why is there shame in this ? Isn't it a safeguard against diseases and unwanted pregnancies ??
2007-05-31 19:41:49 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is No Shame in waiting for marriage. You absolutely right that it safeguards against disease and unwanted pregnancies.
2007-05-31 19:44:04 · answer #1 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 7⤊ 3⤋
I don't want to sound cynical, but is it possible that whoever tells you there is something wrong with waiting has an ulterior motive? If you are hearing that from a boy, there is no doubt that he has an agenda.
Do what YOU think is right, according to your own religious and family and personal beliefs. Anyone who makes fun of your decision to remain a virgin until marriage (if that's what you decide) is no friend--and certainly not worthy of your love.
You know, in some societies men will not marry a woman UNLESS she already has had a baby, because that proves that she can and the marriage will not be childless.
In some societies, including our North American tradition, babies should have a mother and father to look after them and that usually means waiting until marriage to have sex. The danger in sticking to that is that sometimes young people get married too soon.
Your life. Your values. Your beliefs. Your call. Nobody else's.
2007-05-31 19:52:17 · answer #2 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with this!! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I don't think it's a matter of what's wrong and right, but more of a matter of what people want and don't want.
Some people choose to view their virginity as this gift that only their "other half" should receive. They want to wait for that moment in their life when they are in love and ready to take part in sex.
Some choose to lose it before marriage because to them, it's not about waiting until they are officially "husband&wife" to give this gift. They know when they're in love and they know that whether there's a ring on their finger or not, it's not going to change them giving their virginity up.
And some, just lose their virginity, whether love is a factor in their decision or not. Sometimes, having sex is the "thing" to do. Sometimes it's pressure from friends already having sex and not wanting to be left behind. To them, sex is just sex.
People who wait until they're married--it's not shameful. It's different. In today's times. I mean, if you traveled back to several decades ago, you have to wait until you're married to have sex otherwise your image is tarnished. Now, everyone's pretty much all had sex before marriage. So those who wait, are just simply different. And people in general, don't deal well with difference.
2007-05-31 19:50:22 · answer #3 · answered by dragon_hype 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There is no shame in waiting. There is a shame in stating that you've gotten some disease that you can never be rid of. There is always a chance of pregnancy. Remember once you start, you can't ever go back. You can stop, but then people will talk about that as well.
Stand strong. People will always talk, you have to be confident in your own choices.
2007-05-31 19:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by little black dress 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am proud to say that my husband and I were virgins when we got married! :0) It wasn't easy, but because of our love for each other and God, we made it official before we "made it."
We gave each other the most special gift that we had to offer- the sex wasn't fantastic that first night, but we worked really hard and practiced so much that it's incredible now! :D
You don't need to "test drive" first- that's a ridiculous attitude that many use to justify immorality and promiscuity. If you truly love a person from the inside out, then the sex will be wonderfully fulfilling and enjoyable, whether or not you got to "try it out beforehand."
The biggest sex organ in the body isn't the penis or clitoris- it is the brain- so if you are truly connected to a person, mind, heart, soul and body, then it will reflect in your sexual life.
Good for you for deciding to wait! It's the most precious thing you can do for yourself, and it's pleasing to God.
Besides, it's an excuse to practice as much as you can on your honeymoon! :-p
2007-06-01 05:34:40 · answer #5 · answered by danni_d21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with it, especially if you are in love and are religous. Some people, shadey people or people who are way beyond damaged goods think you should test drive the car before you buy it to avoid future dislikes but marriage isnt all about sex anyway its about communication, communicating your needs,wants, desires , likes and dislikes. You are a diamond in the rough and you are right there are so many diseases and unwanted unplanned children out there and never mind the single parent rate out there hence the expression "baby mamas". Im glad you have more respect for yourself and your partner, virginity is not something you can take back
2007-05-31 19:47:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋
It is only wrong if you are doing it for someone else and not for yourself. I was a virgin on my wedding night and the sex was great. Don't live your life for someone who is pressuring you, for your peers to revel in your doing it early, or for anyone other than your own comfort.
My reasons were religious ones. It was not to please my parents, although they were delighted. The only shame involved is this whacked out society that believes a biscuit has to be passed around a few times to make sure it taste good.
Let me tell you this, there is PRIDE in having the discipline to wait for marriage to have sex. If someone is willing to wait for that with you, you better believe they really care for you as a person and not as a 'sample' of the sex adventures in life.
Other added advantages are that if you have sex with just your spouse, there is less likely a chance for cheating to occur in that marriage because of the 'special' bond that you share. We don't even need to mention the unwanted pregnancies or diseases, these are common sense reasons.
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HAPPINESS. So, bunk on those who think you listen to a different drummer, YOU DO AND IT IS OK! BE PROUD THAT YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER YOU SEX URGES...SOMETHING FEW PEOPLE CAN BRAGG ABOUT.
2007-05-31 19:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
WOW! What an honor for your wife! Not only to give her the greatest gift of your soul but your body as well. To be able to tell your wife that you saved yourself to honor her and because you loved her so much, you were willing to wait just for her. All this and you didn't even know her yet. This is truly amazing! I wish all people were like this. You are an inspiration to all. Now this is what I call a REAL man.
2007-05-31 20:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by califdreamer_2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. There is nothing wrong until waiting for the honeymoon to make love. It doesn't matter whether it's your honeymoon or not, if you truly love the person you are with, because it's love in its purest form. Actually, exploring and making love before the marriage night, while you're engaged, helps you better to connect with the person you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with. It also takes a little stress off the marriage day. You and your soul mate won't have to be nervous and stumbling around trying to make it the "perfect night", for it'll be natural to know exactly how to satisfy each other if you have already been together.
2007-05-31 19:51:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until you're married. You shouldn't worry what other people say and do. They are the ones to suffer the consequences of SID and unplanned pregnancies. Be proud of who you are and what you stand for...she will too. People that 'brag' about 'trying before buying' are only attempting to justify their reason for being promiscuous.
2007-05-31 20:07:25 · answer #10 · answered by Rocky 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋