yesterday i posted a queston about my baby and i. but now the father has came back and he want to take the baby when it born what do i do. i want to keep my baby. but he said if i even think about keeping the baby he would tell some one things i havent donr while i have been pregnant so they will think im a unfit mother and he will gwwt the baby what do i do im lost in this all advice is very much apprcated
2007-05-31 07:20:33 · 20 answers · asked by ur_gothic_chick_07 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
He is obviously untrustworthy, and you are best to avoid him at all costs. He can say anything, but it would have to be proven in court for him to have your parental rights terminated. In fact, you do not even have to list the father when the child is born, but then he would not be required to pay support, either. He would then have to get DNA testing done to prove that he is the father, and still would have to somehow prove you an unfit mother. In the USA, most court systems favor the mother and child being together, so it would be difficult for him to take the baby from you.
Make sure you go to an obstetrician as soon as possible (if you haven't already) and maintain regular checkups. Take as many classes on childbirth preparation, breastfeeding, parenting, pediatric first aid, etc. as you can. Also join groups for mothers and babies, like La Leche League or Mommy & Me type groups. When you are so actively involved in taking care of yourself and your child's health and well-being (and you'll have witnesses to prove it), he'll have no way to say that you are unfit. I'm willing to bet that at that point in time, he won't want to be bothered.
Most lawyers do have free initial consultations, so please make appointments with several in your area that have experience with family law. Good luck to you and your baby!
2007-05-31 07:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by HearKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell someone that you trust (someone older). A baby, while you should not be having one at 14, is NOT the end of the world. How do you know that your parents would kill you? They might surprise you. If not, you may want to seek out the assistance of a Catholic based unwed mother center. Believe it or not, they do still exist and they can help you out. You should probably also consider the possibility of adoption. 14 is SO young. If you found the right family, they would provide for all of your medical care and shelter while you are expecting. Open adoptions are a real possibility (you could always have contact with your child). You need medical care ASAP. You need to tell someone who can help you...perhaps your friend's parents? A grandparent? An Aunt? A teacher? There are things you can do and places you can go. Don't give up. It's not the end of the world. A baby is a blessing and even though you are not old enough to care for it...there are lots of people out there who would love a baby.
2016-05-17 22:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by meredith 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One, 99.9% of states (and countries) will NOT give custody to the father, regardless of the claims unless he can prove you are unfit. Should he make false claims against you and the investigator finds them untrue HE could be arrested for filing a false report. You need to take great care of yourself, make sure your OB takes great notes on what you are doing and that you are doing everything they ask of you.
You may also want to think about filing restraining order against him if you believe he could become violent. Make sure others around you see that you are taking care of yourself and the baby in case they need to testify in court.
Also, visit with an attorney (they do have offices that will consult with you for free) and look over your options. Every effort you make is another point on your side.
Do as the ladies say, document any threats/lies/emails (keep and print)/phone calls/messages on the answering machine, etc.
2007-05-31 07:28:21 · answer #3 · answered by Harley 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first of all ... if ur not married he has no say.. you are the mother you are carrying the child.. document every one of his threats and tell a lawyer if your really scared he might do something... when the child is born he is tested to see if he has anything in his system that you have done and if you really havent the tests will prve that.. he cant take your baby from you... just remember that your his mother and you never left your child and came back you have always been there... your babys daddy sounds like a scum bag ... good luck hun!
2007-05-31 07:25:20 · answer #4 · answered by Elle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, been there. He has to PROVE you are an unfit mother (physical evidence, plus no one look at what you did but what you are dong to the child) and if he is not there to sign the birth certificate then he has to take you to court to even prove that he is the father. Do not let this prick ruin yours or your childs life. My daughetrs father is a PRICK and has tried this crap with me, now I am having a very hard time to have my husband adopt my daughter. After all he is the only father she knows. DITCH HIM, may sound hard but it's the best thing!! Little ones are blessings. Do not ever let anyone hurt them!! CONGRATS!!!
2007-05-31 07:34:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE listen to me when I tell you this there are few things that will make the court take the child from its mother if he wants the child so bad let him sign the birth certificate WITH you and then he can pay child support and get visitation rights. Other wise he is just talking big making you think he can take your child so he does not need to worry about loosing money to child support. Get yourself a lawyer so you can sooth your mind to his accusations, unless you are on drugs, drink heavily, or have no way to support yourself or the child (living with your parents counts as a method of support) you WILL GET THE CHILD!
2007-05-31 07:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by Vince 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this man is a lot of trouble and ultimately he's not a good choice to be involved with.
Look at anything he is stating, if there is any validity to his claims, then do what you can now to clean those issues up, not just to regain custody, but to ensure you have a good life for you and your baby.
Then, I would contact an attorney and see what you can do to make sure you get custody of your child and to make sure he has to pay child support.
My guess is that he's trying to get out of paying you child support and to manipulate you into doing what he wants you to do. So, he's threatening to take custody to get you to bend on some issue.
If you have issues, clean them up and if you don't have issues, then realize that this guy is just trying to bully you.
2007-05-31 07:32:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, he cant just tell some one you are an unfit parent, he has to PROVE it. secondly, go to your local state attorneys office and file for a restraining order, he is causing you stress and this is harmful for your child. then you go and seek a family law attorney, one who specializes in custody cases, not just divorce, and you start the process now, while you are still pregnant. its not cheap, but as a mother i know you will do what ever it takes to keep your baby safe. you let them know you are in fear of losing your child and DEMAND supervised visitation once the baby is born.
2007-05-31 07:27:51 · answer #8 · answered by mom~of~7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
id inform your solicitor of what he has said and ask her to make a record of it and keep it. If your ex ever does try to pull a fast one with social services etc you can say 'hey look he said he was going to do this because of ....................' then get them to contact your lawyer who will have a record of what youve said. By the sounds of it he wont have a leg to stand on. He has no right over the baby and if he were to take your baby without your permission i'd call the police and have him arrested on child abduction.
Im sure you will befine hun, just be carefull what you say around this guy. Best wishes x
2007-05-31 07:27:00 · answer #9 · answered by prg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just relax!! I would first have lawyer consultation...if your b/f can not prove anything nothing will come of the charges....but having a lawyer on stand by would be a good idea just in case your b/f is serious about the threats...It is hard to prove a mother unfit....most judges will side w/ a mom so you should have nothing to worry about.....
***if you need moral support just email me....custody battles w/ jackas* can be stressful!!
2007-05-31 07:25:16 · answer #10 · answered by tll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋