Is it normal to have a crush over a guy while I am married happily with 2 kids?

Question

I am 32 years old, happily married for 5 years, have 2 kids, my husband is a very loyal and loving person. I am a postgrad student and found myself to have a crush over a "genius" professor of my faculty. He is about 55+ years old,
simply its clear that theer is no sexual fantasy I am having, the problem is, whenever I meet him, I feel tears in my eyes, trembling and suffocating..........all the teen love symptoms!
I want to get rid of it, i try to avoid his paths, he treats me as a student, there is nothing from his side, I have small crushes previously, and I know how to tackle these. But this time, its something different!
I feel so guilty about it, feels like I am deceving my husband.
Anyone has any suggestions? Its been there for 6 months.

Answer 1

I think chemical attraction is a real thing. But since you are married, you have to deny yourself these feelings. Best to stay far away from him so that you do not defile your marriage. Just because you are married doesn't mean you won't be attracted to other men. You just have to know you can't act on your attraction and avoiding them is the best medicine.

Answer 2

Crushes are normal. You need to write down everything about the man you find attractive and then ask yourself is your husband any of these things. Chances are he's probably not. You can not make your husband into something he is not, but you can act out your fantasies with your husband. Play teacher/student with him. Let him be the "professor" and you a naughty student for cheating on your test. Find a way to transfer what your feeling for the professor to your husband.

Answer 3

People are complicated and they are always trying to sabotage themselves and they don't even know it. This man represents something to you (and whatever it is has very little to do with him). He could represent the success you want in your field of study, he could represent insecurities you have about your marriage or he could represent issues you have with going back to school and feeling like you are neglecting your family. The easiest way to get over it is to come to terms with the fact that it is not him (his mind, body, sense of humor etc.) that you are attracted to. If your university offers free counseling I would recommend talking to someone. Just opening your mouth and saying the words will help. Don't avoid this guy, when you encounter him take a deep breath and control your heart rate, and breathing. Look him in the eye and pretend that you feel nothing. Avoiding only reinforces your crush like responses.

Answer 4

I had a crush on one of my professors in graduate school as well and she was a very good mentor for me academically. I couldn't look her in the eye, either. I had not met anyone like her before. You are probably seeking validation as a post-grad student from someone who is charming and who you academically admire. Your husband can not do that for you. He is not a professor in your department. Your children don't even have academic degrees:-)

Of course it is normal for you to have a crush. Nothing to be ashamed of, but not something to announce, either. No need to tell your husband of your guilty feelings. It is a matter to keep close to the heart, the type of things people used to keep in diaries, when such things were written. As long as you don't act on it, you'll be fine. You are decieving no one.

Answer 5

Neeta dear.. Well its actualli normal for human beings to have crushes and the important is on how you handle this small crushes..
I have no experience in this but what i feel is you got to get your attention on something else.. Try to call your hubby and be loving so that you feel you have the special attention from your husband side..
Keep on repeating in yourself that he is ur Proffessor and nothin much.. Keep on doing this and i hope sooner or later you will be ok..

Sorry if my answer doesn't help you ya.. Take care

Answer 6

Whatever you do, do not tell you husband. Yes the guild can be hard to deal with, but as you don't do anything you really don't have anything to be guilty of. No need to punish him for how you feel, all that will do it hurt him. You don't want to hurt him do you?

It's normal to have a crush on someone at any age, it's what you do about it that matters.

Answer 7

Doesn't have to be a crush. I would call it more like starstruck. Depending on what you are studying and how into the subject you are it's kinda common especially if there is no physical attraction. You're intrigued by his brain but learn to distinguish that from what you feel for your husband and you should be fine.

Answer 8

It's absolutely normal to have a crush on someone else. We're all human beings. But you should not act on the crush. You love your husband, you have 2 kids. Leave the crush as it is... it will pass.

Answer 9

I feel for you...I am happily married as well but find myself with a huge crush on a guy that plays on my co ed softball team. I find myself fumbling and sweating every time he is near me! Maybe you are attracted to the fact he is in a leadership position and is very intelligent to boot. Don't worry it will go away with time!

Answer 10

Having crushes on someone else doesn't mean you going to jump this person, means that you are alive with your senses, the chemistry for another person is normal, and sometimes is healthy, because i bet that make you feel more hot when you are with your husband.