Their looks and body I despise
Anger and jealousy soon arise
My need for perfect I cannot subdue
I'm alone all alone with no one but you
Always so critical always so mean
with all these troubles i must come clean
I hate when I breath it means Im still here
Im living my life with nothing but fear
this poem is not about me
2007-05-31 07:00:01 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
HEYO! but..is this a question?
2007-05-31 07:03:29 · answer #1 · answered by Hermione 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. It kind of loose cohesion at the end but all in all a good effort. Just by the way breathe is spelled with an "E" on the end.
2007-05-31 14:33:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are getting at, but the metre is a little sing-songy for something that is trying to be so full of angst.
2007-05-31 14:09:35 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cool .. if i may put this thru ..
like no one's talkin with someone's died
just imagine ur own gurl left u , better die instade
any grade ,the pain wont be from lame dude but from ur own close friend
heres the story about me and D. she likes good lookin and she bends on me
climed three years to the forth to the free .. thought its like ma days in these
but in the eyes i realize its only lies if ama see her wit' brand new guyz
but shes gone like no one known .. left me by ma own ....
period ..
2007-05-31 14:12:24 · answer #4 · answered by kyur4_th_ich0 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's good - it actually sounds like a song. If you're into songwriting, you could try that. It'd be cool!
2007-05-31 14:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by <peachy.queen> 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r a nice poet :-).........
2007-05-31 14:07:24 · answer #6 · answered by JuDY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋