Sounds great, right? Every man's dream to have a threesome with two women, right? Well, what if this is simply a 'transition'. There's this woman who works in the same building as my wife. They've had lunch and 'talked' about things. This woman says she's interested in my wife, but if that means involving me, she's up for it. I think that's a danger sign. What if, in the midst of this 'affair', my wife decides the grass is...greener...on the other side. I don't mind competing with other guys, but to compete with the other half of the population too? It seems, first, that her wanting to be with this other woman is a bad sign, but maybe it IS just a 'swing thing' to her. Secondly, if I put my foot down and insist that we don't do this, will she go ahead and have the affair anyway? Seems I'm in an initially enviable position with very seriously danger in the long term. An affair is an affair whether I know about it or not.
2007-05-31 09:08:14 · 15 answers · asked by lrwilliams82 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
read Between Lovers by Eric Jerome Dickey. It's a bad idea. Not only the problems you mentioned, but what if YOU found the grass was greener on the other side (meaning you fell for her friend)? If you do accept the suggestion, you two both need to set boundaries. You need to discuss this and talk about how it is going to work, who is allowed to do what, and how much is too much and what is crossing the lines. I seriously suggest you read that book. It's a LOT like your current predicament. Please read it. I want to know what you decide on and if the book gave you anything to think about so email me at daddysjenny_bop89@yahoo.com or jennybop_89@hotmail.com. I hope the two of you seriously consider anything that could go wrong. Assume anything that could go wrong will go wrong. And I hope you two come out of this well.
2007-05-31 09:32:33 · answer #1 · answered by Love Child 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right to feel the way you do but, if I were you, I would go forward with it! Look, your wife is up for this experience whether you're gonna be there or not. The good thing is that she wants to include you in it for now. The bad thing is she just may decide that the grass IS greener between another girl's legs and dump you. Its happened to a lot better guys than you or I, my friend. But if you put your foot down, she could go ahead and do it anyway without you, thereby causing you to miss out on the time of your life, I know I enjoyed it. But seriously, if you absolutely don't want it to go down, let her know it and suffer the consequences. If your wife is true to you though, she'll still want what you got swinging. If this IS a transition then there's nothing you can do about it cuz its gonna happen. At least my way, you'll get to enjoy 2 women before she takes off. Of course you could just ask your wife how she really feels about this and voice your concerns. Good luck and let me know how it turns out if you like.
www.askaman@yahoo.com
2007-05-31 09:37:46 · answer #2 · answered by www.askaman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what you are comfortable with. If you relationship is solid, and there is no question that you are "it" for each other, then no sex in the world could lure your wife away from you, or you away from her. It's just sex.
But it sounds like you have some reservations about it. I assume these come from either some insecurities on your part that your wife would leave you for better sex with someone else, or that there really is the possibility she'd leave you because your marriage is not on solid ground right now. Only you know the answer to that question. But I don't think anybody would ever leave a great a spouse just for a piece of ***.
She could just be wanting to explore her bisexual curiousity.
Does she want to involve you in the play, like a threesome? Or is her wish to see this other woman alone? You said the other woman is okay with you involved. It sounds to me like she is very concientious of your relationship with your wife and even if your wife was going ga-ga over her she wouldn't let it go far before she shut it down with your wife.
Remember, they're bi... not totally lesbian.
For some great information about this, please check-out The Swingers board at http://www.swingersboard.com . You'll get lots of objective and real advice there.
2007-05-31 10:39:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're participating, then it's not an affair but a threesome.
If you have these concerns, TALK TO YOUR WIFE about them. How does she feel about women generally? Is she just experimenting, or has she felt bisexual her whole life?
If she IS a bisexual, she may feel the need to experience being with a woman at least once. The good news is that she wants you to be a part of that experience. That does NOT, however, give her permission to be with women as often as she likes. She chose you as her husband, and needs to be faithful to you.
Just because YOU like women doesn't mean you are free to experiment with anyone that YOU like, right? Then same deal for her. Communication is key to figure out what she wants long term. Whether or not you go ahead with the threesome, the issue is out there and will eventually need to be openly and honestly discussed.
2007-05-31 09:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband cheated on me the first time I was pregnant. He did want to have sex with me for fear of hurting the baby even though my midwife and I assured him it was perfectly fine. During my second pregnancy I told him if he still feared having sex with me then I would be okay with him finding someone else to have sex with. The conditions were that she also be married, and I would have to know when it was happening. He never did it. He travels a lot and is away from us sometimes weeks at a time. So I told him the same thing, minus the marriage requirement. He hasn't done anything. It's easy to keep track of him so I have no worries of there being anything I don't know about now. So I have found that my 'permission' has worked more like reverse psychology.
2016-05-17 22:53:14 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set the ground rules at the start...what does your wife want out of this? To experiment? A common thing? Make sure she intends on staying loyal to you.
Sounds like the other girl is into your wife, and your wife is curious. It doesn't necessarily sound like she wants to leave you for this woman. If you say no, there's always the possibility that she'll do it without you, but none of us know your wife like you do. You should know what she'll do better than anyone.
2007-05-31 09:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by Armless Joe, Bipedal Foe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an affair is an affair is an affair - seriously.
If your wife wants to experiment with a 3-some, choose a partner who neither of you are emotionally attached to. A woman who is interested in your wife is trying to break up your marriage, same as a man.
2007-05-31 11:34:22 · answer #7 · answered by shomechely 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the other woman is a lesbian, she will be probably fighting you in bed for your wife....lol sorry but that does sound like a funny situation. Tell you wife you are not comfortable doing it. Isn't that what women tell their husbands. Seems like your wife is curious to do it. If this becomes such an issue, go find yoursleft another wife, and leave her.
2007-05-31 09:23:35 · answer #8 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would not be wise for you to get involved in a threesome. Most of them cause problems if they are acted out. There will be hurt and jealousy like you've never known before. Do not participate. If she still goes through with it, she is cheating on you with this woman and that is adultery.
2007-05-31 09:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have concerns, talk to her, it took a lot for her to open up to you, so ask. Be confient that she wants you involved, or else she would have been with the woman without talking to you. Be safe and cautious if you do and make sure that your marriage is strong enough to survive if you do have a threesome.
2007-05-31 09:26:02 · answer #10 · answered by angelans4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋