Do you believe that there is a difference in "loving" and "being in love"? I don't. I think it is lusting for one more than another. Or, better to say, "I like you; but, I don't love you." What do you think?
2007-05-31 19:45:13 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You guys are missing the mark! You've been with your spouse and they announce one day that, I love you, but I am not in love with you. Is this person saying essentially, they care about you, but not enough to say married? I suggest they are lusting after another or the fire has just died out and they think that constitues, "I am not in love with you". Is this a valid reason to reject a person and get a divorce?
2007-05-31 21:37:22 · update #1
I think the person saying this really doesn't love you. Except they don't want to hurt you. These words are confusing and you have to be able to read between the lines. They don't want to commit and want to continue stringing you along. So be smart and quit while your ahead. He does not love you. It's time to move on,.
2007-05-31 20:09:48 · answer #1 · answered by raquel g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do believe there is a difference.
For me, being in love is that one emotion that you cannot control. You think about this other person constantly; you would do anything for them. It's that romantic, deep feeling that you would have for a boyfriend or husband.
Loving someone is different because there is no fireworks when you're with this person. All you have is this genuine care for their well-being. This is more of what you would feel for friends and such.
As for this difference as an excuse, it's pretty bad. You deserve more than just this line if you've been together for long. On the other hand, if you haven't been together for a long time, "I like you but I don't love you" is more true (but not any better)
2007-05-31 20:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by dragon_hype 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a choice and principle. It is not a feeling. The physical feeling is part of the attraction for mating. Also, it is tied to emotional feeling as a result of someone making the choice to love you even when they are not "in love". Being in love is a romantic feeling(could also be more than that) that fluctuates. You cannot follow feelings it comes and goes and is just a part of life, no matter who you're with. Recognizing this is the mature thing to do. My fiance and I use to use this line with each other when we are angry and sometimes tired of seeing each other...or sometimes when he does something annoying or did something that turn me off. Sometimes the feeling would last for a week or so....then we would be "in love" again. We spoke to mature, well meaning experienced couples who were married for years and they told us exactly what i mentioned earlier. No couple can excape that feeling. What keeps us together is recognizing this and getting past it. Find out what is causing you both to feel this way. There is a difference is Loving and being in love. One is giving and the other is recieving and enjoying the moment. Anyone who says that they don't love you, makes the choice not to. If they make it based on their feelings, be glad, for that person is not the one for you. That is convenient love and it's really not love at all.
2007-05-31 20:01:46 · answer #3 · answered by L L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely believe you can love someone and not be "in love". I don't associate being in love as a lustful thing (maybe because I'm a girl). It is when I cannot keep my mind off of him or I can never get enough of just being near him. My heart flutters and I just feel great inside thinking of him. I know this sounds like puppy love, but I still am very much in love with my husband like this after 8 years together. In your instance, however, if it is an excuse to break up then yes, I think saying I like you, I don't love you, is appropriate.
2007-05-31 19:54:39 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its happened you love that person, you care but you feel something is wrong or missing and you know you arent in love. I think it happens alot, more often than people think. You become complacent stuck in a comfort zone with someone and you know you like them alot or even love them for being so kind, and loving you and you wish you could love them too but you dont. Chemistry has to be there all of it, and yes i think sometimes people lust and thats all they got is sex once the sex is over they have nothing except sex.
2007-05-31 19:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a difference between "in love' and real love.
"In love" are the feelings from the very beginning of the relationship, when you are infautated with each other, couldn't keep your hands off each other and always wanted to talk on the phone with that person.
"real love" is the love you feel even after all of the ups and downs of the relationship, especially the downs. I think the relationships worth having will have their ups and downs.
You can love a person but not like them very much. I think it also works as you like the person but not love them in that way.
2007-05-31 20:16:17 · answer #6 · answered by smileygurl80 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Peopledo not understand that being in love is a FEELING that is based on how the other person is treating you. The moment that your partner does or says something that you don't like they fall out of love with you. I think it is a crock. Loving someone takes work a puts the other persons needs before your own if you can do that for someone then you love them. It's an action wordlove is not a feeling.
2007-05-31 19:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by Esoteric 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you can love but not be in love with someone. My x and I dated on and off for 10 yrs. We loved each other and still do as we remain friends but the spark or desire to be with just one another was lost along the way. Now my current boyfriend, I love with all my heart and I am in love with him. Everything about him makes me want to be with him for the rest of my life. I cant picture my life without him in it on a daily basis. I think its a lot more than lust.
2007-05-31 19:50:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yep, I think there is. Think of it this way - you start dating someone, experience the initial head rush of meeting someone new that you're compatible with. You grow to love them dearly, enjoy being with them - but you realise that the person is just a really good friend, almost sibling like. Wouldn't you consider that as a difference?
2007-05-31 20:03:42 · answer #9 · answered by Jade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess I am a weird because I understand the meaning.
You love your parents, grandparents and some of your friends, but you are not in love with them. To love someone enough to be married to them is different from loving someone as a friend.
2007-05-31 19:56:17 · answer #10 · answered by oldcorps1947 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋