Is it normal to continually help your ex-wife? (i.e. lend her your car, fix her car lend her money) and let her treat you like sh*t. Every two weeks he is doing something for her and then tells her he’s not going to help her with it again yet he always does. He’s not really nice to her or anything. She'll be rude to him and has to have things her way there is no compromising with the woman. The relationship ended because she cheated on him and he gave her another chance and she continued to cheat on him. So he got a divorce. And she tells her friends she want's to have another kid with him. He doesn’t want anything to do with her like that. They have one and he has full custody and I know the custody thing isn’t an issue. He says he hates her. Being nice and letting her take advantage of him is just easier? I just don’t understand.
2007-05-31 10:26:50 · 11 answers · asked by sugar_lumpkin84 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, I met a guy in the exact same situation, I'm even wondering if it might be the same person.
What little I knew about him, it was just in his nature to be very sweet, you know, the kind of sweet that hates confrontations. He had self esteem issues while in his marriage, and although he has come a long way, he still needs to work on his self esteem a bit more so as not to take insults from the ex. He used to say at the time he took crap from this woman because of his son, but it was the self esteem issue. Some people hate confrontations because they are not sure their arguments are good enough, so they take a lot of crap so as not to be pushed into steaming off.
It can be normal to be nice to your ex, but under the circumstances you describe, it is abuse by her which will only stop once he stops allowing it to happen.
2007-05-31 10:33:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, this is a pattern of behavior begun in their marriage and he just finds it easier to continue. In his mind it may be easier to just fix her car, lend her money or whatever rather than listen to her whine or make things tough custody wise.
Also - unless you were there, you don't know the details of their marriage, so don't pass judgment.
2007-05-31 11:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by shomechely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so you guys have custody of ther kid he shouldnt help her at all i could see if she had the kid and needed the car to get around but it he has his child he should only be seeing her when she visits the child and nothing more as his WIFE you can explain to him that he cannot keep letting her run his life thats your job plus she should be paying u guys child support not u guys supporting her
2007-05-31 10:38:19 · answer #3 · answered by REYANDRA S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has children with the woman then it is terrific that they can get along and that he is helping her. I try to get along with my ex-husband even though he is still a liar and a deadbeat. I also try to get along with my husband's son's mother. It is in the best interest of the children.
2007-05-31 10:35:31 · answer #4 · answered by kyeann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to help your ex-wife if she's nice, but why help someone who continues to treat you bad, that's not normal especially if it's an ex...
2007-05-31 10:31:30 · answer #5 · answered by Invisible 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why would you wnat to be bad to her. once you get divorce you should get rid of the problems too. I mean they are probably not together because they could not get along. So why fight when you are apart. It makes no sense.
2007-05-31 10:30:53 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everything you've said came from his perspective and may or may not be as you say. You sound like you think you can DO something about it. why in the hell ? ease off, let him handle his biz
2007-05-31 10:33:58 · answer #7 · answered by Ann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him
If you do what you have always done you will get what you have always got.
If you do not change your ways toward this woman she will always trat you this way. then let him decide if he wants to change. If he does not then it is up to you to decide how much you want to put up with before leaving.
2007-05-31 10:33:06 · answer #8 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is normal, not too nice but nice, and it is also normal to not be nice, depending on the past and present.
2007-05-31 10:31:12 · answer #9 · answered by Aaron 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't nice, this is doormat city.
2007-05-31 10:30:49 · answer #10 · answered by justa 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋