we started dating and AFTER she moved in with me -- about 4 months into our relationship. I'm extremely hurt by this, but is it relevant now? We've been together nearly two years and just got married three months ago. Is it even worth confronting her especially when I have no reason to believe these chats continue or that she has has ever been unfaithful to me? Furthermore, should I be worried about her fidelity? Should my trust in her be shaken as a result of what I discovered? Thanks for your time.
2007-06-01 02:13:50 · 15 answers · asked by dvox 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In light of the fact tht there has been no more online chatting since you started dating other then the one you found. I would let it go. I may discuss online chatting with her just as part of normal communication to get it on record that you think activity of that nature is cheating. But, I wouldnt do it in an accusatory way. Dont let THAT get in the way of a healthy loving relationship. Work on building a stronger relationship with her. Hey at least she is into something a bit kinky thats always good from a mans perspective. Try and leverage that into something useable in the marriage. Just a thought.
2007-06-01 02:21:15 · answer #1 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you snooped through your wife's PC, and now you want to confront her, because you're "hurt" about something that happened before you were married (which you would not have discovered, had you not been snooping). When something is in the archives, it's old--in the past, over with. Your wife had a life before she married you and she was free to live her life without you reading her diary later. Deal with your insecurities and leave her past alone. And stop snooping through this woman's things! She's your wife, not your prisoner.
2007-06-01 02:45:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to let it go. These things(except for 1) happened before you. Everyone has a past. The other one is hurting you, but you said you have no reason to believe she is cheating now and that is what is important. If you confront her, she will know you snooped and she will be angry with you about it. She may manage to twist things around to your wrongdoing. If you think you can forgive and forget, then do it. Now is what is important and if you have a loving relationship with honest and trust, then I say work on the present.
2007-06-01 02:29:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take this one on the chin
but keep ur vest on and the 9mm close
and sleep with one eye open.
in other words, ok u r married to her and she did this before u got married and a little bit when u got together
well this is my speculation, u mention u have no reason to think this, so the question to u why are u snoopin around
u know why cuz she is doing something that is triggering u to do it. so if i was u leave this alone enjoy ur relationship
and if u feel that u r always stress about her infedilitiy then i suggest to have a talk with her eventhough women will never admit they will cheat or have cheated on u
is to let her know where u stand and if u stood find yourself
stress then u need to reevaluate ur relationship
2007-06-01 03:31:19 · answer #4 · answered by simple J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love none of the above, what she did before the two of you met does not matter. If it will make you feel better talk to her and tell her that you saw the old message that she had,maybe she will be offended by you going through her computer,but maybe not. Have you thought that if she wants to hide this,she already done it before esp. when the two of you met?but she didn't is it? She probably forgot all about it because it's just a text nothing else. If you really love her, love her enough to confront her, and do not make such a big deal of it because it was her past.................
2007-06-01 03:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You people crack me up...do you just need the drama in your life? Ghees.
What happened prior to you guys getting married is of no relevance...you should be more worried about your issue with mistrust to be snooping through her email archives in the first place. Shame on you....you know that there are doctors who specifically treat people with your very same issues.
2007-06-01 02:21:12 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let it go. You know this was before you married her, and its just a computer. I mean people can say and be whatever or whoever they want to be, let it be, It will start problems where there not problems. if however the future holds for her to do things outside of your marriage then would be the time to bring it up. Hopefully your marriage will stay good. Good luck
2007-06-01 02:45:12 · answer #7 · answered by missy j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My philosophy is no good can come from bringing up things that happened before marriage.
You said yourself "I have no reason to believe these chats continue or that she has has ever been unfaithful to me". That's the important part. Let it go.
2007-06-01 02:28:34 · answer #8 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your trust doesnt exist since you were snooping.....the past is the past, I hardly think you should be held accountable for indiscretions that happend befor you started dating her, although the one instance that occurred afterward was wrong, she quickly stopped and as far you know she hasnt done it again. Since your engagemnet and marriage havent you reverted back to some previous behavior just to hang onto your single life for a few minutes?
2007-06-01 02:27:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely you moved in together too soon, since she obviously wasn't committed to you yet. This happened before you were married. Let it go.
2007-06-01 02:18:12 · answer #10 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋