What would you do about this situation?

Question

I can't stand my in-laws!I have totally disconnected myself from them.The promblem is with my husband.If they say jump he says how high and I get pushed aside.Like for instense he knew he had to pick me up from work at 9:30 well,thanks to them it ended up being more like 10:30.I have to sit in an empty parking lot all by myself until he gets there.
This is not the first time that it has happened and it is due to him doing his mom's "honey do list".We don't live with them and they don't support us in any way.I am so pissed with everyone in that family that I just want to line them up and slap them one by one.I'm tired of being secound in line to mommy.I'm so fed up of the way she talks down to me and how myself or my children are never good enough for her.What do I do?
I know that a lot of you are going to say that my husband should stand up to them.He won't I've begged him to take up for me and our family and he won't.I'm just so upset with him right now.Please what should I do?

They are a bunch of fakers with empty promises and False smiles I feel like I've married into some kind of cult.

He doesn't give me a ride everyday its more like once every three mo.

Answer 1

Well if he won't stand up for you why do you need him?

Answer 2

Well, in this situation it is hard to overcome this problem. .. sometimes.

The answer is simple. . . the solution difficult.

A husband, just as much a wife, made a commitment to that person to put them before all others. To honor and cherish above all others I believe the vows state. This needs to be taken to heart.

The problem is that in the interest of fixing your problem it may create additional friction with his family. There is no winning solution. It will take time and hopefully your husband has the ability to solve the problem without causing another. If he can't put you first then unfortunately you picked the wrong husband.

I wish you luck and hope that you can find an answer that provides more insight than mine.

Answer 3

You really need to kick him to the curb if he cannot and will not put you before his mother! If he wanted to always be at his mum's beck and call, he had no business getting married. I know this is frustrating and hurtful to you, but it is also damaging to the kids. He is suffering from emotional incest. His mother guilts him into putting her first. If you want to stay with this man, pick up a few books on this subject. It will give you great insight into what goes on in his thought process. That being said, no one can make him change if he doesn't want to. Do what is right for you and your kids.

Answer 4

He needs to go to marriage counseling with you. The two of you have two different sets of expectations about what it means to be married. Neither of you is necessarily right (although I personally prefer your version of marriage, where the partners are the focus of each other's world), but since you are not currently matching, you need to work together to find out if you can fulfill each other's expectations. If he refuses, then you should be clear to him that you don't feel like you're actually married, because to you marriage is the primary commitment. Ask him if he is really so inflexible that he won't work on improving this aspect of your relationship. Unfortunately, if the two of you can't find a way to fufill each others needs, then you may not be able to remain successfully married.

Answer 5

Cut the putty off and make him sit up and beg for it like the dog he is and remind him mommy can't do all the things for him a wife can and if that don't work divorce him because he cares absolutely nothing about you.

Answer 6

Welcome to my world. I have been living this same thing for 37 years. As I said in another question, my honey do list is 9 years old. His mother comes first, always. Most of the time he is not here, he says he is at his mothers. I have no idea what to do about it because I cannot compete with his mother. Good luck to you

Answer 7

Next time he's late, call a cab, and pay for it out of his spending money. When he sees what his irresponsibility is costing, he will take notice. It is a logical consequence for his bad behavior.

Alternatively, call a friend and go to her house. Turn off your cellphone. A few hours later, after he's had plenty of time to worry, call him up and tell him you need a ride home. If he asks you why you didn't call earlier, just tell him that when he didn't show up you assumed he must be busy and didn't want to "bother" him, lol.

Answer 8

Look....you both need to talk don't demand him to stand up for you, just talk to him and tell him the way you feel. If you are always the one to talk back to his family you are going to be the bad one. You need him to deal with it. Another good thing might be to go to counseling, and if all this doesn't work then you will always be second to mommy.

Answer 9

Show him this question and and tell him if he does not make this marriage a 50/50 partnership that you will leave with the kids
-Blunt and to the point.

Answer 10

the only music approximately this unique subject may be "lodge California" by skill of The Eagles. nevertheless a large album--I even have an old vinyl replica that I have been given for my 14th birthday in (choke) 1977.

Answer 11

distance. When it is possible move further away. A further ride keeps him from visiting and running over to do things for them. You might even figure a way to show him when he wants something how it is to put someone else in front of him.