I am two weeks out of a horribly dysfunctional realtionship. It was absolute hell. I was madly in love with the woman, and she treated me like dirt. I never came first, it was always her family. And she is nearly 30 years old and still lives at home. She lived with me for a year, then had to move home due to controlling parents, who are religious fanatics..because they kept interfereing in our business and ultimately destroyed the relationship.
After this, she and I got back togther and then she would just text me and split, and the cycle continued for the last 8 months. Coming back, and splitting. It was horrible on me. I lost 15 pounds, and I am w seeing a shrink. I feel like I really believed this woman would change, and I feel like such a failure. Why would I allow myself to be treated so poorly and keep taking it? What is wrong with me?
2007-05-31 12:28:34 · 3 answers · asked by fuji 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
there is nothing wrong with you...
you took a chance with love...that is what we do...we drop our defenses...we give our trust to another...and it is trully at their mercy that we are....if they chose to love us back, then great, if not...we are in for it...
but you are not the problem...you gave your heart to someone..and it was broken...
i'm sorry to know that you are hurting so much...but...if you read your question, you will see that based on what you wrote, she had an existing problem..and if she can't fix it, no one else will...some people are just comfortable living life without having to take any chances on their own..it's easier to have someone else control them..because when they fail, they don't have to take the blame or responsibility for anything..all she has to do is blame her parents...
you even said it...they destroyed it all...it's not her parents..it's her..if she was 15 then i can understand her saying that her parents did this to her...but as an adult, come on..she has no responsibilities...she lives at home, munching off others...and she is happy...if she wasn't then she would have been out like every other 30 y.o. woman....
just take time to heal...there are wonderful women out there, who will value and cherrish you....don't doubt it...don't look at this as you failing..just look at it for what it is, a relationship with someone that did not work...and move on...make sure that you do learn from this...choose your next mate carefully...based on what didn't work with this one...
and you are giving yourself the best gift...seeing a therapist is the best thing you can do for yourself and your future mate... you will come to term with this relationship...and be healthy enough to be in a new one...
best of luck...the summer is here, you should go shopping, get a new hair cut...and go out to meet and mingle...it's nice out, there are going to be beautiful women out there who do want to meet someone like you...don't pass this opportunity up...
2007-05-31 12:42:07 · answer #1 · answered by la21unica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think you can change her, you think that if you take it on again things will be different. What you need to realise is that she will only change if she needs to. I say f@ck her she isnt worth the **** she is putting you through.
I say get over her emotionally, then re-enter the game with a healthy amount of scepisism. Dont let it destroy your future relationships just enough to stop you from entering into another relationship like that.
2007-05-31 19:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully u have grown from this experience but please be careful not to become bitter over this experience just learn from it.
2007-05-31 19:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋