my kids mother is making my life hell!!!?

Question

i met a girl at work who was married, we messed around and she got pregnant. 7 months later she left her husband and moved in with me. we never got along, in fact it got to where we couldn't stand to look at her. i stayed with her so i could be with my kids. things got horrible. i told her it was over and she wouldn't have it. i ended up finding the love of my life and we have been married for 7 years and two of our own children. my other kids mother hates me so much she is doing everything she can to make my kids not love me. she talks bad about me to them, she won't let them call me. now she is making it impossible for me to see them this year, we live across the states from each other. i know there are a lot of dead beat dads, but i am not one of them. i pay my child support, i gave her a house and car, i have helped however i can, but when she is having a bad time, she tries to get revenge on me. all i want is to be a part of my boys life. there are court orders in pl

place, but she does as she pleases and she knows i can't afford to fight this anymore. her family is pretty wealthy so she can fight me forever. any advice as to what i can do. i miss my boys so much and it is so hard nowing there is nothing i can do about it , she knows it to.

There is a custody order in place, i get them for 6 weeks in the summer. we were splitting the cost of the plane tickets, now she is saying she has some signed modification from me that states I will pay the round trip tickets. I NEVER signed this agreement and it wasn't notarized. You know how good ex's are at forging your signature though. I think her fiance' left her, from what the kids have said and this may be part of the reason she is acting this way and also the kids tell her they want to live with me. she is the type of mother who's career comes first and she buys things for the kids rather than spend time with them. she wanted to abort my oldes and i begged her to let me have him. then when i came down to it, she back out of our agreement, by then my other son was born. when i left her, i and my new wife had the boys all the time, even her son that is not mine. i used to have to call her to come see the kids. it's all about money and revenge

Answer 1

believe me when I say that these sons of yours know what is going on and they see how their mom acts and i would still try to call them everyday if you can afford too . at least leave a msg on their machine . do the kids have cell phones ? if so try to call their cell phones and talk to them so they know you still care . other than that i cant think of anything else to tell you .

Answer 2

Well for starters a lot of people are going to tell you that your fiance should step in and stop being a mama’s boy. I wholeheartedly disagree. If you are going to have a future with this man, then you need to be the one to nip this in the bud. Running to your husband every time you are pissed at MIL isn’t going to help anything. Now, if you have talked to her and she hasn’t budged then come up with a compromise. Being angry and getting snippy isn’t going to do anything. Tell her that this is your wedding and while you appreciate her advice, you want to do the planning yourself. Give her a section of the wedding that she can be in charge of and tell her to bring you three different options. For example, make her in charge of photography and have her do the search and bring you three options that you can choose from. That way she’s kept busy, feels apart of the planning, and is out of your hair. Remember that this isn’t only your wedding. The mothers of grooms usually get no say in anything whether it be the wedding or with children. She’s just trying to stay involved, even though she’s being a psycho about it. Good luck Edit----DO NOT call of the wedding. I can't believe that someone would suggest that just because you are running into problems. Way to run away. These are the people that will suggest divorce just because your husband's sneeze annoys you. Talk to her before doing anything that drastic.

Answer 3

You have a custody agreement in place. As in you get see your kids on weekends, holidays or whatever. Then by law she has to let you see them if she doesn't she breaking the custoday and visitation agreement and therefore breaking the law. I'd call a lawyer and see what he can do. Since you two live so far apart maybe you could work something out where you could have them during the summer when they don't have school.

Answer 4

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunatley so are hundred of thousands of other Father's not to mention this is the reason most men get such a bad impression of women in the first place.

You need to fight for your boys & finances being tight, search the internet & get some assistance. They are out there & can get you proper legal help without much or any cost. Then you need to hold your head up high! Hold onto your pride & don't let her take it from you - you work hard and you pay what your told.

Trust me when I say that your boys will see this for themselves when they can - PROVIDED - you never give up on seeing and being with them and never let her get to your self esteem! I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 5

I don't know the web site but you need to do a google search on Fathers visitation/alienation rights and they may be able to help you.

The bottom line is she is emotionally abusing your boys and interfering in the relationship with their younger siblings.

My daughters father left before she was born and I stopped sending pictures and letters about her when she was 4 but I will never bad talk about him, I speak the truth and would never interfere with them starting a relationship.

You need to get professional help for your boys and if necessary get them away from her. With her being across state you could have them see a therapist to determine what is really going on and maybe that organization I can't remember right now can help you coordinate it all. Mental health is covered under most insurance policies...

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

take your court papers that are in place and show them to a lawyer only for a consultation and he/she will tell you what can be done b/c you have rights to these children ordered by the court and if she is going against court orders she can be held in contempted court your consultation shouldn't be no more than 125.00 and you'll get all your advice there and if it is something that you can affordably persue then do it but you shouldn't have to spend anymore money on lawyers since orders are already in place just take action though don't let this stupid fu(king bit(h get away w/ this she is only hurting those boys and those boys will end up hating her one day for her immaturity and thoughtlessness of them...don't ignore this those kids aren't just hers they are just as much yours too don't let money be a dilema...I hope you get custody of those kids b/c they don't need to be around that stupid *** bit(h

Answer 7

I know where you're coming from me and my husband are going threw the same thing with his ex (and its been going on for over 6 years)... I feel for you and everyone involved..if you can..talk to a lawyer...thats probably your best option... For some unknown reason there are a handful of exes out there that can not just move on and stop with the greed and vengeance.

Answer 8

If there's nothing you can do legally (and it sounds like you can't), you may just have to bide your time. Be as true as you can to the boys - send them birthday cards, visit as much as possible, never bad-mouth their to them, and so on. It wont be long before they're out of her house. If she has done enough damage, you'll still have to work to build that relationship back up, even after they're out. But that may be the best you can do for now.

Answer 9

I would file contempt of court charges against her if she is not following the court orders. Ask for attorney fee's.

Then get a NEW parenting time - asking for MORE TIME.

Also, ask for an mental evail. by dr's. of her and the boys, her actions are taking a toll on the boys and should be brought to the Judges attention!

Good Luck!

Answer 10

If there are visitation orders in place, you should be able to work through the police/sherriff's office if she is in violation, instead of having to pay more lawyer's fees.

Good luck, and keep your head up -- your boys need you!