I need an unbiased opinion.?

Question

My parents are re-writing their will to include my half brother. He is my father’s son and chose not to contact my father for twenty nine years. He finally was curious and called him and they met. My father is not a deadbeat dad, both he and my half brother’s mother were married and both decided that it was best to allow my brother to decide when he wanted to meet my father. My parents asked my opinion and I am not sure what answer to give them. What should they leave my half brother in their wills? He is not my mother’s son so should he get an equal share of everything that they have worked for? Their estate will not be huge, but substantial, and they don’t want to give anyone the shaft. They want to be fair to all of us, including him. Despite the fact that he wasn't part of the family his entire life, he is now. There are two other siblings. I do not begrudge him anything, but I am curious about others opinions.

Those of you that say, he is an equal brother, what about all the income that my mom brought to the family? He is not related to her, why should he get part of what she worked for if she doesn't want him to.
And how do others of you out there know if I have kids or not?
My parents aren't going to die for quite a while (hopefully) but want my opinion as to what is fair.
Also, if you aren't going to be helpful, don't post anything!

He isn't a golddigger, they aren't dying anytime soon, and he doesn't know that they are rewriting their will.

Answer 1

Your opinion should not matter. You should tell your parents that you are not looking forward to their deaths. If there is anything left in the estate, then the decision should be made by the parents without input from the children.

Answer 2

Not to sound mean or evil, but this just sounds like a stranger in my opinion. Blood doesn't make family, love and time spent together does. I wouldn't leave him anything of cash value, but maybe sentimental value items would be ok. The funny thing is, something can only be sentimental if you knew the person for a long time. Maybe sentimental pictures?? But the pictures would be reasonably new since he hasn't been around. I know I sound mean but this dude sound like he wants to hop on the free money wagon to me. I bet you anything if your father told his stranger son that he won't get anything when he passes, he would quit coming around. As far as the legal standpoint, if your father passes first, your mother takes ownership of everything he has and no one else benefits unless stated in a will. Then if she were to pass, her kids take ownership, not his kid from a different marriage, so he could be left out legally. Sure sounds like he is waiting for a handout to me. And why did he decide to show up after all this time??............$$$$$$$ is why

Answer 3

If I was in your situation, I would tell my parents that I will be fine with whatever decision they make. The assets are theirs, and they have a right to do whatever they want with them.

If you think you might have hard feelings if your half-brother gets an equal share of the inheritance (and it's entirely understandable why you might have hard feelings), you could express this to your parents, but not as a demand or ultimatum. Just in the spirit of being honest and open. Be upfront about your feelings, but try to trust them to make the final decision.

If you don't think you'll have strong feelings one way or another, then I would suggest staying out of it. Becoming involved might cause stress and hard feelings.

In my opinion, parents have a right to do whatever they want with their assets and no obligation to leave money for anyone. I will likely inherit some money from my parents when they die, but I am not counting on it. If they want to spend the last years of their lives lavishly, draining all of their accounts, they have my sincere blessing. Likewise if they decide to donate all of their assets to a cause I don't believe in. My parents raised me and provided me with a good education, and that is quite enough for me.

Answer 4

This is a tough question and one that you'll probably get varied opinions about. If you looked at this thing purely mathematically, they could leave him 1/7th of their estate. That way, the children of both parents, you and your two full-siblings, will get twice as much as he will get. Since you have two parents in the relationship, that would be one way of approaching it. Or, the parents could split the estate in quarters. The amount of dollars may not be hugely different, and the feeling of inclusion he will get from that gesture would be special. Or, the parents could give you and your full-siblings personal items that you wish to have. You'd have more reason to want these personal items as they were part of your childhoods. They could then split the residual value of the estate into equal fourths treating all 4 children equally.

The real question is how the parents want to treat the likely death of one of them. If your father dies, will his estate go 100% to your mother, which is very common? Or, will he leave the estate in trust so she has the use of it until her death?

Answer 5

There's no real moral right or wrong here. Whatever your parents feel is right, is OK. If he just turned up last week, then I'd think something token would be fair, but if he's been "part of the family" for a few years now, an equal share probably is reasonable. But again, whatever your parents decide is OK. And it's their decision - you and your full siblings should stay out of giving input.

Answer 6

depending on your mothers contribution to the estate is dependant on what he will recieve. or if your mother has no problem sharing her part aswell I would say an equal amount, because now that he has met your father there is a good possibility that he will be willing to help with both your parents if they ever fall ill or wehn they become elderly. He will pobably also become closer to you all as a result of the meeting.
This is a difficult one and it is hard to say. It really shouldn't be your choice, it is your parents' blood and tears to do what they will with it. It is okay if they ask your opinion but I don't think that the burden should be on you to decide.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

I think that with the term family continuing to change questions like this will continue to pop up. If it were my will I would consider the family that he has had contact with. What might he be getting there? Does someone have more need, kids, college loans, an illness? With that considered I would make it as equitable as possible... Just a thought.

Answer 8

I think he is a gold digger. He took long enough to come around. Come on 29 years! He knows your parents are getting up there in the years and he wants to get his cut out of the money pie. I would leave his portion to a charity and call it a day. No one can make a fool out of your parents if they dont let them.

Answer 9

I think this is entirely up to your parents. It is their money and they worked for it. Whoever they want to leave it to, it is within their rights. As children, we should be thankful to get any monetary assistance from our parents. But it is not ours and we should not expect any, not mention how much. parents' responsibility is to give us to best environment and best education they can afford so we acquire the tool we need to make a good life for ourselves. Beyond that, anything is extra.

Answer 10

i think you should let you parents know that you aren't looking forward to them passing away but that they should include all of their children equally in the estate