My husband and I have been maried for 2 1/2 years. I love him very very much but lately I feel like he may be up to something. In Feb. of this year he was beat up in a bar pretty badly and swears that he did nothing to provoke and has no clue what could have happened but then he admitted that he was drunk and was dancing with some girls. Last week he didn't come home and at 3 in the morning I called the cell and I heard some chick in the background yelling "he's with his F***ing friends". When he got home I asked him who that chick was and he said that she was some girl in the parking lot who was really drunk and the cops came to take her away. Then today he left a note saying that he was going to a friends house but when I stoped to see if I could get some money from him he wasn't there. He said he would be home by 3:30 and he's not home a hour later.
Would any body else suspect that he is cheating and how should I go about aproaching him? thanx for the advice.
2007-05-31 10:21:51 · 19 answers · asked by Alicia G 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's a night owl. He doesn't get off work until 11 at night and then he goes out after he gets off work. He usually doesn't let me know he's going out until he's already out. He wont even call me to let me know where he is and if he's going out so i don't worry about where he is. I'm really getting sick to my stomach thinking about it. He claims that he doesn't remember to call to let me know when he's gonna be home, or when I call the cell phone and he doesn't answer he'll claim that there was no missed calls and no messages from me. But when I get the phone he there is a message from.he always has some clever excuse as to why things are the way they are and I can never say your wrong becase I don't have any proof.
2007-05-31 10:38:47 · update #1
I would say he is a suspect. I think he is hiding something. If I were you I would just play it by ear. Keep your eyes open but until you have vain proof you can't really accuse him of anything. But in the meantime I would definitely have a talk with him and address all of my concerns.
Good Luck!
2007-05-31 10:28:01 · answer #1 · answered by Hoping he will bless me with #1 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Alicia I think he is cheating I am 99.9% sure he is cheating and I want to ask you why do you let your husband go out and get home 3:30 in the morning?And when he goes out why don't you go with him?If he does not let you go with him that means he is cheating for sure...and you said he was dancing with some girls the other day...how do you let him do does kinds of things?I am sorry but he is cheating on you and if I were you I would follow him when he goes out and that way you will find out what he really is up to.Good luck!
2007-05-31 17:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He's cheating and no guy gets into a fight at a bar. If theres girls yelling in the background more then likely he's hanging out with one of them. You need to do whats best for your self first and fore most. It will hurt to know the truth but you'll be better off in the long run . So lose the loser
2007-05-31 17:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by CT 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you already know the answer to your own question...You just want some clarification....Anyway I do believe he is doing more than cheating on you...He isn't acting like a husband...When people get married they shouldn't be all in bars..hanging in the parking lot with strange women..he probably has a drinking problem...with all this parting... when does he have time for you....You need to just let him go...love isn't suppose to hurt.....21/2 years. you guys are still newlyweds......he had to be already like this when you married him...but it's not your fault.....if you want any kind of happiness for yourself..you would leave him.....even if he's a night owl...he should still come home...stop making excuse for him..
2007-05-31 17:40:41 · answer #4 · answered by misty 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave his lying a.s.s...He is playing mad head games with you and your putting up with it..
If my husband was doing this sh*t to me, i would track him down wherever the hell he was and punch the sh*t out of him..You do not deserve this bull sh*t he is throwing at you gurl seriously and to me it definately sounds like he is cheating, why else would he be lying about all this sh*t, why would he always be going out and leaving you at home??Why would some chick yell "he is with his friends" if he did not know her?If he did not know her why the hell was she around him in the first place?Something fishy is seriously going on you need to get to the bottom of things and do not let him get away with this...
When you approach him be very calm, do not yell and scream because he may lie to you more. Make sure you get everything off your chest, tell him exactly how you feel...
I know everyone suggests this but have you thought about marriage counceling?
I know what your going through and how you feel i have been through this befor and it sucks but what can you do? I made the decision to leave, i was sick of putting up with his sh*t, he never changed, and things got worse..
It's your choice whether to stay with him or not but i can tell you now things will remain the way they are, he will not change, they may even get worse. Don't put youself through hell because he is not deserving of you, sounds to me like he doesn't even deserve your love..
Good luck girl i hope everything works out for you!
2007-05-31 17:38:10 · answer #5 · answered by Kasja 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A married guy that hangs around at night alone (or not) at bars and also gets beat up is not worth wondering about.
Leave this jerk and try to meet a guy someplace nice that respects you. Try taking some salsa lessons or something. No BARS!
2007-05-31 17:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by cathoratio 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was once in the same situation with identical goings on - leave him (even if it's temporary to shock him into realisation of what he has to lose) and see what happens. If you don't get back together then it was never meant to be. Meantime to fill in the time when you are apart, experiment with other blokes too(don't let him be the only one to play around and evoke his jealousy into the bargain.) By the way, I am still with my bloke after many separations, and happy too.
2007-06-01 14:23:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well everything points to the fact that he could be cheating, and if he is, then he's not going to admit it to you, so there is no best way of approaching him. If you really want to find out the truth, then maybe he needs to be followed. Just remember though, if you go to those extremes be prepared for what you find. Have a plan of action up your sleeve before you do this......Like....what do you want to do if he is cheating? Will you pack his bags and tell him to leave? Or will you want to confront him with the truth so as you want to see him crumble and ask for forgiveness? Work out what you want to achieve when and if you find out that he is cheating. Just be prepared for what you may find.
2007-05-31 17:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by rightio 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's definitely being dishonest about something. Suggest counseling or tell him to get lost. Better yet, pack his stuff for him, have it waiting on the front porch with the locks changed. Tell him he can't come back until he stops lying. That'll get his attention.
2007-05-31 17:33:08 · answer #9 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to make the situation light because i am sure you are hurting deeply over this but you could call that show cheater if you could not afford to have a private investigate do the investigating for you. just a thought i am sorry you are in this situation...
2007-05-31 17:32:50 · answer #10 · answered by Cari 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋