My husband is strange and In don't understand why he does the things that he does to me.?

Question

What do you think about this people.My husbands an introvert and I'm an extrovert. He hardly ever talks . I'm emotional and very passionate about anything that interest me. Whether it romance or doing arts and crafts.My husband gets annoyed with me when I start talking about things that's emotional or serious . Or when something is really important and exciting for me .I become happy, expressive and very talkative. I'm always talkative not just then. He tries to tells me that their is something wrong with me and how I behave. He's always sitting there quietly judging me.. For about a year, during arguments (like when I caught him doing a search for hookers in our area) he's say that the reason that we were and do argue was because I was Bipolar.So I'd be arguing about that defend myself.I knew I wasn't . I went had had my self diagnosed so he would stop saying that.I was right and I'm not .Now when we fight he says that I need to see some one because I have a chemical imbalance

Answer 1

It's not uncommon for an introvert to marry an extrovert. At first they are attracted to it, because it's novel to them, but then it becomes an irritant, after the novelty wears off.
There's nothing wrong with you, but he is the way he is, and it isn't going to change. To say that your bipolar, just because you're more emotional, and talkative, or have a chemical imbalance, which bipolar is caused by is ridiculous.
Just stop talking to him, unless absolutely necessary. I would file for divorce, because you're about as incompatible as you can be. Blaming you for being an extrovert, and calling it bipolar, means he has no idea what a true bipolar person is, and the sever mood swings from depression to mania, and with paranoia, grandios ideas, etc. I have a son, husband, daughter, and grandsons with it from my husband's side of the family, so I'm well aquainted with this problem.
People are often attracted to people whom they wish that they could be more like, or complete them, and make them feel more whole as a person, but then discover that when they can't be more like their mates, start blaming them, instead of realizing that you can't help him be what he envys in an other person, so he trys to make it your problem, by doing and saying what he does.
His looking for hookers, and blaming you, by calling you bipolar, tells me that he's in a real state of denial, and takes no blame for what he does wrong.
I'm all for trying to make a marriage work, but this doesn't seem to me to be one of those times. Dump him while you really do still have your sanity.

Answer 2

Don't worry too much about him saying you have a chemical imbalance! My husband of 25 years has been telling me that all our married lives. I am also a loud, talkative, very enthusiastic person, and he is an introvert. Over the years, he has got used to my behavior, and my constant talking. He just sits there when I go on and on about something that excites me, looking at me as if I am mad! He did once admit that he would not want me to change in any way, because I keep him entertained. He says he knew before we were married that I was "Not quite right", as I am sure your husband also did. I think sometimes though, people like us can be a bit overwhelming to others, so perhaps your husband has just not got used to the constancy of it yet. I think that his looking for hookers is a bit more of a problem than your enthusiasm for life, and is something that HE will have to resolve. Please do not change your personality just because it annoys him. He married you for the person you are. ( Anyway, I think that the "Quirkiness" is what makes us who we are, and we would be slightly more boring people without it!). I do hope you can get these problems sorted out, and continue to be as passionate about life as you now are.

Answer 3

OK your husband is a good abuser
Introvert people ususally are when feel that htey are put in a corner, because usually they are liers
it is your marriage I can't say for you to just leave it, but take it from me you will end up doing that
because if you don't he will take away your freedom form you
I left my Xhus because if I did not I would have kill him with all his abuses so I walk away because my freedom is more important, introvert are so paranoid and jealous that even after years I got remarried that he is still trying to interfer one way or another in my life he has not pay child support, he does not call the children but he is telling all his family members & friend how much he is in contact
he did not even go to his son Grad so you see he is a complete deadbeat but to see him you will not beleive it
Girl he is the one with a chemical imbalance not you
girl yourself a life, go out to do your own stuff
stop getting angry at him because he is not participating
Abuse come in many form
Good luck

Answer 4

You know what needs to be done and the answer to this question. Hes taking the attention off of him and on to you. in making you have a complex. Plus you married him knowing you both were so different. He doesnt respect you and the two of you arent in love with eachother thats why you cant seem to come to a middle/compromise on this. Him searching for hookers isnt an eye opener for you? and you thin he sits there and judges you ? you both need counseling together and some apart

Answer 5

That sounds like emotional or mental abuse. Look it up, The Verbally Abusive Man, and The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans and other similar books. Mine does and says hateful things too. I think there's resources in books like this or siilar ones that can help you teach your husband how to treat you. You can also try to figure out what you want and if this game playing or crazy-making warping your brains is worth your time or a waste of it and go from there. There are different personality types too, you sound like sanguine or sanguine-something and he sounds like melancholic-something. Melancholies are judgemental and criticizing perfectionists who are more likely to take revenge and be bitter once hurt or seeing a perceived hurt or threat, phlegmatics can be resentful and hold grudges and be lazy, sanguines are more likely to be happy and not be angry for long and are happy bouncy talkative friendly people, and cholerics tend to be bossy controlling physical take charge get the job done in a hurry need to solve it now kind of people. Most time, opposites will attract. You can look up the 4 personality types and difficult people. You may not realize but you just gave Exact descriptions of 2 of the personality types. My husband is choleric mostly btw.
There is a book I've been reading, can't remember the name of it, but it talks about if you invest your emotions in someone, it will hurt you more and how we raise the bar to someone we are closer to but hold at arms length the same behavior in someone else whom we tolerate and think of as funny.
This website gives suggestions: http://www.tipsforsuccess.org/difficult-people.htm

Answer 6

Well actually it is none of your business what he thinks of you. What is most important is; it is your business what you know is true about you. Sounds like you really didn't get to know each other before you got married and now you are finding out that your values, interest and personalities are not really compatible.

Of course you caught him trying to cheat on you by looking for hookers in your area, he is for sure going to attack you and say there is something wrong with you.

He is also blaming you for everything that goes wrong and you know that isn't true. I don't know you and I know that isn't true.

Answer 7

Many people are chronic complainers - and many people complain about their spouse because they feel the spouse is different and/or better, but it takes work to be that way and they don't want to do the work, so they try to make it seem like the other is not better, but broken somehow, so they don't feel guilty about not being more like the other person - you know what i mean? If he is quiet, he likely wishes he was more talkative like you - that might be one of the things that attracted him to you. If he finds he can't be that way, isn't it easier on him and his ego to try to convince himself and others that there is something wrong with being talkative like you, rather than admit that he can't be that way? That is gut reaction on this. Good luck!

Peace!

Answer 8

You caught him doing a search for hookers in your area?? What do you think he was doing "just looking" for the hell of it? I think you caught him attempting to cheat, if he hadn't already. Of course he is going to blame you and call you bipolar and crazy...he is guilty and not taking responsibility for his action and he was caught. Men who get caught at crap like this are good liars and in the face of facts they lash out and try to blame the other person for their behavior. If at all possible, I would leave him.

Answer 9

Girls tend to be the more talkative ones......

I'm sure you knew this about him before you married him......I'm sure it didnt just happen out of the blue.......I'm sure you acted like this before 2 did yall fight about this before yall got married?

If he wasnt like that before it could because something is wrong with him so he is taking it out on you......people tend to do that because they dont want face the truth.....ex....when someone is cheating the cheater will always blame there "girlfriends/boyfriends" for cheating......they have a guilty mind......

Answer 10

Tell this man to grow the flip up and start enjoying life with you or you can go and and find someone that will, and be careful if he has already been caught trying to find sex for money you never know what it is he is bring home on his dick!