Love or life which would you have chosen if you were me?

Question

I was once loved a young lady who had been taken through a lot of dramatic events in her early twenties. I married her and let her have her way for years. When we began dating I took it upon my self to listen to her problems and be a good friend. We ended up being together for almost a decade. We recently split because I wore down. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes I was only 30. I had to make changes to survive for my kids. I spoiled her so badly that she didn't want to change anything. I tried to live her way. The stress and frustration was too much. I was in great physical shape when I meet her. In fact Infact I was linebacker in college. I would be a fool to blame my ex for my problems. I honestly feel in a situation like this no one is to blame. Our relationship began and remained the same way but had to change. I had to change to survive but my ex still wants to have her way and not change. I couldn't handle her anymore. I tried for 3 years to make things work.

Answer 1

You made the decision that was right for you. Each one of us has a path we are meant to take. When we don't live our true life, we get worn down and sometimes become ill. This is usually our "wake-up call". I'm glad that you answered it and did what was right for you.

Answer 2

You tried....now it's her turn. If she's not willing to change and try to work things out, then she doesn't love you as much as you love her. It takes 2 people to have a relationship and 2 people to make that relationship work. You can't do it all. Why should you continue to give and her continue to take? You are just enabling her. A decade is a long time for her to be working through her problems. There comes a time in our lives when we have to put the past behind us and let it there.

Answer 3

One can't really work to its fullest without the other. To choose life means to have love for life, to choose love means that you must bring life to it.

Ina many aspects, we're taught that it is more favorable to be selfless, and that's fine, but somewhere down the line we've interpreted that to be literal and unwavering, and if you do even the slightest for yourself, then you become selfish. And you see this manifested in some of the most tragic cases - in relationships where there's give and take - the problem is when it's the same person who gives and the same person who takes. And unfortunately in essence, that's what happened her. You didn't have that balance straight out the gate so of course it all kind of snowballed.

Fortunately, all is not lost. So in this instance let's compromise: choose life, and love yourself. You'll have more of both in the end.

Answer 4

Love... Why would you want to live alone?

MAKE it work... get counseling... FIND JESUS our Lord and SAVIOR "with faith you can move mountains"
Phillippians 4:13
"I can do ALL things through Christ who streghthens me"
From 1 Corinthians chapter 13
if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Answer 5

I would choose life. If my significant other can't change with me for the the best; then I would let them go. As hard as it may be, MY life is worth more living. If my kids are involved I would definately live for them. You may have spoiled her for years, but now its time for her to give back to you; what you gave to her.

Answer 6

Look, be a good father to your kids and stay healthy. You cannot make people change. They change for themselves.

Keep doing the things that you need to. Stay in your kids lives and move on.

Answer 7

Relationships are a 2 way street - supposed to be anyway - occasionally the traffic will run all one direction - but not ALL the time. Best that you let it go - you deserve a woman who will nurture you as willingly as you nurture her.

Answer 8

love is never letting the bad times get you down and never meant to have couples split..you took your vows for better or worse and you need to stand beside them..but your spouse does as well...your life is the most important thing here..doesnt mean you dont love her..just means you cnat tolerate her behavior anymore..but at the same tiem you made her the way she is by giving her all and givin into he always...she needs to grow up and realize things change..that cant be helped and sometimes we have to rethink and revise our living situations..but to lkeave her??thats sad...

Answer 9

At this point of your life, I think you should value your life more than 'love'- your EX. And I would suggest that you focus more on taking care of yourself for your kids and your health. I don't think your EX do care for you coz if she does , then she should be by your side and support you no matter what.

Answer 10

What good would it do you to choose love if being with her stressed you out and cost you your health? It's time to move on and start over. You are still young!