Why do people expect me to stay handicapped for the rest of my life?

Question

Yes, I have a mental illness, but that shouldn't stop me from working, should it? I'm tired of living off of SSI & Social Security all the time. Where is $643/month gonna get me? & they call it a benefit. I'd rather work & make more money. I know plenty of people with mental illnesses who have children & jobs & manage very well. Why does no one want me with children or a job? Yes, I know it's stressful, but I want to be ABLE-not disabled. & people contradict themselves by saying I use my disorders as a crutch or excuse, but they don't want me to live a normal life.

Also, I'm starting school again, & people are trying to talk me out of going to school, telling me I'm not mentally capable.

Answer 1

Come on!!! You could communicate your ideas better than many other who consider themselves healthy and bright!!!
Go on, you can do anything you want. Your message shows intelligence, power, dignity, honesty... Don't hear those who try to make you feel bad. Nothing valuable is easy, but you will find great opportunities because you can see what no one else can see. YOU ARE A GREAT INSPIRATION FOR EVERYONE OF US!! YOU CAN DO IT!!

Answer 2

Some people still have the wrong idea about disabilities as I prefer to use. As it put people like us as people first.

A disability employment agency will help you find a suitable job for you. Also are there any exercise that could help with your disability.

Also have you found something your gifted in. For me it is art and apart from working around 9 hours on the weekend at Mcca's. I also paint 2 days a week. And at the moment I along with a few other artists are working on illustration that introduces children to disability awareness.

Answer 3

$643/mo is only fine when the house is paid for and your spouse is living from the high end of the hog. Where have these people been? They'll walk over glass to help the Jim Morrisons, Janice Joplins, Jim Hendrixs and Kurt Cubines of the world. All of them died at 27 due to self-destruction at that. However, they won't help a handicap person unless he can come up with a theme for "Designing Women".

Answer 4

I myself have had tod eal with the same dillema as U all my life. People being pessimistic about what might get better eventually.I suffer from high fuctioning autism.I had to fight to get the things I have today.Even so,I'm still not happy with my life.It's the so-called 'disability rights' crowd that is actually doing this to us,because they feel it is society that is the problem,U know the 'politacally correct'crowd who keep trying to tell us regular folks how to live.They don't want us cured of our disabilities because if it did actually happen,then their world view would then be delegitamized because people don't want to be lesser than anybody else.It's not capitalism or the american way of life that is at fault,but just human nature,the way people in general tend to be.I'd say to hell with the people around U,just go and do want U belive for yourself is right.And just by doing that,U R sure proving them wrong in the end.Don't let others hold U back.Just follow your dreams.

Answer 5

Im sorry that some people treat you that way. My friend's younger sister is in the same boat. But she was able to get into a specialized program for mentally "dis"abled kids. They taught her work skills, and how to live on her own. She graduated high school last week and is moving into her own apartment next month and I am SO proud of her!!! I hope that you can find what you need to succeed in life and for not accepting others opinions on what you can and cannot do. Congratulations on going to college!

Answer 6

You are mentally capable of school. Please don't let anyone tell you that you are not. It doesn't sound as if you have very supportive people in your life. I hope that school goes well for you. Think positively and you will do well. You will meet many new people there who will have a positive influence on your life. You need to be around positive people.

Answer 7

What type of mental handicap do you have? I guess they expect you to be that way because they're use to you being that way i dont know, wish i could help. my brothers autistic and he gets money from the government every month

Answer 8

I tell ya one thing, u may have a mental disability, but the way u have articulated is much better than the supervisors and managers at my job. Try moving away from those that discourage you.

Answer 9

Years ago I decided the best thing I could do for myself is to get rid of the negative people in my life.

To be fair I talked to all of them, wrote letters to some I felt couldnt handle what I had to say face to face, and basically said:

"I have decided that I need to rid my life of negativity, this includes people I care about but who have developed the habit of telling me I cant do things, and criticizing me for the way I manage my life, mother my children and those of you who seem to feel I am in some way responsible for becoming Disabled. I dont need this constant negativity in my life, its making me very unhappy, its making me doubt myself.

I would dearly love to keep all of you in my life, however when you phone me I will hang up if you become negative. Please take this seriously, because I mean it. "

I had to hang up on my mother a couple of dozen times before she got the message. I would just say "You are being negative mom, love you, dont want to hear it, bye" and hang up. She finally got the message and our whole relationship changed.

A few people I just didnt hear from again, but I feel if they couldnt change and be there with positive support and reinforcement then who needed them anyhow?

Some people are just negative people and automatically oppose everything others say or want to do. Weed them out of your life.

Probably some people are afraid you will fail and be hurt in doing so. Some are probably trying to protect you from added stress, work etc. Being aware of your disability and managing your life accordingly isnt using your disability as a crutch, its just being smart. You cant be all things to all people. Disability is never black and white, but so many people cant see the grey.

You know what you can and cant do.

Go for it ! Be honest with yourself about what limitations you do have. In my case the mind is willing and eager to take on new challenges but the body is weak - I have had to learn to admit "I cant do it, no matter how much I want to." So I aim a little lower, be realistic and not set myself up for failure. I dream little dreams now.

I can no longer climb mountains but I can still appreciate the beauty of them from level ground.

Start out with small steps, set realistic goals, pace yourself, and believe in yourself.

Reach out to positive supportive people, join a support group, make friends on the internet who are there for you, even if you never meet FTF. Find people who understand the difference between "managing" and "using your disability as a crutch or excuse".

There may be tough days ahead when you feel overwhelmed, so have that support there for you when you need it.

Allow yourself to have doubts and maybe even setbacks, it doesnt mean you should give up - you appear to have a strong spirit that says "I can do it, I am going to try and do it." So go for it !

You DONT have to be disabled your whole life. Find your niche and things will happen for you. I like your attitude that you are going to make this happen for you and not just sit around letting people "help you", label you, and hold you back.

Good luck !

Answer 10

Who is telling you not to go to school?
You have a mind of your own, use it.
Perhaps for now your caretakers do not want you to lose the SSI income, they want the $$ so they can support you.
Find a way to be able to support yourself so you can be independent and make your own decisions.