I have a friend at work who was pregnant and had a miscarriage, but I didnt know, and asked her how the baby was... The she told me about the miscarriage. I said Im sorry, and hugged her, but then had no idea what else to say. What do you say in this situation to console the person?
2007-05-31 20:01:29 · 8 answers · asked by recklessdreamer 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Honestly, there is nothing you CAN say. this person will have to heal on her own, and nothing anyone else does or says will honestly make it any better. It is a deep and prfound loss when your baby dies inside you, and no one but the mother can understand. it would be best if you were simply kind to her and didn't mention it again, because any well-meaning comment such as "You can always have another one" or "It just must not have been meant to be" will probably only make her feel worse. Just be a friend to her. You're doing the right thing.
2007-05-31 20:05:07 · answer #1 · answered by grayhare 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Say what you would say if it was an older child or parent. Ask her how she is doing and offer her help. Listen if she wants to talk about the baby, don't push if she doesn't. While she may not have had the chance to hold the baby, she did have a chance to become attached and love the baby. We even know a little bit about their personality before they are born. You did the right thing, a miscarriage is a death, many women don't want to talk about it. It is really tough to know what to say or do, it is a pain we don't even want to imagine.
2007-05-31 20:14:06 · answer #2 · answered by Momofthreeboys 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I did the exact same thing to a co-worker once I felt awful I said sorry like you and dropped it but it still bothered me that I was so insensitive but I didn't know but I felt so bad untl I miscarried last month. People ask and I tell them and they say sorry and then they stare at me with this blank look. I don't get upset because I fully understand. This friend of yours probably does to. Just don't bring it up anymore unless she does wanting to talk about it.
Good Luck you did the right thing!
~Sarah
2007-05-31 20:09:49 · answer #3 · answered by Saerah 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a miscarriage last August and my co-workers already knew i was pregnant,so it was hard every time they asked me about how i was doing - had to tell each one what happened and it did hurt. I could tell how sorry they were for me and one of my colleges was really sweet to me in the next Weeks, taking me out to lunch and making me laugh. Just be there for your friend, be gentle when you talk to her and make her smile. It does help.
2007-06-01 01:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by Rosemary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say how much you feel her pain, and how you'll be there to listen to her.
Listening is better than speaking. Makes that other person feel more better about the situation.
Don't give her pity, thats the last thing she wants, just give her your support as a friend.
2007-05-31 20:05:20 · answer #5 · answered by Mummy 2 Lorenzo 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
you did the right thing by saying sorry that is all i would say i would not bring it up agine.
2007-05-31 20:04:37 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there if they need or want to talk,...
2007-05-31 20:04:46 · answer #7 · answered by *edb* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT YOU DID IS OKAY
2007-05-31 20:13:55 · answer #8 · answered by Kiki2007 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋