how do you?

Question

how do you test a guys love for you? i wana test how much my boyfriend loves me, he doesnt show how much he loves me anymore now that weve moved in together. i miss how it felt when we first started i want to fall in love all over again.

Answer 1

Read the book "he's really not that into you" by Greg behrendt

Great book

Answer 2

That is like playing games, I would not do that and it will probably backfire. If you have been together a long time you get a certain comfort level. There is something to be said for that. Things become predictable and routine sometimes. That is normal. It is not a new relationship anymore. Often times, men become a little complacent in that area. They figure if they come home and treat you nice then that should be enough. They are really simple and easy to please for the most part. He can't read your mind. Tell him how you feel, go away together for the weekend. Or make a date at home with a candlight dinner and you can get some sexy outfit to wear. Sometimes you just have to reinvent each other. Most men are not going to inetiate that, you will have to do it. If you need constant reassurement then maybe there is a problem with your self esteem and you should consider counseling.

Answer 3

For me its kind of an everyday thing. Ya sure you can do a test or two which is TOTALLY fun.. you can pretend break up and stuff like that but you can usually tell if a guy loves you because of what occurs everyday. It's the little things that count. If you're not feeling the love then that doesn't nessessarily mean he doesn't. The flame might not be as bright but you should hope it's present. We all can't stay in the honeymoon period forever -where everything is new and exciting. But what you're left with is true genuine love. That question can only truly be answered by you.

Answer 4

Look, this is probably the most dissappointing answer you could want to hear: Although, you guys can make regular efforts to keep some romance going, the truth is it will never be quite the same again. He probably loves you, but men don't feel the need to repeat things they feel secure about. If he knows you love him and you will be there then he isn't insecure enough to throw out 'i love u' for the 'i luv u' return. I'm not suggesting for you to do anything too devious. All you can do is try and keep your relationship interesting and talk to him about how you feel about this so he knows that he also must make an effort on regular basis if he wants to keep you.
The truth is you only feel that 'spark' when the chemistry is new. That high is just like chasing any other high as with drugs. It's never as intense as it is that first time. Good.....but not unforgettably amazing or anything. Such is the human condition, to keep us wanting, to keep us miserable. When we can't have what we think might make us happy even if it is toxic to us is to live.
SO it comes down to 3 options for you. First, as above, talking and working on it, which is about the most noble option.
Two, find an alternate vice (drugs, drink, gambling, O/C...etc) knowing full well that it will only be a quick fix and you will build tolerance, just as in sexual chemistry and need more and more and more and never find satisfaction.
Three....you become a loner more or less, with the reputation of an easy lay, because to persue the sensation you are looking for, you will only find it in the arms of new strangers who will quickly loose their appeal after a few months apiece.

Good luck........like someone once said, "whatever doesn't kill you makes you wish it had."

Unfortunately, it is typically our nature to make choices
harmful to ourselves to attain pleasure, despite the
consequences, (which never seem significant relative to how
unfulfilled one is). Try to be the best sapien you can be and go with the high road on this one, is all I can suggest.

Find comfort in the fact that most of the population of your fellow humans are trying to cope with the same tribulations and some have far worse......so you are lucky.

Answer 5

When you are first in love, everything your lover does is cute, and they can do nothing wrong. This is infatuation. It cannot last forever, but matures into a deeper eyes-wide-open kind of love, if you're lucky.

Later you start to open your eyes a little. OK, he does tend to throw his underwear onto the chandelier and that's a little annoying when friends are coming over. So you talk about it. If you love each other you will find ways to accomodate each other.

You have to tell him what you need out of your relationship. Tell him that you need more attention. You need more passion. If he cares about you, he'll listen. He's not a mind reader, even though he loves you; so you have to not hint around but tell him outright what's on your mind.

Every relationship needs work. The way you will tell if he loves you is if it's worth it to him to meet you halfway. Don't forget that you have to work too.

Make sure you set one day a week for a date with each other. Meantime, practice doing one kind thing a day for them. It doesn't need to be a big thing. Even if they don't notice it. Have him try it too.

good luck. I've been doing these things for my wife for almost 25 years. It's been worth the effort.

Answer 6

I just had participated in a service on How to Fall in Love..Again.

You are most likely giving him what you need. Maybe if you find out what his emotional needs are he will be more willing to meet your emotional needs. In general they are as follows:

Her #1 Need- Affection...not an event. Hold her hand guys, open the car door, give her hugs and kisses.

His #1 Need- Sex

Her #2 Need- Conversation...talk to her about silly things like how your day was, what you did for lunch..etc.

His #2 Need- Recreational companionship- OK ladies..play those PS3 games or go bowling or to a baseball game once in a while.

Her #3 Need- Transparency- he should be honest and open..no secrets that she will find out about later

His #3 Need- Physical Attraction- keep yourself looking good ladies, if you work out keep doing so. Don't let yourself go.

Her #4 Need- Financial Security

His #4 Need- Domestic Security- ok..is the laundry done, food in the fridge

Her #5 Need- Family Committment

His #5 Need- Admiration..even if he puts the toilet seat down it's so kind of him. If he washes the dishes and wipes down the counter..GREAT!

Hope that it helps.

Answer 7

Ok, is there anything yall used to do and stopped doing since the two of you moved in together? If so, do it again. It sounds like the two of you are drifting apart and yall need to remind each other on a regualer basis of your love. Tell him how you feel often and ask the same from him. You do need to be reminded often. You should probably be more open about your feelings too. Talk about things with him and make sure yall share each others feelings with each other..

Answer 8

Go on a long trip together, like to another state. You will be surprised the stuff you will here and the honesty from the trip. The drive itself is enough to open your heart as well as his. It will be just the two of you in a place you have never been before, it will help in all areas of your relationship. Being together just the two of ya will kinda make the both of you turn to one another instead of running away from heartfelt questions and answers that you seem you want to ask him. Maybe too, you will see a side y from him you havent seen yet.

Answer 9

First, I strongly suggest you resist the urge to "test" his love for you. He's likely to see through it and feel like you're jerking him around.

Better than a test though is a conversation. Talk to him honestly about how you feel, and why it's important for you to experience love rather than simply hearing about it.

Tell him things that you value, and give him specific ways that he can show you love. (preferably not just buying you things or doing chores that you dislike)

Encourage him to be more romantic and tell him how much it means to you when he puts in that extra effort.

Most guys forget that romance is important to girls. During the dating stage they do it to cause the girl to want to spend more time with them. Once you move in he's already getting the maximum time investment out of you, so the romance dwindles.

Honestly, it'll benefit your relationship much more to talk than it will to test.

Answer 10

What you are missing is really hormonally based. I realise that relationships tend to cool overtime and the original romance seems to be lost. This is a natural progression and should not be feared. If you try to play games to force him to prove he loves you, you will damage your relationship guaranteed. Try another route ie... Great him at the door naked with a bottle of whipped cream.

Answer 11

You can't test that, it annoys guys, thy don't understand that they are being tested, its normal for that to happen after you move in together. Tell him, no games, exactly how you feel. If you're not happy, you'll know what to do. He probably just doesn't realise, men don't tend to be very vocal about that stuff
xxxx