what do you do when ur spouse makes you feel like your always doing something wrong?

Question

here's a senerio. me & my husband have been together for 2 years. but we've only been married for 8 months.mine and his past hasn't been the greatest.however, since i've been with him i've completely changed my life around.and no matter if someone calls or i run into someone. he always makes a smart comment.like if i'm cheating on him.he's the only one the has ever made me feel like i'm doing something wrong.when in fact i'm not.i'm constantly letting him know that i wouldn't do anything to ruin our marrige.but, i know it doesn't register through him.i am now asking him almost every conversation that we have.if you couldn't trust me why then did we get married?the only answer he gives me is because i love you.well i feel that if you really love someone and your married you should be able tpo trust that person.right? well some answer this cuz i'm getting to the point of isolation.

Answer 1

That's the whole reason he does that. It's a control issue. If he can get you to not have friends and talk to other people, he feels he won't lose you. No matter how many times you assure him, he can't believe you. This will end in a terrible and miserable life for you if you both don't get into couples counseling. If he refuses, you might think of getting out before he destroys all your self esteem. Best of luck.

Answer 2

He is insecure, and is trying to control your contacts with other people in order not to lose you. If you don't stop it right now, you will be miserable for the rest of your life. Tell him that it is time to grow up.

Trust is one of the main ingredients of Love. Either he does not love you the way he should, or he is feeling guilty about something that he is doing wrong. Tell him that he needs to trust you, or the marriage is a joke. Don't allow him to take precious years of your life making you unhappy. If you allow him to do this it will get worse, I promise. I have been in the same situation, and eventually I had to leave. This marriage can not progress until he is a secure part of it.

Answer 3

If he loves you, then why does he demean you and make accusations when he has no proof of you doing wrong? When you love someone, you don't accuse them of doing wrong and constantly hurt them like this.

You need to sit down and the two of you discuss these issues and find out why he is so suspicious all the time when you've given him no reason. Remind him that respect and trust goes both ways so ask him why he feels the need to constantly berate and accuse you and try to make you feel guilty. You both need to go for some counseling to deal with this before it gets worse.

But then, my dad was like that, always accusing my mother of cheating on him. Problem was, mom wasn't doing anything wrong but he sure was (more than once).

Answer 4

I am sorry you are in a very hard situation at the present. I really think that you should sit down with him and stress to him that what is happening really upsets you. Obviously nobody is perfect and we all have our little ways that irritate our partners, but if you truly love somebody i believe you should try and stop doing some things for them. If this does not work maybe you could try doing the same to him?

Answer 5

Wow sounds like my man, could they be twin brothers? It's a variety of things, they want to be in control, they are insecure and don't want to get hurt, I think they are scared? It's annoying and why we put up with it, I have no idea but we do. I know they love us but just have issues with trust and security. Good luck

Answer 6

The only answer i would give is, if you love him you would not find mistakes in him, anyways the only advise i give you is dont be egoistic and dont think you are perfect every day you grow after commiting mistakes and correcting them. and even if your husband criticise you i would advise only to take only just criticisms and try improving on themand leave them if it is unjust criticism.

Answer 7

You have to tell him that this needs to stop because it hurts your feelings.Try and rationalize with him,be firm but don't get angry or emotional.It also doesn't matter what your past it.Its not the person you were back then but the person you are now that counts.

Answer 8

Oh sweetie if i'd desire to furnish you a large hug good now i'd, it is so confusing for each individual worried while a kinfolk breaks down, fairly for the toddlers and don't you ever think of that someway it is your fault or that your dad does not love you or your little sister through fact he does. in specific circumstances human beings do exactly no longer make one yet another chuffed and that they bypass their separate techniques, your father and mom would have fallen out of affection with one yet another yet the two one in each of them will by no ability Ever end loving you and your sister. As for you Mum's B/F, it would continuously be confusing which you would be able to work out your Mum with yet another guy who wasn't your dad and it is continuously going to be confusing for the recent guy to settle in with toddlers who're no longer his very own, your absolute to be shielding of your mum and you wont desire him to attempt and replace your dad which he will by no ability be waiting to do. attempt chatting with your mum concerning the way you experience, it is confusing for her besides, she needs you to be chuffed yet she additionally merits to be chuffed herself yet im confident she'd plenty somewhat placed your thoughts formerly her very own. i do no longer think of this new guy hates you i think of he's probable extra frightened of yours and your sisters thoughts in direction of him, he does not desire again in the process like the guy of the domicile yet he sounds like he has to shelter your mum once you 2 argue which then ends up in you and him arguing. Please talk on your mum approximately this or maybe your dad, if your unhappy your dad has a magnificent to be attentive to whats making you so unhappy and doubtless you and this guy can locate some style of basic floor.