Here's the story. She has boyfriend but her parents found out and BEAT her really badly. When I tried to say it was OK and things will get better she would say "no it wont, I don't want to live in my house no more. I just want to die." I'm really worried because the day after her parents found out she came to school with a big bruise under her eye; then she told me that her parents beat her and her dad kicked her in the eye. I don't know what to do! If i tell our counselor they will tell social services then take her and her 4 year old brother away. Or, if i don't tell she will be continually beat by her parents. I'm really scared because the weekend is coming up and I don't know what will happen to her. (please give me advice)
2007-05-31 12:30:27 · 36 answers · asked by Dj Danger 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Yes, I agree it is important to get help for your friend! You need to keep in mind that if you get Social Services involved, what happend is they stop b and see how th ehousehold is acting. Now provided there isn't an all out war occuring when they arrive, they will simply take some notes. The parents may get even angrier at her for this to happen and beat her worse. Find a plan for where she can go - does she have an Aunt or other relative she could live with while Social Services instructs the family to counseling sessions? Talk with an individual annonymously and find out what the best options are. Many kids have ended up dead while under Social Services supervision, and yes, they also save many, many lives. Just have a plan before taking action and you will help her in more ways than one.
And pray.
2007-05-31 12:50:10 · answer #1 · answered by AtLarge 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, Make SURE that she is actually being abused. I don't doubt that she is, but I was a teenager once and I've seen things that sometimes teenager do like beat themselves and make it look like and say that it was their parents, seriously... I'm not saying that your friend is one of those though, so talk to her when she is not so upset with her parents and find out what really happens. I've also seen situations where teenagers have been extremely disrespectful with their parents (physically aggressive) and certain situations are what I call "deserving of a beating", and by that I don't mean "sending" their kids to the hospital... My point is Make Sure that your perception of the situation and what your friend have told you is TRUE, so the situation doesn't get more complicated than it should.
Second, if you have witness this abuse or are positive that it is in fact happening then you should definitely report it. Reporting it doesn't necessarily means that Social Services will take both of the kids away, at least permanently. They should investigate and evaluate the circumstances first, and if they come to the conclusion that the kids are in danger then they will decide what would be best for the family.
2007-05-31 12:46:38 · answer #2 · answered by myliz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your counselor cant see a black eye then the counselor needs to be fired. I know her teachers saw it and asked about it.Im not saying what they did was right by any means, but if he had really kicked her in the eye ,id have to guess it was accidental or she would be blind.Did she attack them first?I know some teen girls have bad tempers?Did she push the issue with them? Usually when a parents object to a girl having a b/f, it isnt to be mean to her, its to protect her because they see and know things teens do not they have experience teens do not have and are better judges of character than teens.If it continues you need to tell someone.A kick in the eye isnt something to sneeze at and if they take her and the 4 yr old then realize YOU will be protecting them.If you do NOTHING then your no better than the abusive parents.
2007-05-31 12:37:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is serious stuff. Your friend needs to tell someone, and the counselor sounds like a good place to start or tell a relative who your friend can trust. No parent should beat their children. One time, is one time TOO many, and if this is a continual thing, someone's got to know about it. And her 4 year old brother might be in danger as well. No one should have to live in fear or live a "secret" life of a disfunctional family. I wish her luck and she is lucky to have a friend like you.
2007-05-31 12:45:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important issue here is her safety, If her parents are beating her she needs help, if this was a one time thing that happened, it could happen again. Yes you should report what you know to the conselor and let them question her and her parents and take the approprate actions, you could be saving your friends life and the life of the 4 year old also. If you are not comfortable handling this then talk to your parents about it
2007-05-31 12:37:37 · answer #5 · answered by kathy h 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They won't simply tell social services right away. Perhaps if you go to the right person they will help you. Someone, like a school counselor, would call social services, however another counselor could help by bringing in your friend and her parents and talking about it. If you can find a counselor like this, then I would go to him/her.
2007-05-31 12:36:10 · answer #6 · answered by Inkubus 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell. Social services would be the best person to tell. They will take the 4 year old child away, but that is a good thing. You really do need to tell though. You can't let your friend and her younger brother be beaten. If you love them, you will know that this is what's best for them. They won't understand now and probably be mad at you, but they will thank you later. You need to tell someone about it. Please, it is the right thing to do. Your friend really needs you!
2007-05-31 12:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by Bobert R. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If there was a thirsty dog on the road in the heat
you'd give it water, correct?
If there was a hungry kitten
you'd give it food, correct?
If you found a cat outside in the rain
you'd give it shelter, correct?
My point is you seem like a caring person that'll take care of things so, tell your counselor everything and the truth about everything.
Hope everything works out alright for you and your friend :)
-Unkown o.O
2007-05-31 12:37:12 · answer #8 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you sure? Just because she said her parents did it doesn't make it so. But if you are truly concerned for her... uou may want to mention it to a school counselor. Most abused children are not so willing to openly tell a friend. they usually try to hide the abuse. So before you put her parents through such an allegation...you better be sure.
2007-05-31 12:36:35 · answer #9 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you care, you should tell someone.
Abuse causes not only physical pain, but emotional pain as well, which can affect your friend's mental health.
And honesty, if you really care then I think you should tell someone. It can be embarrassing for the victim, and if they get removed from their parents it might upset them, but I believe in the long run it's for the best.
They need to grow up in a household where they feel safe, so they can grow up to be a healthy and happy adult.
2007-05-31 12:35:59 · answer #10 · answered by ki:ten 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋