What should i do - He's gone too far now!?

Question

I'm so pissed off today its unreal - Right my boyfriend is going out on a stag do tonight // which is perfectly fine with me - I'm staying in as someones coming round to fix the tv and do the wiring etc - right so getting to the point // I was talking to my neighbour and she said " look i'm not trying to cause any problems but TJ (my boyfriend) has asked me to keep an eye on u tonight case u bring anyone over the house tonight or u do anything with the guy who comes to fix the tv" - I was gobsmacked! - I havent said anything to him yet about this i don't no what to do - it's the fact he doesn't trust me whats made me upset ! He's made me feel like **** // my naighbour proberly thinks im some sort of sl*t if my boyfriend feels he cant trust me! Should i tell him after this stag do that i know or should i tell him now? ah what should i do :( ??

Answer 1

Theres only one reason why a man has trust issues....... hes not trustworthy himself.

Answer 2

Hi there Emzi, The key here is to stay calm....getting angry and going on the defense is not going to help matters. You don't know for sure whether there is any truth in what your neighbour has told you, dont take it as gospel and then go in like a bull in the china shop. If you try to talk to TJ when he gets back from his stag night, he is not exactly going to be in the right state of mind to discuss it eh? Try to stay calm and sleep on it. Wait till the morning and just CALMLY mention it to him in your conversation, act as if you find it almost amusing, and see what his reaction is to it. Firstly, if it is true, he will probably be annoyed that the neighbour told you. And secondly, if it is not true, then you can leave it up to him to go and have a word with the neighbour.
Think about it....if he is getting your neighbour to keep an eye on you, it does not necessarily mean that he is guilty of being un-trustworthy, he could be very insecure. You cannot simply assume that your neighbour thinks you are a sl*t, they may be thinking how silly it is of your boyfriend to be asking for that sort of help. You don't know for sure whether your neighbour has an ulterior motive. There are alot of people out there who like to stir up trouble.
Wait to see what TJ says, and then discuss the trust issue in your relationship, and maybe reassure him that you will not be unfaithful.
Just remember, if you have a go at him from the onset, he will only get annoyed and go on the defense, two wrongs don't make a right. Get the facts, then discuss.
I wish you all the best! :o)

Answer 3

Agree, maybe he's not totally trustworthy!! I would question him after the stag do, you dont want to have an arguement before he goes out!!! If you have never given him any reason to not trust you, ask why he doesnt trust you....

Maybe he's the one thats insecure and thinks you might leave him for someone else, he's probably just paranoid or he thinks your to good for him and that you will find someone better, maybe????

I had a boyfriend years ago, well, he did flirt with anything in a skirt!!! but i was so convinced that he was going to find someone better, i didnt trust him at all. We split up in the end..

Answer 4

how long have u been together?has he done anything like this before?does your neighbour like him?how close are u to your neighbour?how is she going to keep an eye on you?sit on your lap? how do u no he doesn't trust you?
so many questions,answer those then relax breathe drink tea and think about where u are in ure life,if ure in a happy place looking to a happy future then ignore this incident its all conjecture at the end of the day
get a few friends round tonight watch rubbish on TV (if its fixed)or movies and enjoy
hope all is well x

Answer 5

Was she joking? Maybe she's just a horrible person and thought she'd stir it up a bit. I suggest you ask your boyfriend now. If he says yes, he did, you can tell him what a w8nker he is or whatever else would make you feel better, if he is no, you know your neighbour is a nasty piece of work and you should both stay clear.

I reckon that's the sort of thing a man might say as a joke, since he's going out with the boys and will probably get a bit rowdy, that sort of thing.

Hope you work it out.

Answer 6

Don't tell him now, do you really want to get angry at each other and then let him go out and get drunk? Anything could happen with regards to getting too drunk and starting fights or flirting with girls! I think you should wait until he has sobered up tomorrow and talk to him about it. Does he have any reason to think this of you? He has trust issues and he needs to address them rather than take them out on you. I think if you tell him how hurt you were that he was quite happy for your neighbour to 'babysit' you and that you do not appreciate being branded like that, hopefully you will be able to understand why he has done this.

Answer 7

If this something you believe the boyfriend to have said, ask him about it, but if you believe the neighbor is lying to you keep it to yourself, it will only cause a fight and some days a fight isn't worse the hard ache it causes. Best of luck and hope you find peace with whatever you have to do with this situation at hand. Either way tell him to hit the road or tell her at the end of the night ohhh wanted to let you know I fu(ked him in our bed and it was better with him the with the boyfriend it will shut her up quick.

Answer 8

That means your boyfriend is used to do somethings on your back and now he thinks that you are capable of doing the same. The fact he talks to the neighbour about you is just not acceptable in the couple. You need to make things clear with him, bcoz if it continues like that he will make a lot of enermies for you in the neighborhood. Otherwise I feel like he's mocking you or something? Where is the respect for his baby.

Answer 9

If I were you I would not trust what my neighbour said 100%. I would tell my bf straight out what she said to me, but tell him in a calm manner, and not as if I am accusing him or that I even believe what the neighbour said. See what he says and if he denies it, then tell him that of course, you never thought that could be true, behave all happy with your bf and then see how your "well-meaning" neighbour behaves. Chances are that she is envious of you, fancies your bf and wanted to cause trouble in your relationship. Don't play into her hands, be strategic and always think carefully before you act. Don't let your emotions carry you away in situations and always be aware that many times in life things and people are not always what they seem to be...
Good luck!

Answer 10

Hey!!! I think you should talk to your boyfriend after the stag do. It wont help if you keep it to urself and im sure u would like to know why he thinks like that. I would be very paranoid with my boyfriend. When I feel like this we talk things over and get it sorted. Good luck :)

Answer 11

let him go on his stag do then tomorrow tell him wot your neighbour told you, ask him why he felt that he cant trust you have you given him reason to not trust you or iz he scared that someone will take you away from him ,,,,,,,iz your neighbour gonna babysit you why your partner goes out......ask him tomorrrow,( how much he paid her to look after you) i think the going rate is four pounds, it sounds silly doesn,t it ,ave a good nite ope you tv gets sorted out and let me know how you deal with your boyfriend ........