If you truly and unconditionally love?

Question

your husband/wife, bf/gf or significant other, would you EVER cheat on them?

If you're the one being cheated on could you.....
A. Forgive them
B. Stay with them
C. Trust them again

Would it matter to you and your decision to stay in the relationship if it was a 1 night stand or an emotional & physical relationship that lasted some time?

Upon discovering an affair would you want to know the depth of it or do you believe that any form of cheating is enough to end the relationship?

Thanks for your time & input

Answer 1

I'm married and I would never cheat on my husband. I think that there is no excuse for adultery if you are contemplating cheating becuase you are unhappy them you should tell your partner that things need to change or you should leave. Adultery is the most devestating thing that can happen to a relationship.
I speak from experience. Seven years ago my husband and I were going through a very difficult time in our marriage. He was very unhappy. He felt that I put others before him and had no respect for his feelings. Because of this our marriage became intolerable. We didn't speak to or touch one another. My husband would make little jokes about what he was going to do when he left me so one day I told him I'd had enough and I wanted a seperation. To cut a long story short after this decision things improved dramatically with us and I found out I was pregnant two months later. The week after I discovered I was carrying our child I found out that he had a mistress and that she was also pregnant !!!!!!.
At the time I was living in the U.S so two weeks later I returned home to the U.K. I blamed my husband for all of this I was TOTALLY devestated. Even though I had suspected an affair to find out that it was true and this way was almost too much to bear only the thought of my unborn child was enough to keep me going.
Two years ago my husband and I reconciled. I finally realised that although there was no excuse for what he had done I could understand the reasons behind it so I was able to forgive him. When we reconciled I did it mostly so that my daughter would have her father. Now I am so glad I took that chance because I am blissfully happy. I also raise the child he had with his mistress. His mother abandoned him and we have full custody although she has once weekly visitation.
It took me a long time to get over this, and it wasn't easy, finding out the person you love most in the world is betraying you is soul destoying. I personally think an affair is more devestating than a one night stand. In certain circumstances a one night stand could be a mistake ( as long as it was only one and not a string of them) don't get me wrong it is still a betrayal, but to have an affair is to consciously set out to destroy your marriage/partnership. You also have the added betrayal of sharing thoughts and feelings sacred to your marriage.
I hope this helps.

P.S I trust my husband because I know i will never allow my marriage to fall into such disrepair again, so there will never be any reason for him to cheat. Also he has most definetely learned his lesson!!!!!! He also knows that if it ever happened again in any way shape or form there would never be another chance, our marraige would be dead.

Answer 2

To say you will love your significant no more or less regardless of what he or she will do is a very bold statement. You would have to be an extremely forgiving and accepting person who isn't affected by change to truly love the other person unconditionally. I think loving a friend or a family member unconditionally is much easier than someone you are in a romantic relationship with. My mother and my best friend are the only ones I can say I've loved unconditionally. I can't say the same of anyone I've ever been in a relationship with.

Answer 3

First, I am married and I cannot ever imagine cheating on my husband. I have been cheated on in the past, and it was devastating.

If I was the one cheated on, I could forgive IF he was truly remorseful and took strong consistent steps towards regaining my trust and never repeating the mistake. We are married, and I think our marriage would be worth the effort. So yes, I'd stay and work on it. I would hope to trust him again, but it again wouldn't happen overnight. It would take patience and work on both our parts.

It would hurt far more if it was an affair of the heart in any way, shape or form.

I think I would want to know what I needed to know. That would come with the experience. There might be a lot I wouldn't want to ever know. It is hard to say without the experience.

My husband is the love of my life. I sincerely doubt he would ever cheat. We made a vow, and I have every intention of sticking to it. Because of those vows, and because he is my love and best friend, I'd try to work it out.

Answer 4

Other than between parent and child, unconditional love doesn't often exist. I know I personally will never have unconditional love for a partner or friend...there ARE conditions.

If I was cheated on could I
A. forgive them - No
B. Stay with them - possibly, but unlikely
C. Trust them again - doubtful

One night stand or longer term? One night stand would be the easier of the two...but it's still a lesser evil. Just a spur of the moment stupid decision doesn't excuse it.

Depth? If there were depth to it we'd be over for sure. If it was a stupid mistake we MIGHT be able to get over it...it would really depend on what other issues existed in the relationship at the time, among other things.

Chances are high that it would be a dealbreaker though. I'm 42, I've been single a long time, I refuse to settle, and I'm done putting up with shiot from anyone. I don't need a partner and certainly not one who will lie to me and betray me.

Answer 5

I always said that if my husband ever cheated on me that I would definitely leave him. Well, when the time came that he actually did cheat on me I decided to give him one "get out of jail free," because of the surrounding circumstances. (his single friends got him drunk and high and set him up to cheat on me so he would get caught and become single again)

This happened two years ago and sometimes I still obsess over it. I made sure that he told my family and his family what he did, just to embarass him. I also made him go to a clinic to get tested for STDs even though I knew that he didn't actually have sex with this woman but did other stuff besides.

It was a one time thing. If there were emotions attached to him and this other woman then I wouldn't have given him another chance. Emotional ties are harder to end rather than a man just cheating on you for the physical benefits.

A man who repeatedly is seeing another woman needs to be let go. A husband is allowed ONE mistake and after that there is no excuse. If he is repeatdly seeing another woman then he does not truly love his wife.

Answer 6

I would NEVER cheat on my husband/bf

I AM currently being cheated on by my husband (we separated by HIS choice, then I find out the next day him and a co worker had been "fooling around" for a week prior). I have already forgiven him, and I continue to forgive him every day. If he were to ever come back, and I was not in another serious relationship, FOR NOW, I would give him a second chance, but it would start with "dating" again. I would not move back in with him too fast. He would have to EARN my trust back.

I would want to know the depth of it.

Answer 7

I've been cheated on, and I did forgive him. It took a while, with a lot of effort but looking back I am glad I did.

My fiance and I had been together for 3 years. He was bored in our relationship; I was distant, and bored myself; we were drifting apart. He cheated, he admitted to it, and he shattered my heart. I immediately moved out, started making plans to find a new job, to up and move so far away he'd never find me again. I didn't want to leave, I only wanted to hurt him as badly as he had hurt me. I succeeded. I do believe he was honestly remorseful. I was gone for 3 weeks, he did nothing but dwell, leave me voicemails, emails, everything he could think of, begging me to at least talk to him. He'd have done anything to even so much as talk to me. Finally I caved in, I'd never seen anyone so upset; I was not even as upset as he was, and I was the one who had been cheated on!

I agreed to meet him in person. He took me out to dinner, we then went for a walk around the park, where he kissed me beside the Christmas Tree, and promised, that if I took him back he'd do everything in his power to make me happier than I'd ever been. It was the most amazing night of my life, like something out of a romance movie. After a 3 year history, I decided he at least deserved a chance.

He kept his promise. 7 months later, we are both happy, happier than we've ever been. We're more in love now than I could have ever imagined. Life... Is amazing.

Sometimes is takes a mistake to realize how good things are, or could be.
Sometimes it takes forgiveness, to be truly happy.

I'd never stand for it again, for sure. One chance, is his only chance. This has been made very clear; but somehow I know, deep in my heart, I just know I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Happy endings really do happen!!!

Best of luck to you and whatever your decision is. Follow your heart, that's the only advice I can give.


I use to always say; I'd never forgive anyone who cheated on me. The simple fact is, you can't say that until you've experienced it. Every situation is different, every person is different... Some are worth forgiving, and some aren't.

Answer 8

My ex husband cheated on me several times while we were together. The first time it damn near killed me. I couldn't eat or sleep, I cried all the time, I had to know all the details (which I probably would have been better off not knowing). The second time it just straight up pissed me off, I was done letting it make me feel bad. After that I expected it and was just waiting for a chance to leave. I don't know if that answers your question or not but it's my answer anyway.

Answer 9

i would never cheat on someone i loved.
it depends how the situation worked out if i would forgive them, but i'd definately want to know it in depth...if this is my bf or husband i have the right to know and we shouldn't be keeping anything from eachother. but, love is trust and if there is no trust, there is no love so i'd end the relationship.

Answer 10

If it was mutually agreed upon that we would be faithful to each other for the length of the relationship, then any form of cheating is enough to end the relationship.