I have found the most sweet and loveing man that will do anything for me and my children and we are getting married in less than a month. We agreed not to be intament or live together until we are married. My problem you ask is this how do I get over all my past hurt to allowe myself to enjoy this love and compasion from this wonderful man that is about to become my husband? I have been through alot of hurt from my past and I find myself always trying to sabatash what I have. I often feel numb and feeling like I do not deserve this and I will not open up to being happy. He is a great person and my children love him but please can someone with a heart and compasion help me here?
2007-06-01 01:39:37 · 8 answers · asked by me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The best solution is to not compare this man to anyone from your past. Take him as he is and wipe your mental slate clean. He has already obviously provided you with lots of happiness, I think your problem is letting yourself be happy. We all deserve happiness! Forget the past, move on, love yourself and allow yourself to be happy. The more you dwell on the past the more time you waste being miserable!
2007-06-01 01:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay...I would personally not get married and bring this type of emotional baggage into a relationship I feel doesn't merrit the lingering ghosts and the pain from my past.heartaches and disappointments. Why not postpone the ceremony and invest in some therapy? Have you discussed your concerns with your husband to be? He sounds like a peach of a guy and if you want this relationship to prosper you need to come clean and allow a trained professional and your impending spouse assist you in working out the issues.
I appreciate your concern Sister and I sincerely wish you and yours the best. You "WILL" move on and the past will eventually stay in the past. Now is the time to work on your future and create memories that will make those past hurts dust in the wind!
2007-06-01 01:51:32 · answer #2 · answered by Goodie66 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you place yourself in another relationship you must get the help of a therapist. You obviously have not been able to overcome the things from your past alone. And talk with your fiance. It's only fair he understands what is going on.
2007-06-01 02:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take this man to who he is not a mirror to those other losers. Enjoy your new path and do not compare him to anyone. Enjoy the steps you two take together not looking for the shadow of another mam. He is not just as you are not a shadow of another woman.
Do not sabotage your happiness.
2007-06-01 01:46:30 · answer #4 · answered by Dawnita R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would seek professional help. The great thing about the situation that you are in is you have a great guys to support you through the process. In the end it could help everyone, you, him and your kids.
2007-06-01 01:46:00 · answer #5 · answered by techie.wench 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no magic solution. Try not to talk about your past relationships, that will help you not dwell on them. If you need to talk about it, talk to a counselor or your pastor, not the new spouse, it will make him feel uncomfortable.
2007-06-01 01:44:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bury the past and look ahead!You deserve to be happy no matter what your past is.If God forgives us,why don't you forgive yourself for whatever you may have done?
2007-06-01 01:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by martha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the pass behind you and enjoy the future
Good Luck
2007-06-01 01:45:32 · answer #8 · answered by Mustbe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋