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I've been very unhappy since three months after our marriage in 9/2005. I've told my husband a number of times that I want a divorce. Last July I moved out when our lease was up and I had to sneak to do it. He reeled me back in by asking for help with getting an apartment and then a truck, because his credit is bad.
I eventually moved back in, because he's not as good as keeping up with bills. I feel trapped and manipulated.

2007-05-31 13:41:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

18 answers

find a battered woman's shelter, you will find sanctuary there and be able to live for up to nine months ;in a place that he has no way of finding .so you can get back on your feet and your head straight without him, if you have kids they can come to.

emotional or mental abuse counts as being battered, you dont need to get a restraining order just get away

2007-05-31 13:52:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Honey, I have two words for you-- GET OUT! It is a good thing you feel trapped and manipulated. It is the first step out of the hole you have dug for yourself. I have seen this too many times. If you keep feeling sorry for him and "helping him out," you will wind up 10 years from now still with him and STILL UNHAPPY. Obviously he is an adult in legal senses, but he needs to grow up and learn to take care of himself. Now, if you feel that this marriage can still work and you feel that you two just need to work things out, then get some help. If you feel that it is beyond saving and you don't feel safe, pack your things, leave tomorrow, and file for divorce. You won't ever be happy if you say "Someday I'll get divorced. Someday I'll move out." If you keep saying someday, that day will never come.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that whatever you choose makes you happy, because that is what matters most.

2007-05-31 13:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by toothfairy 2 · 0 0

I do not mean to sound insensitive, but you have been manipulated....and you allowed him to do it. You knew he had bad credit, so why would you help him get an apartment and a car, knowing that if he does not pay....then you have to.

You need to get your name off of the lease if at all possible, and see what you can do about getting your name off the car payments so that you are not responsible for those too. He can ruin your credit if you leave, and your name is on the bills....if he does not pay, and why would he if your name is on them.....your credit is ruined, so get your name off everything and put it all in his and leave. Make sure that you do not fall for his mess again.....do not let him use you like this again.

2007-05-31 16:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0 0

This sounds like a co-dependent relationship. Look into it and find some support. Don't let people make you feel bad for walking away if you're not happy. Go now, before you bring children into the situation. I watched my Mom go back and forth to a husband who became increasingly abusive over their 14 year marriage. It will only get worse. He started out just being a jerk. The last time she left him, he broke her hip. Just avoid this road and go. Don't let people make you feel ashamed. Take care of yourself and your future. Then, take time and truly evaluate yourself before you undertake another relationship, because you are not faultless in this. You attracted him and made a commitment to him for a reason. That doesn't make you bad, but work on it, make sure that you don't make the same mistake twice. Good Luck!!

2007-05-31 13:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by lovestogarden 3 · 0 0

Hi,
Email me at TKu2thedj@aol.com. I have some ideas for you but need to know more first. How dangerous is he? Has he ever hit you or threatened to....or harmed you in any way? Does he say he will hunt you down if you ever try to leave him? Do you have the financial means to support yourself if you do leave. You don't need his permission for a divorce. Just fill out the papers state "irreconcilable differences". Then have him served by a third party not related to you. Also, get an "order of protction". I'll tell you more later.

Brian

2007-05-31 14:08:37 · answer #5 · answered by brian g 1 · 0 0

I would start putting money back somewhere find a job & a place to live. That is the worse feeling in the world. I went thru that for 14 years. I prayed night & day for 6 months & gOD 7 my ex gave me a answer. so i had a yard ssale & sold everything i had & filled up my car with bare nessities. That was 1 yrs ago. My life is so much better now. I don't live in fear anymore.TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE. If you remember that & pray you will be stronger everyday. E-mail me , if you need someone to talk to. BIG HUGS TO YOU!!!!!!
STAR

2007-05-31 14:00:41 · answer #6 · answered by texasstar1974 3 · 0 0

Just be real. Don't entertain his argumentativeness when you bring up divorcing him. Anyone who is willing to want to stay in a relationship with somebody who no longer wants to be with them is some-what nuts in my opinion. So. Just leave. It is that simple you are looking for excuses not to if you say it is more complicated then that, unless you have children and there is an argument about who gets the kids and so on. BUt no kids>.. shouldn't be that difficult.

2007-05-31 14:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You are being manipulated and your allowing it by telling your husband "yes". If you want him out of your life you have to tell him "NO". Be firm and don't let him change your mind. If your unhappy and you stay it's your own fault. If he's dangerous then go to a women's shelter.

2007-05-31 13:58:31 · answer #8 · answered by Awdrat 3 · 0 0

Hey, I'm 25 n married too.
Well, firstly, u know that it is ur fault for allowing urself to be manipulated. Take that into consideration. Secondly, if u want out get out with all ur might. No sense in being controlled - fcuk him. Your intuition never lies sister - never lies.

2007-05-31 13:53:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I dont see anything about denialor even being dangerous here.What I see is a guy who has no idea how to handle his finances and needs you to help him out which wives usually do. You should have seen this before you married him. Rethink your reasoning on him and then re-ask it

2007-05-31 13:51:44 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0 0

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