Me and my ex husband is going thourgh divorce.... and we have a 5 year old child......i want my child to be with me and he wants him as well...... what does the law say ....that who should keep the child .... does first chose comes to mother of the child or father......?
help me plz ..... or i need to take a lawyer ?
2007-05-31 13:20:07 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What the working situation is, plays a big part of it... If he works 12 hours a day, the courts will unlikely give him physical custody... But if you are both working parents, typically the mother has pysical custody (in most cases)... But if you want to do things fairly and without attorney's, why don't you agree to having a schedule with one week on and one week off... You are sharing physical custody... I currently have that with my ex and I love it... it gives me time to do things and have some free time for myself... Think about it... is it worth spending all your money on attorneys... afterall... you are both his parents
2007-05-31 13:34:49 · answer #1 · answered by Oula 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not depend on the mother or the father thing, it ultimately depends upon who can provide the best environment for the child. NOTICE THAT I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT FINANCIAL OR MATERIAL POSESSIONS.
Laws vary from state to state. But for the most part, they do not take a child at that young from the mother, unless she is an absolutely unfit mommy. So get your ducks in a row. Make sure you have a job, a place to live, and a plan for raising this kid.
If he chooses to fight you for custody, you will have to go to court, and you should see a lawyer. In lots of towns, they have lawyers who do free consultations -- find one near you. Find one that practices family law. Go to the local family assistance center and ask for a referral.
Good luck!
2007-05-31 13:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You only need an attorney if he wants to fight you, and even then if he doesn't have any evidence that you are unfit as a mother, you could save a lot of money just defending yourself, or as it is called you are pro-per. Usually unless there is a fight, the judge will award the parent anywhere from the standard 70% to mom...30% to dad...or visa versa..so that the child will have a stable evironment, and not be bounced back and forth so much..that is very hard on a child...they need stability. If you wish to save 5 yrs. of attorney fees and fighting, which I might add, disrupts the child's life, I say the 2 of you should work out a plan and stick to it. I wish my ex husband was mature enough to have, it would have saved our kids alot of undue grief, and save a lot, and I mean a lot of money...Good Luck!
2007-05-31 13:31:54 · answer #3 · answered by buggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He isn't your ex, yet. You will need a lawyer to protect your rights. Already you have a conflict with custody. If you stay in the same neighborhood, you could share custody, but please don't think of doing this on your own.
A few decades ago, the judge always awarded the children to the mother, unless declared unfit which is difficult to prove. Now, men have a much better chance of custody. You need to consult a lawyer to protect your financial future and your child's custody.
Good luck.
2007-05-31 13:30:33 · answer #4 · answered by Ginger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get yourself a lawyer and for your child's sake, a law guardian (they will determine what is in the best interest of the child). Most judges will place the child with the mother, but it isn't always the case. Just talk to a lawyer and weigh out your options!! Good luck
2007-05-31 13:26:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll need to speak with a lawyer to find out the law in your particular state when it comes to custody. Usually, custody is granted to the mother, but the mother has to petition for soul custody, and if the father fights it, it'll be a long court battle. You'll have to establish a plausable reason for soul custody (like unfit father, etc.) and allimony will make a difference too. If he cheated and you prove it, that'll make a difference. Stuff like that. Whew... I hope I helped... Good luck!!!!
2007-05-31 13:26:58 · answer #6 · answered by Impavidsoul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The courts will award custody to mom unless shes ruled unfit by child and/or drug/mental charges and this has to be proven and not by hearsay. You will also get support, the house due to the child and possible spousal support.He will get state mandated visitation rights. You dont really need an attorney here unless you need one then Id contact a Paralegal as he/she is just as good as the atty and a whole lot less
2007-05-31 13:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A judge will decide!
Get a lawyer (you should already have one if you are going thru a divorce)!
The child will have a small say but overall, the mother usually wins, all other things equal.
Infidelity, drinking/drugs, etc. would obviously affect this.
2007-05-31 14:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by Matt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you're discussing custody and you and your ex can't decide, you'll probably have to take it to court...and the judge will look at who has the best home and family situation. Do you have a steady income and will you have time to spend with that child when you are home (how often will you be home?) ? What about your extended family? Will they support you when it becomes difficult to be a single parent? Then ask the same things of your ex...whoever looks better usually gets custody
2007-05-31 13:26:42 · answer #9 · answered by its about time 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One parent doesn't get first "choice" It's not like you're picking out a piece of candy or something and you get the first pick.
You need to go to court. The judge will decide who is best fit to have custody of the child, and the other parent will more than likely get visitation.
2007-05-31 13:27:14 · answer #10 · answered by glamergirl_89 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋