he works across the street from me , and i've had lunch with him twice. the second time he called me and asked if i would like to have lunch with him.i did. i'm very attracted to him , and we talk about once a week.he's smart , has beautiful eyes , and i enjoy being with him.we've never gone any place together other then having lunch in the work place.is that wrong? i would consider us friends that like each others company.
no hostile answers please, just honest opinions.
2007-05-31 12:35:35 · 15 answers · asked by pitbullmom 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i just find this so confusing . i find myself missing him , he works across the street , so i see him , his car , ect.
i do love my husband . i guess it's the attention.
2007-05-31 12:56:25 · update #1
Anything that you don't want your spouse to know whould be crossing the line.
2007-05-31 12:38:24 · answer #1 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Find a new lunch buddy fast, quick and in a hurry. Everyone always "thinks" they can handle a little flirting while married. The problem is... it starts to feel to good and better than the old ball and chain at home.
Save yourself, your husband and this man and his wife and any kids involved a lot of pain and avoid this man like the plague. Do not even be friends because you are attracted to him. Obviously, he is to you, too. That's exactly why this is so dangerous. WARNING, WARNING get back!!! You are entering an emotional affair at worst, that could easily turn physical, if it hasn't already. The two of you are feeling each other out to see who will cross various boundaries. DON'T DO IT GIRL! Run from this now and don't worry about how he'll feel, because in the long run, it'll be more awkward having to face his wife about this. Just start calling a girlfriend or have plans or be busy all the time. He'll get the hint.
I'm sorry this is happening and you might not see it now, because you're in the honeymoon phase, but you'll be better off in the long run if you don't continue this, it will never get any more wonderful than it is right now. This is a road down long suffering pain that is extremely difficult to return to a sense of stability in the aftermath. I'm talking from experience here.
Let's just say I almost went through a very painful divorce due to a little flirting that I thought was innocent enought that I could handle. Heed this advice if you don't listen to anyone else this entire year. I know what I'm talking about.
2007-05-31 19:50:33 · answer #2 · answered by Ky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have crossed the line emotionally, it seems. Physically, it would be where any part of your body merges with his for more than one second. Such as you rubbing yourself up against him or vise versa.
You are on very dangerous ground. There is not much between you and an affair at this point. The proof is: Would you tell your husband about this? Probably not. Would he approve? Probably not.
I am not judging you. Just pointing out the fact that you seem to want to have an affair. Make your decision, and live with the consequences. But don't string this guy out for much longer.
Also, workplace romances tend to end badly, from my experience. Good luck.
2007-06-01 07:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you even asked this question tells me that you are already feeling some guilt about the interaction you've already had with this fellow.
Cut it off before you do something you regret. Then, you need to have a serious talk with your husband, you know, the guy you promised to remain devoted too. You need to tell your husband about what has happened with the other guy and also that you are attracted to him. You need to tell your husband how important he and your relationhship is to you and if your needs are not being met your husband needs to know.
Just becuase you are married doesn't mean that you never feel lonely or have an attraction to anyone else. It happens because you are human. If your husband is not receptive to what you have to say, seek counseling immediately.
2007-05-31 20:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by lyricsop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're crossing the line now! Putting yourself in a position of getting to know him better, and being "VERY" attracted to him, on top of that, is really gambling. Ultimately it's disrespectful of marriage. Also if people see you out with another man, it's an embarrassment, particularily if you're blatantly attracted to him, ie: staring into his beautiful eyes, and giggling and what not LOL... sorry.... but....
I will ask you this... How would YOU feel if your husband was going out for lunch with a woman that works across the street from him, that he is VERY attracted to... thinks is smart... with beautiful eyes that HE enjoyed being with?
You need to re-evaluate your marriage vows...
2007-05-31 19:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by ™Tootsie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Crossing the line is...
...doing something with a man that you would not want your husband to do with another woman. Is it OK for your husband to have lunch with an attractive woman with beautiful eyes?
...doing something that you do not feel proud of.
...doing something that you wouldn't want your mother, father, sister, brother, grandmother, etc. to know about.
...doing something that you don't tell your husband about because you know he will not like it.
This is a 'friend' that you said you are attracted to and sounds dangerous to me. Next time, invite your husband to go along!
2007-05-31 20:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by MNature 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it professional and you'll be ok.
Go beyond that and you just set off the fuse that will lead to disaster.
And you are right in noting, it's the attention.
You and your husband need to plan a getaway and get reconnected before it's too late. 'Cause once you cross the line, it's done.
2007-05-31 21:34:28 · answer #7 · answered by Mad Dog Martok 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are just having lunch it does not sound like a problem.
Do your spouses know you too eat together?
If not, are you purposely withholding this info?
If so, then it crosses over to being wrong.
There must be a hidden reason you wouldn't tell your spouse.
2007-05-31 19:44:13 · answer #8 · answered by Matt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A married woman who finds herself attracted to other men- not crossing the line.
Having lunch with a married man as friends-not crossing the line
Spending more emotional energy on this friend than on your husband-crossing the line
Ask yourself, "what is missing from my marriage, and what can my husband and myself do to make it stronger?".
2007-05-31 19:59:58 · answer #9 · answered by Jewlgrl 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think by you asking this question, you have already crossed the line. I think deep down you want more, you seem awfully attracted to him, and you know your thoughts are crossing the line. Avoid this man before you both cause trouble for each other.
2007-05-31 19:39:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you even look at another person lustfully you are committing adultery. Period.
You are treading on VERY thin ice. Sever this relationship and put the passion into your marriage.
2007-05-31 19:46:31 · answer #11 · answered by LilyBelle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋