i have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now, i show him how much i love and appreciate him everyday, he is the most amazing guy i have ever met, but hes starting to get really jealous. For example, when we go out together clubbing, when i stop to talk to a male friend, he takes it that im doing something really wrong and we end up arguing and going home! And i have to get changed about 5 times before we get out because hes not happy with other guys checking me out and believe me, i do not wear overly revealing clothes at all! Any ideas how i can make him feel better? Or is he just an asshole?
2007-05-31 22:49:45 · 18 answers · asked by Kristen C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The thing is, I really am not a big flirt, and i know that what i do shouldnt make him jealous. He is definately a catch and someone i want to be with for a long time, this is the problem as far as dumping him is concerned. He really is an amazing guy, he just needs me to boost his confidence i reckon. what do you think? Sticky situation!
2007-05-31 23:00:59 · update #1
I have never messed him around or hurt him at all. We dont go out that often anymore, sometimes to the pub, but i dont even go out with my friends without him! He told me he is becoming very insecure though
2007-05-31 23:03:22 · update #2
im more concerned about how hes feeling. I dont want him to feel threatened or jealous, because theres no need to be! Two months ago he lied to me about getting in touch with his ex girlfriend in ireland! maybe thats triggered off something in him coz he has definately changed in the last while!
2007-05-31 23:05:12 · update #3
This sort of behaviour gets worse honey - you may be better of with someone else.
2007-05-31 22:53:33 · answer #1 · answered by Jan S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thank him for his concern and protectiveness but reassure him as an adult with a mind of your own, you can dress yourself!
Ask him why he feels jealous. Is it the way you behave or does he have reason not to trust you? Is this because you have reason not to trust him?
You really have to nip this one in the bud, trust me. I once had a boyfriend that got so bad like that one night I woke up to find him on my windowsil peering in between the curtains to make sure I was alone. He also paid his unemployed friend to follow me around. It turned out he had cheated and feared I could do the same. I wouldn't have and didn't but am glad to be rid of that one!!!
Additional detail:
In response to your additional detail, you are his girlfriend, he doesn't need to feel threatened or insecure by your behaviour. Maybe he is feeling guily.
2007-05-31 22:58:52 · answer #2 · answered by vanessa 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is being jealous and insecure if he is touchy about what you are wearing. If he doesn't stop he is an a* hole.
An Afterword: If he is a great catch don't let his insecurity/jealousy bother you. Just never mind that he is being a weakling. But if he continues with his insecurity I'm sure you will just love him madly years down the line when he is putting a leash around your neck.
2007-05-31 22:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by ahauntedhistory 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will just get worse belive me and you can't change someone like that, it doesnt matter how much yuo tell them yuo love them, also eventually it's YOU that changes to try and make them happy i.e getting changed 5 times what is that all about?? don't let him do it to you, next thing you know he will isoalte yuo from your male friends or to make huim happy you will gradually start to distance yourself from male freinds and from doing anything you think will uspet him. In truth it wont make any difference and yuo will end up miserable. Belive me Ive been there I ended up changing how i dressed, stopped talking to male friends and basically i ended up as insecure as him. He isnt a catch - any man who makes you change yuor clothes etc is a knob - you deserve better. My advaice would be to get rid of him and find a guy who lets you be yourself. Whatever you do , Good luck.
2007-06-01 00:18:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that when people act jealous, it's because they know they wouldn't trust themselves in such a situation.
It is definitely his problem sweetheart and you need to reassure him of your love for him, and tell him how this is affecting you, and that he is going to push you away if he doesn't get over his jealousy. Tell him that the way he is acting now is more likely to make you leave him, than have the affect of stopping you straying.
At the end of the day, only you can make this decision, but you have to be brutally honest with him.
Good luck.
2007-05-31 23:16:45 · answer #5 · answered by PrettyKitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably insecure. Has he had a previous girlfriend cheat on him before or something? You guys probably need to talk it out, trust is a very important part of a relationship (some say one of the foundations) and if you don't have it what's the point? He needs to be able to trust you.
2007-05-31 22:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you are just a really lovely looking woman, and he is just to scared to loose you
i wouldn't completely blame his jealousy, some people just are like that, the more they love you, the more they get that jealous way.
would you ever settle down with him, i.e start a family? do you see a future with him?
i dont think many guys are that confident in there woman going out clubbing etc, and i doubt many guys would like seeing the woman they love getting eyed up by other guys.
i would suggest, to stop going out clubbing for a while, and see how things go?
xx
2007-06-04 07:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by lovelifelivelife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs some sort of conciling i guess, some people do feel insecure from very young age. This is a matter of psychologic issue. Talk to him or ask him to talk to a expert. It might turn into a big issue or maybe just a blink
2007-05-31 23:14:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a toughie, just try to associate urself with guys but dont flirt, but at the same time stay very close to ur bf and he'll realize u can have guy friends and a boyfriend, if he doesnt realize tell him
2007-05-31 22:55:18 · answer #9 · answered by Dhoopy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest i have that with my girlfriend, only because she messed me around for a year , anyway we dont go clubbing or anything just be together socialize together and its helped so much, im no longer like it. if u wanna save the relationship stop clubbing and spend more quality time with him with stuff hes happy with u doing then ou will realise that everythings alot better and go from there if you cant stop clubbing then end the relationship asap.
2007-05-31 23:00:09 · answer #10 · answered by puddleofmudd 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is a difference between jealousy and obsessing over someone, it sounds to me like he is leaning towards the obsessive.
He will get worse (believe me I know) if you don't kick him into touch now........ or dump him
2007-05-31 22:54:54 · answer #11 · answered by Janbull 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋