We just got in a huge fight and..?

Question

i don't understand how everytime i try to avoid arguing she still presses me to the point where she knows I am going to argue with her. she had the nerve to tell me she will put me out and still make me pay bills, yeah right! (talking about my fiance and me, she already had a son and we have one together, and in the process of moving in together and we got in a fight), I admit I was in the wrong but was it really worth taking it to as far as "I won't talk to you then! we can just live under the same roof and, you can take care your kid and I can take care of mine!" I love her so much but I just don't understand why when she gets mad she says things that she knows will hurt me horribly, is this normal for women? (No offense ladies) I know she loves me but why does she say these things? I really want to marry this woman but I don't know how much longer I can take this verbal abuse

Answer 1

This is known as what we call a RED FLAG....you are not married....Take care of the kid and limit her.

Answer 2

There are 4 signs of a controller. First if you don't comply, it is name calling if that doesn't work it is on to # 2 which is belittling and guilt tripping and if that doesn't work # 3 is anger , if that doesn't work then its last, but not least, the ultimate #4 which is abandonment or at least the threat of it.
She is a controller.

No it is not normal for anyone. Just her way of trying to climb to the top of the heap and have all the power. She knows you will give in, because she hits you with the fear that she will separate from you if you don't do what she wants.

You could use reverse tactics on her. Right now she thinks she has you emotionally right where she wants you. Turn it around on her. Next time she threatens you with putting you out, go start packing your bags. Turn the tables on her.

You could also go on line to 'abusive relationships' and learn more about it. Emotional abuse is just as bad as any other kind, maybe worse, because the blows don't show up on your body. So the damage done is not near as obvious.

Do a lot of research on the subject of abuse. You will be armed with knowledge and that will give you a lot of help.

Answer 3

Shes not old enough or mature enough, but to the defense when people are upset they say things they dont mean,but bringing in the kids, dividing them as yours and mine is wrong. You have a child together and want to marry her so your intention is to be a family, all of you included. Shes immature tell her that she hurts your feelings and give her a reality check, tell her your a good man, you dont like to argue, she needs to learn to talk, communicate with you if not you will take "your son" and move on that you want to love her and be with her and raise your children together but not under these circumstanes, have this talk when both of you are calm and in a good mood.

Answer 4

Press costs!? He almost assaulted you! You boyfriend become, morally and probably legally fantastic to do what he did. the way that guy become going would were rather risky. If someone a lot as lays a finger on you (quite with peoples bias even in court docket of a football participant being superior than a lady), you'd be considered the sufferer. If i become on your boyfriends footwear, i'd have done the exact same difficulty. supply him a intense 5 from me! i do not imagine there's a lot you may do to assist, except be there to help your boyfriend and provides you a correct account of what occurred, emphasising the advances this synthetic on you. also, if the different guy attacked first, this is truthfully self defence, and in the adventure that they press costs, you may likely counter charge for attack.

Answer 5

People say mean things in anger. And, most of the time they don't really mean it. Give yourself and her a little time to cool off. Then, sit down and talk to her. Tell her that when she says mean things like that it really hurts your feelings and makes you question her intentions. You can't have a good relationship without communication. Express yourself to her. If she still doesn't get it and wants to act hateful.. maybe the best thing for the both of you is a separation. It could just be that she has a lot of stress on her (no excuse though). You won't know for sure why she acts that way unless you sit her down and have a heart to heart and ask her. Best of luck to you =)

Answer 6

Have you consider that even if the two of marry, things are not going to change. Consider taking up her offer and taking your son and moving out, if you signed a lease you will need to continue to pay for it, put you can have the utility bills and phone taken out of your name. Consider doing the mature adult thing and take your son and support him, life is not going to be any better with her. Just because you love someone does not mean you can live with them.
I wish you the best.

Answer 7

I guess I'm in the minority here. I just don't handle irresponsibility well.

People that say they say mean things and can't control it because they were mad is a cop out. They want to be cruel and rude and not be responsible for what they say. Excuses. This way they can claim to be victims of circumstances. BULL.

People need to take responsibility for what comes out of their mouths. If they truly can't, then it's something they need to get taken care of and the last thing they need to do is get married. They are not mature enough for this. Sorry, I can't stomach this 'poor me' mentality anymore.

Answer 8

I think that like most people, she is saying things to make you mad just because she is mad but doesn't really mean it. I think it goes for both sexes, not just women.

My advice? Just walk away from the room and talk to her the next day when you both are calmed.

Answer 9

It's not just women who say things they don't mean. And yes, you're right...she's just trying to make you mad but can feel bad afterwards if she's that type. n

Answer 10

The two of you should see a marriage/couples counselor. These services are available on a sliding scale (cost) bases so you can definitely afford it. And, if you are seriously thinking about marriage, definitely get counseling. If you are having serious communication issues now, what makes you think marriage will cure them?