Why wont my boyfriend of 9 years have sex with me?

Question

I need some serious help...I am about ready to call a 9 year relationship off and cut me losses...Here is the case: He is 26 I am 33.. we have 2 sons together..during our first few years we had sex maybe once a week then it went to once a month. I belived something must of happen in his childhood that made him maybe resent sex but all that changed the day I found out he had been having an affair with the town Slut! I was devestated to say the least. I have trusted and belived in this man and now 2 kids later...I couldn't accept the fact that he left me and I did everything right...I waited his affair of course did not work out..We have tried to get things right but its just impossible...I cant forget the pain he caused and the betrayal and not to say we have NO SEX Now...I have to practically BEG!!! I have asked him several times if he is still cheating he says no. I am a very attractive, educated person with a man who thinks I am nothing but his kids mom!!! Do I leave? Do I cheat?

Answer 1

"I am a very attractive, educated person with a man who thinks I am nothing but his kids mom!!! Do I leave? Do I cheat?"


As a very attractive, educated person the only right answer is why haven't you left yet? Does this man make you a better person? Does he love and value you? Cheating will not make you feel better either...end it now and move forward with your life.

Answer 2

You leave. You deserve much better than this. You say you are very attractive, but I bet you dont feel it. His cheating has done a lot of damage to your self esteem. Regardless of whether he is cheating or not, he is obviously not loving you like you need You said you waited to see if the affair worked out, so that kinda gave him power over you because he knew you would take him under any condition....at all costs. It is obvious he has and is taking your love for granted. He isnt even trying to make the relationship work. Use your beauty and your education and find a man who is worthy of you.....you are wasting yourself staying in this one-sided relationship.

Answer 3

Lady ,you robbed the cradle.26-9=17 and you were 24!
A boy is not mature until he is 22 to 23 and it takes him another few years to decide what he wants,
He is doing now what he should have done long before he lived with you.
Maybe he will return to the fold but don't count on it.
I do not envy your situation but it was your doing in the first place.I know this is hard for you and can see your hurt.
But I have no solution for you ,and feel very sorry for the prediciment your in.

Answer 4

I am with everyone, if he really cared for you, he wouldn't have cheated in the first place. Obviously he's got no morals and he doesn't care enough about you becuase he cheated on you. People who care about you don't cheat on their partners. they don't hurt their partners behind their backs. Obviously he's not that into you and he was just with you for the sex. Sadly as an "educated" woman, you have the heart of a naive teenager. Sorry I didn't mean for that to sound mean. But yeah, leave, you don't deserve to be the second choice.

Answer 5

If you are not going to marry him you should leave him and don't have any more kids until you are married. It's selfish and unfair to the kids. This guy NEVER did make a commitment to you or your kids.

I hope that you have learned from this experience and actually make the decisions in future that an educated person would make.

Answer 6

What a effective guy! it is large that he's so respectful. it style of sounds like slightly a stretch for him to no longer assist you come back over and watch a action picture through fact it may lead directly to intercourse... He ought to be somewhat attracted to you. :D truthfully, nevertheless, i'd merely wait out those next 3 months mutually as abstaining from intercourse and then see what happens. He would be asserting that he would somewhat no longer have intercourse through fact he's afraid that he would be pressuring you into doing some thing you do no longer desire to. possibly, on your one twelve months anniversary, you may make it an exceptionally romantic night with rose petals and fizz (i don't be attentive to how previous you're, so possibly no longer.. heh) and merely somewhat enable him be attentive to which you're delicate with having intercourse with him. If he nonetheless does not desire to after that, you ought to comprehend his determination to attend considering the fact that he has respected yours. good luck!

Answer 7

Ask him if he wants to participate or if you need to look else where. Is he wanting an open relationship or the two of you to have one? If not going to be with him then will be happier looking into divorce so when you find the right man.

Answer 8

Unfortunately women like you NEVER wake up!!!

You have everything going wrong in this relationship!!

9 years of togetherness and no marriage??
2 kids and still unmarried to him??
you are older than him???
He is having relationship with other women....of course, what else do you expect???


There were numberless "red flags" in 9 years and you chose to close your eyes and now compalining?? He never wanted to be married to you..... you wanted to be with him. You accepted his way of life cuz he liked you for sex only and now he is done with you.

My words may seem very harsh but you are not alone in this situation. Women like yourself encourage guys like your boyfriend to harm you everyday, everywhere!!

Hope this helped???

Answer 9

well you have to think is everything to you about sex. It seems to me like it is. I would recommend going to a therapist the both of you and see if you can work this out. Maybe you will come out a winner out of all this and find you a better partnes. by the way I would love to see some photos. if you would like I have a couple of single friends.arount that age.

Answer 10

Don't let the door hit him in the butt on the way out!! Two children and he still couldn't bring himself to marry you let alone stay faithful. I'd say it's time to move him out.