Is he cheating or not?

Question

My husband has a young lady on the job he works with. They call each other all the time and she calls all times of night. He never talks to here around me , He says they are just friends but everytime I ask him a question about her he gets irritated and act like I am bother him. I try to say that they are friends but his actions say different. She says they are friends as well but because I confronted her. What can I do to show him that I am not please with the relationship or should I say uncomfortable with it.

Let me just mention that our sexual llfe is great. She is constantly blowing his phone up and when confronted she always mentions that I am unhappiy and shoul leave him. I am very much confused and love my husband but do not want to be taken as a fool. We have 3 children and they are the love of our life I have even ask him to go to marriage counseling but he says we do not need it and that I am paranoid.

Answer 1

they are frends...wit benefits...kick him out...

Answer 2

You do not have to put up with this! You are his wife and he is not only disrespecting the fact that this is making you very uncomfortable IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD, but he's also disrespecting you to the extreme lying and cheating right before your eyes.

Where is your self pride, respect and value? You have to demand that no matter who he works with, this will stop. This is not the way a husband can treat his wife and you have to let him know that.

A marriage is when two people are in love and they're doing everything to make each other happy. If this bothered you, with love and respect it would have stopped the second he knew that.

Threaten that this has caused you to lose his trust and unless he changes that, you have a major problem here. If his reaction is "too bad" and doesn't care about this major problem, then you will have to take it to the next step. Don't ignore it. Get strong. I wish you all the luck.

Answer 3

Honey, I went through 5 years of that, only it went so far that he put her into a business, I (and many others) believed her daughter was his and that SHE was his wife,not me. Her Husband was his best friend, and she also worked for our famiy business. So, I am not sure, but I wouldn't let it go on a day longer. The longer u wait, the more emotionally he becoumes involved with er. Emotional Cheating can be just as bad as if he physically cheated. Maybe worse because there are so many more questions. Talk to him again, if he remains defensive and irratic, only one solution left. Talk to the woman but , Stand your ground, let her know that it is very poor taste to be telephoning a married man (co-worker or not) and she is letting her personal moral flags fly boldly. Ask her if she is proud of that. Take her power away by making HER talk to you. Ask her what her intitions are, why she thinks she has the right to call your husband, afterall he is Your Husband, and if they are friends, being an adult, she should know what the boundries are. If it doesn't stop, sorry sister.....your man is a cheatin' fool!

Answer 4

I cant say that hes cheating but the fact that she not an old friend and that she's new is red flag #1. Red flag #2 is that she's 'nothing but a platonic friend', yet he wont talk to her around you. and red flag # 3: Is there a fire or a disturbing death after work hours that concerns you or your husband? If not, why the hell would ANYONE be calling your house in the middle of the night. She's disrespectful and so is he. And if he's cheating, he's being very sloppy and disrespectful with it!

Answer 5

Oh god....I have been through a similiar situation. Not everyone is the same....so don't fly off the handle. You know him better than we all do. Since you have confronted him and he gets annoyed...then think about it.

In my situation...I followed my gut..and sure enough, she was more than a co-worker. I too confronted her, only left feeling like a fool. They both pulled the wool over my eyes. There is no reason for him to get upset if you ask him questions.....why is it that everytime she calls, he leaves the room? Why does she call him at night????? I already know the answer to this question and I am sure you do too.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Doesn't sound good. Time to put your foot down on this relationship. Sit down and just explain it plainly. Explain to him how unusual his actions and reactions have been. Explain to him how they make you feel. Tell him you think it is inappropriate. The big question of the day is this: if they are just friends, why does she have to call at all hours of the night and why is he so secretive? If he gets mad, then you're probably onto something. You might want to consider marriage counseling, or if you REALLY think he might be cheating, you could hire a private investigator if you can afford it. Good luck!

Answer 7

I would say yes, he is cheating and hoping he can hide it from you by making it appear to be just a friendship. You have every right as his wife to question the calls and the nature of the relationship. The fact that he gets irritated when you question him indicates the relationship he has with this women goes much further than friendship. My advice to you is to sit down one on one with your husband and tell him how the whole situation makes you feel. Tell him as his wife you feel you have earned the right to his honesty, stare him in the eyes and ask him if he is seeing this women. You should then be able to tell either way. You could go the other route of listening to his calls, going through his messages and reading his emails, but you have to ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship of miss trust?

Answer 8

He is having an affair. It might not be physical yet, but at the least it is an emotional affair.
The biggest clue is that they are talking on the phone so much and he never talks to her around you.
If he wasn't doing anything wrong, then he shouldn't have anything to hide.
Let him know that is is not acceptable to you and suggest marital counseling. If he won't go then go to counseling without him. You will need it.
The best thing you can do to end this affair is to report it to where they work. Employers frown on this stuff big time.

Answer 9

I have a female "friend" at work too and she called the other night on my cell. I left my cell phone on the dresser and it was buzzing at 1030 the other night. Wife and I been married 12 yrs. We have two young kids, but we are not intimate, nor do we have sex anymore. I'm 35, she's 36. We don't sleep together. She lets the kids sleep with her. This has been going on for the past 2.5 yrs. I sleep on the couch or in one of the boys beds. I'm sick of it, but she's a stay at home Mom (very good Mommy by the way), and I work full-time for a Fortune-50 company making a good income and if I were to divorce, I'm afraid she would get everything. We own a nice home, have great kids, but their is no intimacy and she completely lost her sex drive after the birth of our second child. I can't help it. I'm very sexual and I want to explore my sexuality.

If you are to chat, email me here. I wish you the best with your situation. I don't condone cheating, but it happens. Its sad, but it reality.

--Jay

Answer 10

hmm why dont you get a hold of his phone while hes not using it and see if hes like texting her and stuff. I dont know i can see how you could feel this way. I wouldnt help but think that. But has he showed you any attention lately since this has happend like "intimate"? Because if not then id be worried. Some guys let their (you know what) think for them rather then their hearts. My husband hides his phone from me all the time but i think thats just cause he likes his privacy cause where he works their arent any girls. But i know hes not cheating on me just by the way he acts. Hes always telling me he loves me and brings me home flowers and "stuff". So i know he loves me i dont question it. But if my husband was doing what your is i think i would dig into it and see what the dirt is.

Answer 11

It sounds to me as though he probably has something going on with her. If he won't talk to her around you that tells me he's saying something he doesn't want you to hear. Even more disturbing is that she calls all times of night. This isn't normal. Obviously confronting them gets you know where. You need to be a little more sneaky to determine exactly what their relationship is. Good luck on investigating this!