Why do some women have this preconception that a man must prove (beyond resonable doubt) that mother is unfit?

Question

to win custody of his kids? Look at my other questions for proof. Legally the courts must make their decision based on the best interest of the child and mom should not win by default becasue she has a vagina.
My question is: What are your reasons for beleiveing that a man must prove a woman unfit in order to win custody? Why is it not that a woman must prove a man unfit? I see no other reason for this line of thinking except that it is blatant sexist discrimination.
And don't tell me it is because mom's are better care givers. A man can do what ever a woman can, and vice versa.

Answer 1

It is not a question of fitness. Don't let the courts fool you. It is about who can get to the court house faster and who has physical custody of the child. Typically men believe that woman are reasonable and will work things out...I am here to tell you guys that that is a lie. Most women are vindictive and cruel when it comes to matters of the heart. I know, I am a woman! So if you find youself in this bind here is how you buck the system...
1. Make sure you file for custody first! Especially if you live away from her (in another state) and file where you live, not where she lives.
2. Make sure you also file for child support when you file for custody. Don't let this be a blow to your ego...do you think she would let you off so easily?!
3. Make sure that you maintain physical custody of the child. The court is much less likely to take the child out of an established home with a regular routine. Until the order is in place you are both legally allowed to have possession of the child. Don't let her say that you are "kidnapping" the child. You have every right to take te child where you please. ( NB It is a good idea to inform the mother when you are leaving the state or going away for long periods of time..say to grandma's house for a month)
4. Allegations of abuse! Nipo these in the bud as soon as they are called out. If she says you abused your child take them to the doctor's office, file a police report, go to child services...get it in writing!!! If it happens often enough, it will look poorly on her in the long run.
5. If you are thinking of leaving your child's mother, quit your job at least 1 year before leaving and take a job in your fied making lower money but within a reasonable range of what you COULD make. Also try to get her to get a job! You want her contributing to the household and if at all possible you want both of you to be contributing equally (or you less) at the tiem of filing. The federal governmant subsidizes the money that is brought in through child support. (They say this is because of all the "dead beat" parents not paying up but seriously, do any of us really believe that?! If you can't afford a kid on your own, you shouldn't have one....period) If by chance you lose physical custody, you will want to pay the smallest amount possible. She will be fighting to get the most out of you she can get.

This may all seem very grim and ugly but divorce/separation isn't pretty. Ideally you both should work together to reach an amicable settlement with regards to your children. The reality is that the court system is biased towards the mother, but men have allowed themselves to be manipulted by the courts and by the mother. It is my experience that many father's give up the fight and never follow through and the cycle continues.

Answer 2

I answered that way because I spent a fortune in family court fighting for custody of my kids. I had a very good case, more points than I put in my last answer.

If you doubt me then get some good books on divorce and talk to an attorney. Initial consultations are usually free. This is not my opinion, this is really how it goes.

I was told day one that unless I could prove the mother was a drug user then I stood no chance. I fought anyway and the judge just heaped court fees on me until I went broke. My ex was not assessed a single fee. A lot of times the court will even make the father pay for the mothers attorney just to make him go broke faster.

edit: I just reread your question and you are asking why so many women think that way. I just get worked up when I talk about family court. Sorry!

Answer 3

I think its as simple as getting over some old sterotypes....traditionally, women have been the care givers, men have worked....I think that side of things just has not caught up with the rest....What I mean is, women are getting to a point where they are being treated more equally in the workplace, but men are still being undercut when it comes to the types of things you are talking about. It just takes time for things to get caught up....and we only seem to be able to take very small steps....but I don't agree with you last line totally. Yes men and women can do most of the same things, however, there are somethings that women are just better at, and there are somethings men are just better at...child raising is not one of those, and I do know there are exceptions to every rule.

Answer 4

in the eyes of the courts the bond between mom and new child should not be broken different than decrease than the direst of circumstances...subsequently maximum courts will part with the mummy on custody except she is deemed no longer worth. Now the guidelines are changing on a daily basis and extra and extra fathers are waiting to win custody. yet there continues to be the stigma that the guy is the bread winner and could spend extra hours exterior of the domicile offering for the new child, whilst a mom is a organic caregiver and holds a greater bond with the new child. does not make it appropriate even even though it truly is what it truly is.

Answer 5

I think that each must prove the other unfit (and themselves fit!), and it is up to the judge to determine who is fit. Neither should be favored over the other due to their gender.