My husband and I have been having trouble for years. I have cheated on him 3 times (same guy). He knows about 2 of them and still wanted to stay and work things out. I love the other guy and we have started "seeing" each other again.
Hubby is very possessive and I feel like he is smothering me. He always has to know where I am going and when I'll be back. He calls me 4 times a day just to check on me. I haven't worked in over 10 years because he says he is the one who is supposed to bring in the money.
I just want to be happy is there anything wrong with that?
Any ideas?
2007-05-31 10:45:48 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No children.
2007-05-31 10:47:02 · update #1
We have talked several times about splitting up, he doesn't want to.
He has always called me that many times during the day, even before I cheated. Plus he works with the guy I cheated with, so he knows I'm not with him during the day!
2007-05-31 10:56:56 · update #2
The other guy and I have been seeing each other off and on for over 6 years.
2007-05-31 11:04:32 · update #3
Well since there are no children, I would say divorce. If you don't love your husband any more, or you want your space because it does seem like he is smothering you, then just let him know. Tell him this isn't working out and you need some you-time. But before you do anything, make sure that you aren't leaving him just because the new guy is fresh and fun and different, make sure it is because you really are unhappy with him, and that you do love this other guy.
I hope I helped.
2007-05-31 10:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by Needs Help..Gives Answers <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to sit down and talk with your husband. Have you told him any of how you feel.
Second, he has the right to question you since you have cheated on him. You need to stop seeing that other guy until you do something about your relationship with your husband. It is not fair to keep him hanging on if you feel you need to be with someone else. Until you end your relationship with your husband, then you have to stop seeing the other guy. It is morally wrong. Adultery is not the way to go. Did you know that God says that the only way two should divorce is because of adultery?
I would probably do the same thing if I were married and my husband cheated on me. I would call and check up on him if I forgave him and decided to stay with him. I would have the right especially if you two sat down and decided to make it work. Don't be around the temptation. Do what is right.
2007-05-31 17:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is smothering you because he knows your tendency to be unfaithful and he doesn't trust you, rightfully so!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be happy but cheating is only taking you from the frying pan (of being married to a possessive man) to the fire (cheating on your husband and involving a 3rd party in your deception)...you're not helping yourself be happy by complicating things like this. Own your feelings, tell your husband the truth and either reconcile your marriage or decide to divorce.
2007-05-31 17:51:57 · answer #3 · answered by juda75 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, how do you feel about your husband? Do you love him? Do you want to be with him? and if so, why?
If you cannot answer these questions in a positive way then it will probably be best that you and him go seperate ways.
Why do you keep cheating on him?
Its obvious that you dont want to be with him otherwise you would stay faithful to the person you exchanged vows with.
Spare him the grief and just leave.
2007-05-31 18:04:14 · answer #4 · answered by boomquisha 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love the other guy ...go ahead and divorce your husband and try to be happy and have a normal life .....But I do have to tell you that the odds of you having a happy ending with your guy are against you ...Big time !
But if you feel like you love him and He loves you back and wants to be with you ....I think it's just fair for you two to be happy !
Good luck !
2007-05-31 18:01:36 · answer #5 · answered by Juliet 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can't say I blame your husband! Why are you staying with him if you have to behave in this way? Give the poor man a chance to find someone who will respect him - sneaking around with someone else is dishonest and degrades the relationship with this man you say you love. If he's the man you love then you shouldn't be clinging on to someone else who you plainly don't love. Maybe you need to hedge your bets? Be honest and end your marriage. Cheating is despicable and cheapens a person.
2007-05-31 17:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by The librarian 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are being very cruel to him to stay in this relationship.
You need to leave him. The reason that he checks on you so often is because you have given him reason not to trust you. If you have not worked for 10 years, I certainly hope that the new guy is willing to support you or you are SOL.
2007-05-31 17:53:31 · answer #7 · answered by Collinwood 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you're retarded. he doesn't trust you and neither would anybody with any sense. do the both of you a favor and quit whoreing around, how long before you find a third guy cause you're tired of the second guy. you definately have some serious issues that aren't being solved by being in dead end relationships.
2007-05-31 18:17:30 · answer #8 · answered by burnttoast97 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes there is something wrong with that! You are married and having an affair! Why don't you just admit that you can't keep your legs closed and file for a divorce.
2007-05-31 17:57:23 · answer #9 · answered by QT 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you should really get a divorce.... i knw its sad because he loves you and wants to see it work...but that is not making you happy...and if it has become like taht is for a reason...if you are happy being with Mr. in between then be with him...give your self the chance to find happiness do not sacrifice it for others or waste your nor his time... good luck
2007-05-31 17:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by GIGI 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋