Ok so he loves me. I know because he cries when he is happy. but the thing is he is mad about money. He wants to save all our money for the next 2 years so we can have an Audi S5! that means no going out or anything. Another thing is he has no idea about being romantic. He said that flowers are a waste of time and money because they die. He has never really had a girl friend B4 so i am the fist. (wife) he keeps asking me if things are normal for a relationship like not agreeing on things. I do love him but just need some help to sort him out B4 he drives me crazy its like having a kid for a husband. I thought it was the wifes job. lol!
2007-05-31 05:15:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is he by any chance a mummy's boy? well if he is used to being on his own (no girl friends) then he is most likely used to getting things his own way like car for example. It might be hard for him to be in a relationship. On the one had he loves you but on the other had he does not know what to do. just step back a little and give him some time.
good luck
2007-05-31 05:28:54 · answer #1 · answered by Pip 23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what's your question? Are you wanting to know if it's normal for a married couple to not agree on things? ABSOLUTELY! I've been married for 19 years, and I promise you, my husband and I disagree on many, MANY things, however we usually agree on the important things. The other stuff is all about compromises--you each have to give up a little something to get something. That's what a marriage is all about.
If you want him to get you flowers, agree with him that flowers are a waste of $$ because they do die, but you'd like SOMETHING tangible every so often that shows how much he loves you. I tell my hubby that I don't like flowers (because they die) but I get all giddy when he brings some home anyway. Point out he doesn't have to go to the florist and spend $100 to bring you flowers--my hubby will pick up one of those $10 bunches at the grocery store for me, and I love it.
Part of being a wife is training the husband....it's a lifelong job. I tell people I have 3 children, the 2 I gave birth to and the one I married! LOL
2007-05-31 05:23:16 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
As for the Audi.... it has to be a MUTUAL decision and sacrifice for you both. If it's just him wanting the car then you shouldn't be forced to be deprived of things because he wants to be selfish.
It's O.K. to disagree. Each of you are entitled to your opinion. I'm pretty sure you both disagree with people on your job about issues, concerns and opinions but you don't quit your job. The same is with marriage.
Try to find your husband's TRUE motives. Is he trying to better life for YOU and HIM or the car is HIS wantings mostly.
A car a material possession. An accident, a theft, a fire etc.
and no more car. Marriage is till death do us part. Don't allow something temporary to destroy something meant for a life time. The sole purpose of a car is for transportation anyways. Maybe he could invest in a cheaper car or if the Audi is what he really wants, then he could extend his plan for saving to four years and then you can have money to spend some romantic time together dinner, flowers, a movie here and there. Your romantic needs are just as important as a car. COMPROMISE. LOL
2007-05-31 05:48:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
MRS.BOEA SPEAKING
MY HUBBY DOES THE SAME THING.
I HATE FLOWERS SO YOU TELL HIM YOU DON'T LIKE THEM AND MAKE A LIST OF WHAT YOU WANT NEXT HOLIDAY OR BIRTHDAY.
NOW MONEY WELL I HATED WHEN MY HUSBAND PUT MONEY UP ALL THE TIME FOR THE HOUSE OR THE FUTURE. AND I HATED THAT WE HARDLY GO OUT ANYMORE.
BUT I THEN REALIZE THAT IT WAS IMPORTANT BECAUSE HE HAD A STROKE IN NOVEMBER OF 2006 AND I'M GLAD HE SAVED UP CAUSE HE LOST HIS JOB AND HE WISHES HE WAS A LITTLE MORE ROMANTIC WITH ME.
SO ENCOURAGE HIM TO DO SO. AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE MONEY THING.
TRY TO MAKE SOME ON THE SIDE SO YOU TOO CAN HAVE FUN AND PLEASE STAY IN GOOD HEALTH AND GET CHECKED OUT.
I BEEN WITH MY HUBBY FOR 24 YRS GOT MARRIED TO HIM AT 17 AND ITS A WASTE TO ARGUE OVER SIMPLE THINGS THAT CAN BE FIX
ENJOY WHAT HE CAN GIVE YOU AND REMEMBER YOU CANT CHANGE HIM. JUST LOVE HIM AS HE IS
GOOD LUCK
MRS.BOEA
2007-05-31 05:24:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of them are like kids and you have to reward the good behaviour
Why not suggest separate money ??
Then he can save up for his precious car
Treat yourself to some flowers,
You have to love yourself first
It's normal to argue from time to time, and very healthy for a relationship,
Wouldn't life be boring if we all thought the same
2007-05-31 06:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he judges his worth, love, on whether or not he has a certian kind of car, well his focus is on material things and my guess is that him and you are not on the same page in regards to values, standards and expectations.
The car isn't going to improve your marriage or relationship with each other.
Consider counseling and some good self-help books:
Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman
Relationship Rescue, Phil McGraw
Good luck to you.
2007-05-31 05:21:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle- check out the website first- honestly its really good. Its not like people think beng obedient and bowing down- its about letting your man take responsibility for himself and for you - it sometimes means letting him make mistakes- but trust me if you force them to make the opposite decision to the one they want to you have problems further down the line because you always get the blame. If i had applied Laura Doyles philosophy 25 years ago my first marriage might have been a whole lot different.
2007-05-31 10:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by Ellie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but you should have picked a better husband. There is nothing you can do, he is the way he is and you can't change him. If fact he will probably get worse over time. If these things he does bother you, then you shouldn't have married him. Sorry but you agreed when you said "I do", now you have to live with it.
Oh the fact that he cries doesn't prove he loves you, just proves he is weak.
Next time pick a better husband.
2007-05-31 05:22:49 · answer #8 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh goodness! i'm uncertain i'd desire to bypass as quickly as a month... Has he continuously been this variety? i'd have various questions if he hasn't "continuously" been like this. i know from 2 of my sister-in-rules that the two one in each and every of my brothers have been as quickly as a month variety of fellows. My oldest brother went as far as going to his pcp and a therapist to work out why his intercourse force replaced into so low. there are various motives for a guy of that age to have little prefer for making love, yet while it relatively is meddling including your sexual prefer i'd say something or ask if he would be prepared to work out a professional? i'd in spite of the incontrovertible fact that difficulty if this habit is something new... i'd suspect that he replaced into dishonest or being untrue? And via dishonest i do no longer advise that he's inevitably having "intercourse" with yet another female, yet i'd be careful. reliable success to you and your intercourse existence!! :D
2016-12-18 09:52:41 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine would not buy flowers either until I asked him whether if i died he would bring flowers to my funeral and place them on my grave. He answered yes. So I told him not to wait until until i die because then I wont see them nor smell them. He started buying. Not manipulation, just a little logic and reasoning.
A lot of men can be kids like. You just try not to let it get at you although its quite hard.
2007-05-31 09:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋