marriage problems?

Question

i'm a muslim and i had sort of an arranged marriage because my family is strict and very cultural, its been about two years now that i am maried,the guy is from pakistan. Its been nearly a year since he's *** to UK. At first he was such a sweet guy,he was so kind to me.BUT now evrything has changd,he is very bossy, he wants me to do everything his way, he doesnt want me to work but stay at home and be a housewife. Ive always been the independant type who likes to do things for my self. He says very nasty things to me and is very violent. Ive spoken to my parents but they are not understanding. I thought i had found the right guy, but he is really changed, he has a bad temper all the time. When i speak my mind and stick up for my self he tells me i am a bad wife. when i ask him that we need to talk to sort our marriage problems he says he doesnt want to talk to me becuz i am dumb. i am sick of being treated like this. He doesnt speak to me any more but stil wants me to do things for him

Answer 1

To the answerere above. NO, MUSLIM MEN ARE NOT BROUGHT UP LIKE THIS! IF HE DOES THAT THEN HE CAN HARDLY GO AROUND CALLING HIMSELF A GOOD MUSLIM.

Now to your answer, only you can answer this question at the end of the day.

This is the number for Muslim womens helpline. Get some professional advice and don't rely on us because we don't really know how we can help you and keep you safe at the safe time.
0800 032 7587

Answer 2

Baji ji, I am very sorry to hear your marriage problem. The most marriage are like that on and off. I am married for 1 year and 4 months hamdullallah so we always went like on and off as I mean once we argument and other time we making a love. He is also my cousin. I don't know what up to your husband. I am sure there must be something reason that he don't communicate with you. I also know that your husband doesn't love you in that way. Try to sit with him and talking with him very nicer way and ask him what situation problem he have. Ask him a question as much you can. Which you think it important you to ask. Beware, it might be somebody have put the black magic on your husband as it happen load people have a problem over the moneys, the marriage, the house, the relationship, can't have a baby and etc. You need to find out about it if he have or not. Inshallah Allah (SWT) will be fix your marriage work and give plenty love between you and your husband, Ameen, Baji...

Answer 3

1st of all you dont sound dumb! And I dont think it is out of the question to want a husband that is a partner to you and makes you feel loved. It is hard for me to advise you since I have grown up in totally different customs. For anyone else, I would say you need to do what makes YOU happy and advise to leave a controlling husband. It just depends on what kind of support group you may have if you do. Do you feel your parents will come around or do you have friends that will be there for you. You should not have to stay in a verbal and definitely not a physically abusive marriage. Good luck and stay safe.

Answer 4

i know that in some of the muslim communities and countries that the men are brought up to be like this. If you're independent then are you willing to go against your family and get divorced? I know that this is a very hard choice. But remember that you're not dumb and you're a beautiful person and no one deserves to be treated as though they are lower than dirt.

Answer 5

I am soooo sorry you are going through this and am also not sure what would happen if you got a divorce, but if it would only mean that your family would be upset for awile, than RUN as fast as you can.

He will not change and it will only escalate. Pack your bag and deal with the consequenses later. If you as independant as you say you are, then you will eb just fine. Godd luck

Answer 6

Yes, it sounds like you are having marital problems. What is your question? To leave or stay? That's a decision only you can make.

Good luck.

Answer 7

The Jehaad of woman is that she must not lose her patience if she gets hurt from her husband. Her patience is her Jehaad. - Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw)

Answer 8

While you still realize you would like a change you might start looking for a way to make yourself happy.

Answer 9

I am not familiar with your traditions but what would happen if you left him? does he hurt you or do you fear that he has the potential to hurt you? how would your family treat you if you left him?
you do not deserve to be treated that way. no one does

Answer 10

I'd leave his dumb butt..... why would you put up with it? You have a lot more patience than I do.