why do i hate life and want to die ( what is wrong with me )?

Question

I am a 30 yr old woman who is a parent of a pre-teen. I find myself yelling at my child and telling her that I hate her. I also find that I hate my entire family and hate to be any where near these people. Sometimes I wish my child would go live with my mother and get out of my life. The older I get, the more I hate the world and everything in it. Lately, my attitude towards others has been really negative and I just feel out of control like I could hurt someone. My life is pretty regular, I am not in any financial trouble, my child is an honor roll student, ive been told I am a good mother, my house is nice, blah, blah.. and nothing crazy is going on in my life except for the fact that I just feel angry and what seems like, for no apparent reason.....and I really hate people...for no real reason...what could be wrong with me

Answer 1

Hi:

First, please let me tell you that you are not alone in the way that you feel. Many people have felt or feel the way you do now, myself included. I have Depression, Anxiety, Bipolar Disorder and the list goes on. I found myself treating my children, my family and so forth the same way you are describing. It is not fair to others to be abused (honestly, that is what it is) by you or anyone else. It is also NOT OK for you to emotionally abuse your self that I see in your posting this morning.

Please when your doctor's office opens toay, make an appointment, be seen today write everything down, if your posting sums it up then make it easy and just print it out and hand it to your doctor. When your appointment is done, both you and your doctor with discuss treatment options. You sound to me someone with extreme anxiety, depression and possibly something else. I am not a doctor, I cannot say.

I can say, I have been where you are, it's not a pretty place, it is hurtful to you and those you love. You sounds as if you are an excellent parent. Please to continue to be an excellent parent or anything else your first priority MUST be to care for yourself and then and only then will you be able to care for others as you do so well.

If you need someone to listen or to talk to, I am here for you. My contact info is in my profile. I do not mind at all.

But please call the doctor. Help is only a call away to feeling so much happier.

Please Be Safe & Be Well

Answer 2

Hello fatmeat

I doubt that there is a given reason for your feelings except that deep down somewhere something is missing from the completeness of your existence. At some stage the little seed of suicide was planted and it never goes away. We just have to be very careful not to let it sprout and carry us away. Recognition of its existence is vital but never let it get its head. I have always believed that if we top ourselves we have to come back and do it all again to learn the lessons we have not learned this time round.....and I am never coming back here.

I understand how you feel and empathize with you. I suggest perhaps doing something in your life that is strictly for you and your enjoyment. This may be studying at TAFE or university, or learning craft (like quilting), or taking up a rather strenuous activity or sport. There is also medication (Lexapro) available but that should be a last resort.

Be aware of these feelings, recognize them and each day do something that will bring sunshine to your life....hard as this may seem. Most importantly stay right away from those people you do not like and do not bring joy to you.

All the very best
annesuza

Answer 3

This really sounds like you should be talking to someone who knows what they're talking about, rather then some random peoples opinions. Seeing a doctor, or a psychiatrist sounds like a good idea.

Also, letting out your feelings by TALKING to friends and family about your feelings could help.

This may sound completely stupid and probably unhelpful, but I get my most angry, my most "bitchy", my most upset/sad/hopeless/whatever, when I don't have something to look forward to. It can be silly too. Like if I know that on Friday I'm going out to see a movie with a few of my friends, I get to plan on it, and think about what I'm going to wear, and look forward to something. But when I have nothing, I start going into a darker depression.

Well, I'm sorry I don't think I've helped much, but I wish you the best of luck, I hope you learn to realize how wonderful life is, even when it's bad. And how even if it's a cliche, there is always hope, and will it get better.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
-Robert Frost

Answer 4

you are looking for more out of life you probly had your child as a teen and is mentally rejecting her because it held you back from doing other things. Im not going to go into any religous because you probly have heard go to church with your family or talk to a minister which may be a good idea but you also need to find a hobby or take some classes in school since you are finacially secured do something that you have always wanted to do.(any type classes that consist of something that you want to do)

Answer 5

You should really be seeking professional help, especially if you're behaving in a manner that is detrimental to your child. Think of how your preteen feels or what she may be thinking when you say something like 'I hate you' or yell when it is not appropriate (I don't feel many circumstances warrant such an act).

You're certainly dealing with some issues and it sounds like you're be depressed.

Get help, if not for your health, for you're child's.

Good luck, I hope things turn around.

Answer 6

You are creating the hate yourself with your mind... this is all manifested through your thought patterns... Try to be more concious of what you are thinking... If all of your thoughts are directed towards hate and anger, you will keep hating and bringing these feelings into your life... If your thoughts are of love and happiness, then these are what you will bring... That which is like unto itself is drawn... and watch out for karma also... you dont want hating on your daughter to ruin what could be a warm and incredible relationship... for connecting with people and family is truly important....
Peace and love to you!!! Good luck with your life!!

Answer 7

Because you are lost without God. When society tells us we have no God and we are just here by chance what is the point of living? Without God there is no hope for anything better then what we have here on earth and if we don't have much here to live for then it's natural to feel suicidal.

Answer 8

The best advice I can give is that you seek professional help. What you are experiencing is not only detrimental to you but also to the people around you. I say: Get help. Now.

Answer 9

It sounds like you are in deep depression. Please go to your dr and tell him your symptoms (what you told us). There are many types of meds he can put you on that will help. Please for yourself and your daughter, make that call today. It isn't something you can handle on your own. It's a chemical imbalance in the brain. Yhee is no point in suffering with this when the help is there.

Answer 10

Your brain is not well. You are depressed. This means the chemicals are not acting properly. Go to a psychiatrist and get help. You will be much happier afterwards.