My fiancee and I have been living together for 3years. We've had our ups and downs and I've always been right when it comes to intuition about our relationship. Well lately I've been feeling like he's gonna leave. I'm a little upset not that he wants to go but b/c all my 5year old and I have know for the past 5 years is him. I love him but I don't want him if he is unhappy and jumping down my throat every 5 seconds...but how will I start over I don't think I can function without him. financially and emotionally. He was my best friend but I do believe his heart has wondered. Where will I go what will I do I live in a state where I know no one and I don't believe I can support me and my son if he leaves. Any ideas?
2007-05-31 05:40:58 · 18 answers · asked by ~GiRLiE~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way I have a job and I make double what he does. (for all you guys who want to answer rudely)
2007-05-31 07:03:56 · update #1
stop being co dependant for you are not if he leaves file an immediate plea for child support you can do this through the court . also apply for food stamps and afdc and then they will probably garnish his check for your child support . Yes you can support your self take a bus and find a job and then get some government help untill you can get on your feet . stop being co dependant and take care of yourself and your child and let that dog go on .
2007-05-31 05:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlie, relax. I know exactly what you mean. I have great intuition as well, and when I tell my husband something - and if he denies it - then some where down the line he affirms what I've felt all along. But the thing is don't keep it inside. Every time I have an issue or a "gutt feeling" I call him on it. Everytime I suspect him of hiding something or not telling me the truth or outright lying to me, I call him on it. I told him if it continued I'd be out of there and for the past month or so, things have been better. What I also suspect is your fiancee is scared. No matter how long you've been together, living together, it's still not marriage. My husband started wigging out like a month or two before we got married. Started hanging out with his boys more instead of with me, started not to call me as much, didn't answer the phone when I called. I was so hurt and scared because I too thought I was going to lose him. And his ex was in his ear trying to convince him to give them another try and not marry me, well it took it's toll. He was just scared and uncertain. Well we TALKED It out. But we made it and we are married. TALK to your fiance, tell him what you feel and hopefully he'll open up to you. But if he doesn't, YOU CAN take care of yourself and your child because you will have no other choice. Good luck.
2007-05-31 05:51:55 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times intuition is right on the money. If you feel like his mind and heart have wandered, you could be right. You really should have a heart to heart and ask him honestly if he's unhappy. It could be something he's going through at work and has nothing to do with you, or it could be something you can work on together. If he does leave, move back home where you have friends and family to help you through the rough time to follow. If you have a plan of action, it will make the transition easier to deal with. Good luck.
2007-05-31 05:49:52 · answer #3 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried sitting him down and talking to him about how you feel? That should be your first step. You might also want to consider speaking to a professional, somebody that might be able to better guide you. It sounds to me like you have a few self-esteem issues anyway.
You called him your Fiancee, does this not mean you guys are planning on a future together?
It might also be a good idea for you to step out on your own and at least get a part-time job, something that can work into something more.
Good Luck
2007-05-31 05:55:44 · answer #4 · answered by Aunt Henny Penny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to him about his behavior and what he is feeling? Maybe his unhappiness is because of another issue like a problem at work. If he is planning on leaving, and you are having a hard time, is there a friend that you can talk to? How about heading home? Do you have family that can help you get back on your feet? Counseling might be necessary for you and your child to help with adjustment. Change is always hard and this would be a biggie. I hope it works out for all of you.
2007-05-31 05:58:19 · answer #5 · answered by Laura E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's only one way to find out.. ask. I have a feeling that you know him well enough to tell if he's lying to you. Whether you feel emotionally and financially stable enough to live and love on without him.. you need to know the truth! You don't want to live your life unhappy. Communication is the number one key to a good relationship girlie! Good luck, what you're going through can't be easy.
2007-05-31 05:46:15 · answer #6 · answered by moonshadow385 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might want to start making plans to move back home to be near your family. Then, get a job or education so you do not have to rely on any man to support you or your child. I know its hard but you have to do whatever is best for your son because he will learn from your response to this situation. Be strong and a good role model.
2007-05-31 05:47:14 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're that addicted to him then i think you need to leave. If hes constantly yelling at you then physical abuse may come next. If that happens i dont care what else is going on you leave him.
You can support you both.. my mother did it for me all my life since i was 3. Stop being so dependant on him and snap yourself out of this mess and clear your head and make your decision from there..
It sounds like you let him walk all over your because of how dependant you sound. That's probably your mistake.
2007-05-31 05:48:43 · answer #8 · answered by beast9156 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to have a talk with him and just ask him what is up. he owes it to you to at least let you know what he's planning, after all, you guys have been together for some time. as far as not getting by without him, you may have to sacrifice a few things, but I'm sure it can be done, even if it means temporarily moving in with friends or family. it beats being with someone who doesn't want to be with you, or having you constantly wondering if he's with someone else. be strong and just tell him how you have been feeling lately, don't be confrontational, just ask!
2007-05-31 05:48:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you lived the previous years with out him and you can now too. Do you work or have any skills to support you and your son. There are agencies to help you. Does the childs dad pay child support if he doesn't there are agencies to help you with that as well good luck the lesson here is you can live without this guy you will see
2007-05-31 05:49:37 · answer #10 · answered by ken j 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋